No One Ever Said It Would Be This Hard
by Future Memory
Summary: This is going to be mainly Stefan and Elena's story, but it will also include some other ships. It's an AU story where Stefan and Elena meet after she is introduced to vampire's world.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, welcome to my new Stefan/Elena fan fiction that is going to be a little bit different than anything I wrote before. The other day, I was rewatching Haunted, and at one point while Stefan and Elena were sitting and talking on her porch, she says she wishes she can forget it all, that she wishes she had never met him. So I started to think, what if they haven't met when they did? What would their lives be like? What kind of people would they be? So I decided to write a fan fiction where they meet after certain things have happened, like Elena already being aware of the existence of the vampires. In order to write it like that, I had to change some things. Like Elene is not going to be a doppelganger, and her parent's car crash will play out differently. Well, I hope you'll enjoy it, have fun reading and please review!**

It was a quiet night in Msytic Falls. Quiet Sunday night, which meant you can find every high school student in the Grill, blowing out steam before the beginning of a new week. Elena and Bonnie were by the pool table, more talking about guys who came through the door and laughed at half drunk girls who were trying to much, than actually playing the game.

„Hey, check out those two" – Bonnie said and insensibly pointed to the two guys that were sitting by the table across them. One looked older than them. He had a black hair and dark, deep eyes that were undressing couple of those drunk girls by the bar. Both Bonnie and Elena knew his type. He played hard to get, but all he needed was love. He craved for it more than anyone, but was too scared to admit it because of the fear of a rejection. Bonnie was always saying it's better to keep a distance from those guys, but even she couldn't deny how attractive this one was. There was something interesting about the way his eyes moved. The other one looked like he was their age, he had a light brown hair, and from time to time his eyes smiled. He wasn't too interested in the girls like the other guy was, but he glanced in their direction few times. They were both drinking and tapping their foot under the table as the rhythm of the song carried them.

„Vampires?" – Elena whispered to her.

„I think so, they look cocky enough" – Bonnie laughed. Elena had no choice but laugh after her. Everyone hated vampires. Well, everyone who knew about their existence. People who knew the true cause of deaths around the town, and who didn't buy the story about wild animals attacking people in the middle of the town. But no one hated vampires more than Bonnie. Bonnie tried to explain to Elena that it's normal for witches to hate vampires, and than vampires are not fond of witches either. From the beginning of time witches were slaves to vampires, and Bonnie always said she would rather die than to serve someone so evil.

„Do you want to have fun?" – Elena asked with a big smile on her face. Her face brightened Bonnie's face too.

„What did you have in mind?"

**xxxx**

Stefan was sitting by the table in the restaurant in his home town. It's been a while since he was in Mystic Falls. Few decades, actually. He was drinking scotch, nervously tapping with his foot under the table and watched bunch of hormonal teens trying to get in each others pants. He glanced at his brother for few times who seemed to enjoy the view. He was smirking devilishly at two girls who were standing by the bar. Stefan was convinced he's not going to go after them, they were below Damon. They were an easy catch, something a young vampire would jump on first chance he gets. Damon liked a challenge.

„Those two girls are eating us with their eyes" – Damon bumped Stefan with his hand and pointed with his eyes to the two girls by the pool table. Stefan looked at the two girls who were clearly staring at them and playfully laughing. First girl was a short girl with dark skin, dark brown hair and big eyes. Stefan wondered how he hadn't noticed those big eyes on him before. Second girl was a little bit taller than her friend, with milky skin, long brown hair that was falling all over her back and a smile that made him want to smile too. He controlled himself, though.

„What are you thinking?" – Stefan asked. He knew her brother too well. He wouldn't show him those girls if he didn't want something from them. Sex or a bite on the neck. Sometimes both.

„I'm not thinking anything, brother" – Damon smirked at him. „What are you thinking?"

Stefan smiled back at him. „You want to have fun with them?" – Stefan asked while glancing at the girls.

„Yes, but that one doesn't look like much fun" – he pointed at the girl with the long brown hair. „The other one.. well, I could have fun with the other one" – Damon kept on smirking. Stefan didn't know what Damon was thinking, be he could keep on guessing. In that moment, the girl with long brown hair and bright smile headed to the front door.

„Fine" – Stefan took another sip of the scotch. „I'll have that one" – he got up from the chair and headed after the girl. „And Damon, there will be no killing" – Stefan pointed a finger at him, like he's warning him.

Damon smiled. „Your game, your rules, brother."

Stefan got out from the restaurant, and saw the girl walking all by herself through an empty parking lot. There was something about the way she moved. She did it so graciously. Stefan hurried to catch up with her.

Elena could feel cold wind on her back, and when she thought she felt someone's warm breath on her neck, she instantly turned around. But there wasn't anyone behind her. When she turned back, there was a guy standing in front of her.

„Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you look, especially under the moonlight" – Stefan told her while looking in her eyes. At first, he could see a hint of fear and surprise in her eyes, but as soon as she studied him, those emotions were gone. She looked back at him and burst into laughter. „What's funny?" – he felt irritated. No one has laughed at him when he gave them a compliment. Especially not a girl.

„Nothing" – she cleared her throat. „But that was incredibly cheesy" – she bumped into his shoulder with hers and walked past him. Stefan didn't know how to react. She was supposed to take the compliment, melt into his eyes and his boyish charm he was able to keep for the whole eternity, then he would take a sip from the neck and she wouldn't remember anything the next day. But she laughed at him, right into his face. He wasn't used to that.

„You're not used to taking compliments?" – he shouted and ran after her. He was interested in her. He was interested in the girl who had enough decency to laugh at his face.

„I am" – she seemed a little offended when he finally catched up with her. „But I think Shakespearean sonnets about moonlight virgins with a glowy skin and eyes that reflect their souls are a little bit out of our time" – she finally stopped walking when he stood in front of her.

He smiled. He had a nice smile, she thought to herself. „Okay, maybe my approach was.. wrong. How about this. I'm Stefan" – he stretched out his hand to her.

Stefan, she repeated in her head. That sounds old. „Elena" – she shook his hand. They were standing in front of each other for few minutes, but then the silence became awkward as they kept looking each other right in the eyes. Elena started feeling irritated to she started walking.

„Where are you headed to?" – he asked playfully, which irritated her more. Why was he nice to her? He should attack her, and she should put a stake through his heart. Simple as that. He should not talk to her, he should be biting her. Or trying to bite her. When she didn't answer him, he asked the same question again.

„Okay, can we stop pretending I don't know you're a vampire and that you don't want to drink every drop of blood from my body" – her irritation finally reached maximum, and she couldn't keep her tongue behind her teeth no more. He looked confused. And he was. He had no idea how could she possibly now he's a vampire, but he knew there's no point in hiding it. She seemed pretty sure she knows what she's talking about.

„Now what?" – he asked.

„Now I kill you" – she seemed pretty confident. He watched her as she was slowly pulling the stake out from the back of her pants.

Stefan laughed out loud. „You really think you can kill me?"

„Yes" – she said. There was no fear in her eyes. To him, it seemed like she's numb to fear. Numb to pain as well. He didn't understand how someone who looks so vulnerable can be so fearless. How can an 18 year old girl be standing in front of a vampire with a stake in her hands, being sure she can kill him?

„Give it a try then" – he said with a smirk on his face. She was surprised, but only for a moment. She didn't want him to see how surprised she was, so she didn't hesitate, not even for a moment. She raised the stake, and when she was ready to put it in his heart, he grabbed her hand. But he did it gently, like he didn't want to hurt her.

„You're never going to kill a vampire like that. Not the one that has a brain, at least" – he smiled at her.

„I should assume you have a brain, then?" – she didn't want to show him how disappointed she was because she failed to kill him.

He laughed and let go of her hand. „Give it another try."

Elena was surprised, but yet again, she didn't hesitate. She tried to stake him again, but this time, as soon as she raised the hand in which the stake was in, she could feel his hands around her waist. He twirled her and pulled her back to him. She wasn't facing him anymore, now her back was pressing to his chest. Her heart was beating wildly, but she didn't make a move. She didn't even make a sound. She wasn't feeling so fearless anymore. His hands were still around her waist, and she could feel how firm his body is while she was pressing next to him. He reached for her hand, took the stake from it and threw it on the ground. She could hear his face vamping out in the silence of the night. No one was around. She could scream, but that way, he would only kill her faster. Plus, probably no one would hear her scream. When she heard him growling, her body started tremoring. She knew the next step is his fangs on her neck, piercing through her skin. So she closed her eyes, that's the least she could do. She's not going to give him the satisfaction of seeing fear or pain in her eyes while he's killing her. But when she closed her eyes, she could feel him letting go of her waist.

„What are you doing?" – he asked.

When she couldn't feel his hands on her, or his chest on her back, she opened on eye, then the other and turned around. She saw him standing there with her stake in his hands.

„You're not going to kill me?" – she asked surprised. She was relieved, though.

Stefan laughed. „No, I don't kill pretty little things like you" – he made one step closer to her. „You should practice more" – he stretched out his hand and gave her her stake back. She grabbed the stake from his hands, but she didn't know what to say.

And when they thought the silence will become awkward, they could hear the front door of the restaurant slamming, and then they could hear someone's screams. Stefan noticed his brother squirming on the ground with his hands on his head, screaming. Bonnie was above him, with his hands stretched out.

„I see your friend met my brother" – Stefan said while giggling. Elena looked at him, but he kept looking in the direction where his brother was laying on the ground, trying to scream stop. „Can you ask her to stop?" – Stefan asked nicely before running in their direction. Elena ran after him.

„Bonnie, stop" – she said, half asking, half ordering her. Bonnie raised her look at Elena, and when her eyes met Elena's, she pulled her hands back and Damon stopped screaming. Stefan gave him a hand to help him get up. Elena crossed to Bonnie's side.

„Why did my brother do to piss you off this much?" – Stefan smiled at her while pulling Damon back up.

„He was suggesting inappropriate things to me" – Bonnie said through her teeth. Elena giggled. She knew Bonnie is a little bit close minded when it comes to boys and how they handle their hormones around her. So she could only imagine how furious she got when a vampire wanted to stick his tongue in her mouth.

„I was merely.." – Damon started talking but Stefan gave him a bump with his elbow, and Bonnie looked judgmentally at him. Stefan could assume his brother is going to do something like this. When he didn't want to feed of girls, he wanted to sleep with them. It was only a matter of time when one of them is not going to like his approach or choice of words. It's her luck she's a witch, because Damon doesn't like taking no for an answer.

„We're going to leave you two alone now" – Stefan said while holding his hand around Damon's. „But we're staying in the house on the edge of the town, if you ever want to finish that practice. I'd love to see you in a top and shorts" – Stefan winked at Elena. That house was empty as long as Elena could remember, and now she knew why.

„Or if you want to try any of those things I suggested" – Damon looked at Bonnie, but Stefan pulled him away before he got another chance to say something that will piss her off. Bonnie was irritated, but she had to smile at the cockiness of that vampire.

Bonnie and Elena watched those two walk away, and when Bonnie was convinced they can't hear them anymore, she looked at Elena.

„What kind of a practice?" – she smiled at Elena.

„Oh shut up" – she bumped into her shoulder with hers. She knew what Bonnie was thinking. „I'll tell you everything about it on the way home."


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for your reviews, guys, I really appreciate them! This chapter will show us what kind of a life Elena is living and how is she feeling, and there is a fun Stefan/Elena scene later. Enjoy!**

Elena was standing in front of her bedroom mirror, brushing her hair. Every day it was a same routine – wake up, take a shower, brush teeth, get ready, have coffee, Bonnie comes over and they head to the school. While she was pulling a big pink brush through her hair, Elena glanced to the pictures of her family that were glued to her mirror. Picture of her parents, her picture with mom, her picture with dad, their picture with Jeremy. Elena moves her look away from the mirror, because she had a feeling if she started at it any longer, she would burst into tears. She missed her parents so much, every minute of every day. But there were times when she had a feeling she can't take it anymore, like she had lost them only yeterday and like she's still dealing with the pain. In those moments she would whisper to herself „be strong, Elena. You have to be strong. They'd like you to be strong", and everything would be okay. She would move on with her life like nothing has changed. But still, everything was different. If only she stayed home that night, if only she didn't call them to pick her up, they would be alive now.

In that moment, she could someone knocking on her bedroom door.

„Come in" – she said while putting her brush down on the dresser.

„Have you seen my iPod?" – she could hear Jeremy's voice before she could see his face. Jeremy opened her bedroom door, and she could see he's still not dressed. His hair was all over the place, his shirt was hanging from his body, and he had big, black circles around his eyes. It was hard for Jeremy when their parents died. He was crushed for weeks, and he didn't want to talk to anyone. He kept shutting everyone down. No one knew what's going on in his life. He stopped doing things he liked to do the most, and Elena caught him few times smoking weed. Bonnie made him stop when she found out. To this day, Elena doesn't know how she succeeded in doing that, Bonnie told her that's their little secret. There is one thing she does know, her and Jeremy's relationship is not the same since their parents died. She tried to keep him out from all the vampire stuff, but Jeremy is noisy and curious, and he doesn't like when people keep things from him. She was afraid she would only push him further away if she keeps him out of the loop, so every once in a while they include him into decision making process.

„No, I haven't" – she said gently and bent down to pick up her Biology textbook from the floor. By the time she got up, Jeremy was nowhere to be seen. Elena sighed, put her books in her bag, grabbed a white lacy sweater from her closet and went downstairs.

Alaric was in the kitchen, pouring coffee in the mugs and talking on the phone. Whenever she saw Alaric, she remembered aunt Jenna. One more person she lost. One more person that died because of her. She left her alone in the house. Without any weapons. Without any real knowledge how to defend herself. They only had to lure her out to drain every drop of blood from her body. And they left her on the porch like that, for everyone to see. With her eyes wide open and with her blue sweater soaked in blood that was dripping down her neck. And soon, Alaric was the only one left. The only person her and Jeremy had to take care of them. Alaric loved Jenna very much, although they dated only briefly. Few months, more or less. But few months was enough for them to fall in love, and enough for him to cry over her grave.

Elena picked up one coffee mug from the counter, sat on a chair by the table and started sipping in. The coffee was hot, but she didn't mind. She liked it that way, she liked the way her tongue tingled after the wave of hot coffee splashed it.

Alaric had put his phone down, sighed, grabbed his cup of coffee and sat next to Elena.

„You don't have classes today?" – she asked him when she saw he's not dressed. He was wearing grey sweatpants and light blue shirt. His hair was all over the place, like Jeremy's was. They both looked so untidy, they could pass as twins. No one would even look at their faces when they would smell pizza on them.

„No, not today" – he said while opening today's newspapers.

In that moment she could hear Bonnie's car stopping in front of the house, and few moments later she could hear car siren. She took her last sip of coffee, put her sweater on, grabbed her bag from the floor, waved to Alaric and headed to the door. Bonnie opened car doors for her, like she usually did. She smiled and waved when she could see her coming. Elena smiled back while entering the car.

When they got to the school, Elena could see Matt from the parking lot. He was playing basketball with the guys. Things were still weird between her and Matt. They dated, briefly, after her parents died. He was her best friend for as long as she could remember, and she knew Matt is in love with her. The whole school knew. So at her weakest point, she finally gave in. Nothing changed much between them once they got in a relationship. They only kissed. A lot. Which Matt enjoyed more than she did. After some time, she realized she'll never like him that way, she'll always see him as a little Matty who used to play Barbies with her if she promised to tell no one. He'll always be her best friend, but nothing more than that. So she broke up with him. She didn't think it's fair pulling him by the nose, make him fall in love with her even more when she had no intention in loving him back that way.

Bonnie caught her staring at him, so she pulled her by her hand and they headed to the school's entrance.

„Have you seen Caroline?" – Bonnie asked her while opening the front door.

„No, not this weekend" – Elena replied while trying to see Caroline in the hallway. But she didn't see her anywhere, so she headed with Bonnie to their lockers.

„Hey there, beautiful" – she could hear man's voice behind her while she was locking her locker after putting books in it.

She turned around and saw Stefan standing behind her. He looked better in light, she thought. He was wairing dark jeans, black low boots and grey hoodie that was falling perfectly on his upper body.

„What are you doing here?" – she tried to sound tough, although she didn't look tough with her pink sleevles shirt and white lacy sweater. Stefan smiled, and Bonnie giggled after him. She was like dog who barks, but doesn't bite.

„This is Mystic Falls High School, right?" – he asked.

Both Bonnie and Elena nodded at the same time.

„Well, this is my first day then" – he smiled at her while catching the shocked expression on her face.

„How? I'm pretty sure they don't keep records of people who finished school 100 years ago" – she hissed at him. She felt pretty good about that remark, but he kept on smiling, which started to irritate her, and Bonnie could see that. She never saw Elena getting irritated so fast.

Stefan got behind her, and for a moment, she could feel his hoodie against her skin, which make her uncomfortable. „How sweet, you think I'm only 100 years old" – he whispered into her ear. She could feel his breath on her skin. Goosebumps appeared on her skin, and she tried to hide them by pulling her sweater down her hands, but it was too late. He had already noticed the effect he had on her, and that had put a smile on his face.

„Why are you doing this?" – Elena took on step closer to Bonnie.

Stefan smirked at her. „Because I'm evil. And bored. But mainly.." – he stepped closer to her, and now they were at the same distance the were before. „I can watch you in P.E. I really want to see you in those shorts" – suddenly, she had felt her touch on his skin. He had find a viseable place where her shirt had separated from her jeans. That place of her body went numb from his touch, and as long as he was pressing his finger to her skin, she could feel wave of hotness going through her body. Suddenly, he had pulled his hand back and turned his back to them.

„See you in Biology" – he said to them. „I hear we're going to learn about human body. Maybe we can examine each other" – he winked at Elena and disappeared behind the first corner he could find.

Bonnie laughed out loud, but Elena gave her a frightening look.

„Boy, that vampire has gotten under your skin" – Bonnie said through laugh. She didn't like vampires. She didn't trust them and she didn't want them near her, but Stefan made her laugh. He was different. He was pretending to be a douche, unlike his brother, he was actually a douche.

„Plus, he's hot" – Bonnie added when he could feel Elena's eyes on her. She raised her look at her and saw her eyes go mellow after Bonnie said those words.

„Yes, he is hot, isn't he?" – they heard a deep male voice behind them. They turned around and saw Damon smirking at them, with his eyes fixated on Bonnie.

„You too?" – Elena asked helplessly.

„God no" – Damon raised his voice. „This is Stefan's thing. I'm only making sure my baby bro got to school without eating anyone along the way" – he looked at Elena who tried to keep her cool. She was sure Damon is kidding. Probably.

„What, you like watching underage school girls?" – Bonnie asked. She couldn't hide the fact Damon is attractive. But she also couldn't hide the fact he's an ass.

Damon looked at her with his dark eyes, and for a moment there, Bonnie could swear they were on fire. He walked past them, which made them turn around after him.

„Well" – Damon started talking while stepping on step closer to them. „After you refused to dance for me in one of those school girl outfits, I realized I need to find a replacement" – he smiled at Bonnie. Now it was Elena's turn to giggle at Bonnie's unfortunate situation. But unlike Elena, Bonnie wasn't uncomfortable around Damon like she was around Stefan. Feeling his breath on her skin did not make her shiver, and he knew if he even tried to touch her, he'd pay for it sooner or later. Bonnie was that much stronger than Elena when it comes to men. Bonnie was stronger than Elena when it comes to everything, although Bonnie kept saying it's one of her faults. She wished to be like Elena. She wished she could let everyone in, but instead, she built walls around her and the people she loves. No one can get in, but no one can get out either.

They heard the school bell ring which meant they are going to be late for the class. So they said their goodbyes to Damon and ran to the classroom. When they got in, they saw Stefan sitting by his table and smiling at them, so they sat at the table behind him. They didn't want to allow him the luxury of watching them, they wanted to be the ones that will keep an eye in him. For the whole class, Stefan didn't turn around to look at them. That irritated Elena. Everything he did irritated her. Even the things he didn't do, apparently. When the bell that meant the end of the class rang, Stefan was first one at the door. Elena ran to the hallway to catch up with him, although even she didn't know why. Bonnie hardly catched up with him, but they couldn't see Stefan anywhere.

„Boo!" – suddenly Elena could feel someone's arms on her waist. She knew it was Stefan. His scream made her jump. She turned around and smacked him in the arm.

He laughed. „Beautiful, is there any chance you're in the cheerleading squad?" – Stefan asked while checking her out from head to toe.

„No" – Elena said. She was once, though. A cheerleader. When she had something to cheer about.

„Thought so" – Stefan said while checking out one of the girls in a cheerleader uniform that passed him. Bonnie and Elena caught his look. He looked like he's trying to see through her skirt, or at least try to hide his eyes under it. Elena rolled her eyes. Bonnie saw that and found it amusing, so she pushed Elena with her elbow.

„You're disgusting" – Elena said while rolling her eyes for the second time. „You should go in the sun, and burn. Speaking of that, how do you even walk in the sun?" – she shouted. Few people turned around after her. They must have thought she is crazy, asking a guy how can he walk in the sun. She even sounded crazy to herself.

„Well Elena, I use sun screen" – he shouted too. The same people who turned around after her laughed at his response and headed their own way. Even Bonnie smiled.

„No, really, how do you move in the sun?" – Bonnie asked.

„I have a ring" – Stefan answered politely. Elena couldn't figure out why was he so polite to Bonnie, and so hung up on her.

„A ring?" – Elena said harshly. When she heard the sound of her voice, she didn't have to ask herself why wasn't he polite to her like he was to Bonnie.

„Yes. If you show me yours, I'll show you mine" – Stefan saide while walking around her. They turned around after him. His comment made Bonnie laugh. If they were in reversed situations, Elena knew she would laugh at her too. Plus, she was sure Stefan is not talking about the rings. She was completely sure.

Stefan made unsatisfied face, like they're boring him, and he started walking to the front door.

„Where are you going?" – Elena shouted after him. She thought it's rude of him to walk away from them like that, without even explaining himself. But vampires are usually cocky, that shouldn't be a surprise for her.

„To watch the cheerleader practice" – Stefan turned around and yelled to them. „Do you think there will be something to bite?" – he smirked and turned around.

Bonnie and Elena looked at each other and ran after him.

**What do you think? Is Stefan getting hold of Elena? Does Damon have a chance with Bonnie?**


	3. Chapter 3

**To reply to your reviews (on which I thank you), there will be no triangle in this story. Elena and Damon will interact, but there will be no triangle. I'm bored with it in the show as it is, I don't want to write it too ;)**

Bonnie stepped with one foot on the Salvatore property. She remembered how they used to play around that house when they were kids, because it had a huge back yard and there was no noise, except birds humming from the woods. They never went into the house, though. People used to say it's haunted. They often daired each other to go in, but no one had the courage. It was a beautiful house, Bonnie thought looking it from today's point of view. When she was a child, she could only think of how amazing would it be to live there, with so many rooms and so much space. Now, she appreciated it's beauty, but also thought how hard would it be to keep the house clean. That made her wonder how do the Salvatores keep the house clean? They probably compel few innocent girls when house needs cleaning and let them do all the work. Later, they reward them with sucking blood from their necks.

Bonnie came closer to the door, put her hand on the handle and opened the door. She could see a long hallway in front of her. Floor and walls were lined with a dark wood. There was a beautiful, old carpet that was extending through the whole hallway. There were some plants, that looked surprisingly fresh, and pictures on the wall. In the end of the hallway, there was a staircase, and in front of it there were big doors both on the left and right side of the wall. She stepped in and looked around the house. She made a left turn and entered a big library. There were thousands of books on the shelves by the wall, and she was surprised by it. She didn't take Damon and Stefan as reading types, especially not Damon. But she figured out they had a lot of years to collect all these books. All the furniture in the house looked really old, but it also made the house look very elegant. Small tables with big night lamps and big, soft leather sofas were a perfect match for the library. She was admiring the house that she forgot why she came in the first place. Soon enough, she could feel someone's presence in the room. She could feel cold wind on her back, she was freezing. She cuddled her one arm with another to warm up.

„Damon?" – she said silently, but there was no answer. She was alone in the room, and all of a sudden she didn't feel cold anymore. She had let go of her arms and decided to go and find Damon elsewhere.

When she turned around, she bumped into strong male's figure. It was Damon, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. His hair was wet, and he had a smirk on his face. His eyes were smirking too. Although Bonnie wasn't looking into his eyes at the moment, she noticed before how beautiful they were. Light blue eyes that could pierce through person's skin. There is no way for a person to not feel that pair of eyes on them. He had a nice body, too. But who cared about that when he could make you do whatever he wanted with those eyes. Literally.

„Oh God, I'm so sorry" – she turned around and covered her eyes with her hands. She could feel blush coming to her cheeks.

„Don't be" – she could hear his voice close to hear ear. „I'm not" – he said in a seductive voice.

She turned around and saw him standing close to her. She could feel the electricity his body was sending, and her skin trembled. He must have thought she's silly, turning around like a child just because she saw him half naked. In the other hand, he's probably used to getting those kinds of reactions from girls. She wasn't sure that many of them turn around at the sight of him half naked, though.

„I need your help" – she stepped back a bit.

„You need my help?" – he started walking towards the table with alcohol. He picked up a glass and poured bourbon in it.

„Yes" – she said silently. She was ashamed. She never thought she would be asking for help from vampires. She never thought she would need it.

Damon studied her carefully. He wasn't usually attracted to her type. She was wearing ordinary black Converse shoes, washed up jeans and baby blue shirt with a monkey on it. Her hair was casually falling over her face and reaching her shoulders. The color of her hair was a perfect match to his, and he found that amusing for some reason. She looked rather innocent, but there was something about her that lit up fire in Damon's soul every time he saw her. She could light up his flame with that fierce look in her eyes and her proud standing when the matter of being a witch came into the question. She was proud of who she is.

„What about?" – he could play with her. He could tease her about the irony of her apparently hating vampires and now asking one of them for help, but he decided not to.

„Stefan told me about the rings, how you're able to walk in the sun with them" – Bonnie kept looking him in the eyes. „I want to know how to make one."

This amused Damon, but it also intrigued him. „To want to make that ring, you have to know a vampire. To want to help a vampire, you have to like them. Don't tell me you're developing a soft spot for us after meeting me" – he decided to tease her a little bit after all. He took another sip of the bourbon and gave her a sneaky look.

„Are you going to help me or not?" – she asked seriously. She didn't want to show him he makes her uncomfortable.

Damon sighed, drank the last sip of bourbon and came closer to Bonnie. „A witch made it for us when we became vampires. Not a lot of us can walk in the sun, honestly, me and my brother are the only ones I know about. I'm sure you will find the spell in your grimoar" – Damon smiled at her with his innocent puppy smile, but he still didn't look innocent enough. There was something about his eyes that always made him look seductive.

„Thank you" – there was a smile appearing in the corner of Bonnie's lips.

„Hey witchy" – Damon shouted after her when she turned around to leave. Now he has a nick name for her. How adorable, she though sarcastically. „You owe me" – he smirked.

„Oh yeah? Is there something you want?" – she decided to play his game.

„Do you want to open your present first?" – he pointed to his towel and raised his eyebrow.

Bonnie laughed out loud. „Goodbye Damon" – she smiled and turned around to leave.

„A kiss!" – Damon yelled after her.

Bonnie stopped walking and turned around. „A kiss?" – she asked silently.

Damon nodded and started walking towards her. „There's no way I'm kissing you" – she said with repulsion in her voice. Damon had to laugh at that.

Damon didn't have to beg for kisses. Or ask for them. When he liked something, he took it. But he knew that if he tried the same with Bonnie, he would be laying on the floor while she would be frying his brain. Part of him thought it would be worth it, but he sure as hell wasn't going to say that out loud. That would make him look weak. Damon was a lot of things, but weak wasn't one of them.

„Some other time then, I guess" – he winked at her. She tried to keep a serious expression on her face, but after some time she gave it up and a smile appeared on her face.

When she finally left the room, he could feel the flame in his soul turning of.

**xxxx**

Elena was standing in the park with a stake in her hands. There was a vampire few steps away from her, acting cocky and powerful. Elena has killed a vampire before, she had killed many vampires. Well, about 10, but who's counting. Alaric didn't let her take a swing at older vampires, but new ones who were still confused and always hungry, searching for an easy pray. Those were the easiest to kill, because they were young and stupid, thinking nothing can hurt them anymore, now when they're immortal.

She tried to hide her fear. Vampires are like dogs, they can smell fear on a person. Alaric says that the fear never goes away. Not when you're standing face to face with someone who can potentially take your life with nothing but their teeth. She tried to look strong and confident, but she couldn't look that fierce while wearing white floral dress and beige leather jacket. She didn't plan on playing the vampire slayer tonight, she was heading to pick some books in the library, but that vampire jumped out of nowhere.

She didn't recognize the vampire, which meant he's not from Mystic Falls, and she was grateful on that. She would hate if she had to kill somebody she saw walking down the street few days ago. He went about how her days are numbered, and in the moment when she decided to stake him, the vampire stopped talking and his body fell on the ground. He was dead. She raised her look and saw Stefan standing above him with his heart in his hand.

„Got a tissue?" – he asked while dropping the heart on vampire's dead body.

„What did you do that for?" – Elena was furious.

„Saved your life?" – he asked while making one step closer to her.

„I'm perfectly able to kill a vampire" – she shouted at him. She could feel the rage boiling inside of her. She didn't want to be anyone's damsel in distress. She didn't want to depend on anybody to save her life. She wanted to be independent and strong, and she wanted to fight for her life. She didn't want anyone to fight her fights for her. She simply wanted to kill that vampire to prove to herself that she's better than all those delusional people in the town who still believe animals are causing those deaths. She wanted to kill that vampire so she can prove to herself that she can defend herself, and that if it's needed, she can defend the people she loves. People who can't defend themselves. She didn't wanted to be saved, she wanted to be a savior.

„Of course you are" – a smile appeared in the corner of his lips as he made one more step closer to her.

Elena mad an angry face, put the stake back in her bag that was hanging on her shoulder, and turned around to walk away. Elena had a temper, in some situations, a really bad temper. When she was mad, she had a tendency to say a lot of thing she doesn't really mean. She inherited that from her father.

„You know, you're really cute when you pout" – Stefan stood in front of her and blocked her path so she can't walk away.

„What do you want, Stefan?" – she said irritated, raising her voice on the mention of his name.

„I think we both know an answer to that question" – Stefan checked her out from head to toe. Elena wasn't his type of a girl. Stefan wasn't even sure he has a type. Unlike his brother, he wasn't interested in women that much. When he felt the need, there was always some girl that was willing to sleep with him. But unlike Damon, he liked to make it a one time thing. He didn't want to sleep with her in the bed when they were done, he didn't want to cuddle or to tell her how beautiful she looks, and he didn't want to wake up next morning to try to explain to her why she has bite marks on her wrist. He didn't want to get attached to anyone. With Elena, it was different. He didn't want to have her, or to take her, he wanted her to want him. He didn't want to kiss her, he wanted her to kiss him. He wanted to play with her, but he didn't want to beg. He wanted her to beg, he wanted her to ask him to take her and never give her back. Whenever he saw her he wanted to grab her and take her to the bed, but for the first time in his life, he wanted her to enjoy being with him. What he felt wasn't a need, it wasn't his body driving him mad. He wanted her, and that confused him a little.

She could feel her rage reaching the maximum. If he said another word like that, she would explode. She rolled her eyes. „Why are you still here?"

„Maybe I like you" – he answered while biting his lips.

Like her? Was he making fun of her? She was nothing special. She was an 18 year old girl in a small town, and he was a vampire, someone who can have any woman he wants. She doubted he would want her. She wasn't desirable. Sure, she was pretty and she was sexy, people told her that before, but she never acted like someone who can seduce any man. She wasn't someone boys wanted, she was someone they settled for. He was making fun of her, and that drove her mad. Her palms were sweating, and she could feel the wave of words coming to her mouth.

„Like me?" – she raised her voice which made Stefan take one step back. „You're a vampire, in order to like me, you have to have feelings. And you're incapable of that, you're incapable of any sort of love or affection" – she kept yelling at him as she watched his eyes shrink. There was no more self satisfying smirk on his face, and now he was standing in the safe distance from her. She could feel her cheeks turning red, but not from embarrassment or blushing, but from anger.

He lowered his head down, and it took him about a minute to rise it back up. „You're completely right, Elena. I have no idea what love is" – he shrugged his shoulders. In that moment, she regretted every single word that come out from her mouth. He didn't look hurt, or he was trying not to look hurt. But there was a change in his face expression. He was more serious, and for a while, he looked like he was uncomfortable. „Goodnight" – he said silently, turned around and soon enough, he was nowhere to be seen.

She felt awful. Not because she had hurt him, but because she had allowed him to play her like that. Because she allowed herself to be weak and to show him that he pulled her strings. She hated him for that, for his ability to pull her strings like that. He could drive her mad in a second. And the worst of all, she liked it. She liked the way he made her feel. Even when those feelings were negative, her heart started racing when they flooded her body.

She wanted to take her words back, but she knew it's too late now. She sighed and started walking towards her home. She didn't feel like going to the library anymore. But she was not going to apologize to him. She was not going to apologize to a vampire, to someone she doesn't even know. Even if she wanted it, he proud wouldn't let her.

**What do you think, is Bonnie ever going to feel for Damon? What is it about Elena that makes Stefan feel like that? Did she have a right to say those things to him?**


	4. Chapter 4

**I know I said this is Stefan/Elena story, and it is, but I have to introduce other character too, since they're and will be big part of their lives. And since this is an AU story, but I'm still keeping the supernatural elements, I had to change some things, and since I did I have to explain them so that everything makes sense. I'm sorry if anyone is bored or doesn't like Bamon. I had to write that Bonnie/Damon interaction in the last chapter in order to introduce a character we all know and love in this chapter, and since I had to do it, I wondered why not make it fun ship wise!**

**I hope you'll like this chapter, and please review!**

Bonnie had let herself in Carolines house which was unlocked. All the houses in Mystic Falls were unlocked by day. People usually left them unlocked at night too, but since all these attacks started happening, people started locking their doors. No one but Founding Families was smart enough to lock the doors by day, although the mayor tried to point it out, in many occasions, that locking doors would be a smart idea. Bonnie concluded Sherif Forbes is at work, and Caroline is probably locked up in her room, so she wouldn't be able to open the doors for her even if Bonnie rang the doorbell. Caroline didn't need to keep her house locked by day because no one could hurt her anyway. And people who could, well, she could hurt them ten times more.

„Caroline" – Bonnie knocked on the door while invoking her friends name. „I'm coming in, so stay away from the light" – Bonnie announced while slowly opening the door. She opened them as little as she could, but enough so she could squeeze herself through in the room. When she entered the room, Caroline was sitting on her bed, putting a mascara on. Although she couldn't go out by day, she liked to look pretty in case someone came over. It was dark in her room since she had thick blinds pulled over her window so that sun can't come in.

„Hey Bonnie" – Caroline had put the mascara down and smiled widely at Bonnie. Bonnie hated vampires, and she could be saying that all day long. But how could she hate her best friend, even if she's a vampire? How could she hate her when she's the same old Caroline she was the day before she became a vampire? Caroline who couldn't stop talking about boys, who spent her weekends shopping, who practically lived at the mall, who helped with organizing school dances? What happened to Caroline was awful, and both Elena and Bonnie blamed themselves for it for the longest time. It's been a month since Caroline was turned, and they did everything in their power to help her. Alaric also helped a great deal too. But the whole thing was hard for her mom, someone who was taught vampires are evil and that they needed to be killed. She couldn't kill her daughter, but in the same time, she couldn't fully accept her either. Caroline becoming a vampire changed Bonnie's view on them. Elena's too, although Elena never hated vampires as much as Bonnie did. She didn't have cuddly feelings for them, but she didn't have a need to kill every one of them. What Bonnie realized out of the whole experience is that there are not a lot of people who ask to become vampires. Bonnie would like to think none of them do, but she knew that is a lie. When Caroline was turned, Bonnie knew she never asked for it. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Most importantly, Bonnie realized every vampire was once a human, and that even though it's in their nature to kill people, they never stop caring for people they once knew, and they never lose their ability to love.

„I have something for you" – Bonnie returned her a smile and reached for her bag. She took out a ring from it and handed it to Caroline. Caroline took the ring out of Bonnie's hands and started studying it. There wasn't anything special about it, it was an ordinary ring, so she gave Bonnie a confused look. Bonnie kept smiling at here. „Put it on" – she ordered her. Caroline pouted, but she did what Bonnie asked her to do. Bonnie pulled her by her hand and dragged her to the window. She opened the blinds a little bit and put Caroline's hand on the light.

Caroline screamed. „Bonnie, are you crazy? What are you doing?" – she kept screaming while keeping her eyes closed, trying to pull her hand from her friends grip. „I'll burn" – she screamed with a muffled voice. But in that moment Caroline realized she's not on fire. She's not even hurting. Then only thing she can feel is the warmth of the sun on her skin, something she didn't feel for a long, long time. She finally opened her eyes and looked at Bonnie who was smiling like an idiot. „But how?" – she asked.

„The ring, I've put a spell on it" – she pulled the blinds from the window and sun started bathing Caroline's figure. She smiled widely and started twirling around her room. And she twirled until she became dizzy. She fell on her bed and started laughing.

„How did you find it?" – Caroline asked. She couldn't remove that big smile from her face. It's been a while since she's been out. Bonnie and Elena found a way to school trough the sewer system, so no one suspects anything. But Caroline tried to avoid that path. Her mom was excusing her from school as much as she could, but they all knew that can't last forever.

„There are two new vampires in town, and they can walk in the light. I'm sure you'll meet them soon. So I asked one of them how they do it, and he was kind enough to tell me I'll find a spell for it in my grimoar" – Bonnie sighed.

Caroline was shocked that Bonnie would talk to vampires. „New vampires?" – she was intrigued.

„Yes, they live in that boarding house on the edge of the town" – Bonnie tried to avoid Caroline's look, and she wished she would stop asking her questions about Damon and Stefan. She would rather let Elena explain her the situation. Although Caroline wanted to know, there was one thing she wanted more. To go out. She wanted to smell the fresh air and to feel the sun on her skin. She wanted to see all of her friends and talk to the boys and shop. God, how much she wanted to shop.

„Let's go out!" – she screamed and jumped from the bed. „We could go to the Grill, or to the mall. We could eat ice cream. I miss ice cream. I want to buy new clothes. I've been reading a lot of fashion magazines this last month and now I'm ready to put theory into practice."

Bonnie watched Caroline jumping all over the room, trying to find a perfect outfit. She was happy. Bonnie hasn't seen her so happy in a while. Bonnie hasn't been so happy in a while herself either. Probably because some traces of guilt stayed with her since Caroline turned, although Caroline told both her and Elena it's not their fault. Watching Caroline happy made her happy too. She realized this is something she needed, to help her friend now when she wasn't able before. Caroline slipped into a summer dress and flats, put her hair into a pony tail and gestured with her hands it's time to leave. Bonnie got up from the bed and followed Caroline as she skipped to the exit.

In one moment Caroline turned around and put hands around Bonnies neck. „Thank you, Bonnie" – she squeezed her tightly.

„You're welcome" – she tapped Caroline on the back. „Now let's get you new pair of shoes" – she had let Caroline gently out of her hug and opened the front door. Caroline skipped happily in the sunlight.

**xxxx**

It was 4am when Elena looked at her alarm clock. She rolled on the other side of the bed and closed her eyes. When she opened them the next time, it was 6am. But she felt like she slept for no more than five minutes. After few minutes of keeping her eyes closed she realized she's not falling back to sleep this time, so she threw the covers from her body on the other side of the bed.

It's been two weeks since she and Stefan had that little awkward encounter in the park. She hasn't seen him ever since. He wasn't in school, he wasn't popping out in the most unfortunate situations, he was nowhere to be seen. She thought he skipped town, but Bonnie told her she saw Damon around the town. Plus, why would he leave? Because some irrelevant small town schoolgirl told him few mean words? But it was bugging her, the way he acted, like a child. Probably the same way she would act if she was in his skin. It annoyed her, how he simply disappeared. For some reason, it annoyed her not having him in her presence. And she was irritated because she felt annoyed. She hated the fact someone had such power over her. That someone could make her feel so many things in such a short period. And she knew she could stop feeling like this. She could simply go over there and talk to him. Or she could stake him in his sleep. But what would she get with that? Lifetime of regret and feeling sorry. Lifetime of no one making her heart jump at the mention of their name. Stefan, she repeated in her head. Her mind froze, but her heart started jumping faster and faster. She could go over there and apologize, but something was holding her back. Her pride, that annoying little voice in the back of her head, telling her it's a bad idea. Sometimes, the jumping of her heart overshadowed that voice.

She sighed and furiously jumped from the bed. She took pair of jeans, ordinary purple shirt and black leather jacket and hurried to the bathroom before Jeremy occupies it. She brushed her teeth, got dressed, put her hair in a long pony tail and grabbed keys of her car from her dresser. She made herself a cup of coffee before she left. She knew she shouldn't be driving in this state of mind. She was mad at Stefan for staying away, but she was mad at herself more for letting someone else take control of her emotions. She couldn't believe she's doing this. She drank her coffee in a hurry and drove away in a car.

Few minutes later she stopped her car in front of the boarding house. It was huge, larger than she remembered it. But she wasn't on the estate since she was a kid. She entered the house in a hurry. She was still a little bit angry. When she opened the front door, she was amazed by the size of the place. She walked over to the doors on her left, and she could see Damon sitting on the sofa reading a book. Damon? Reading a book? That was a sight Bonnie would pay for to see, Elena thought. She was only thankful Damon was decent unlike he was when Bonnie dropped by few weeks ago. Elena giggled out loud when she remembered that story, which made Damon rise his head.

„Elena" – he said and closed the book. She walked into the room. Now she knew Bonnie wasn't exaggerating. There were literally thousands of books on the shelves. He left the book on the little table by the sofa and got up as she made one step closer to him.

„Is Stefan here?" – she asked.

„I'm afraid you just missed him" – Damon replied. Damon was good looking. And she had to agree with Bonnie, he had hypnotizing eyes. But he simply didn't have that something that would make her shiver in his presence. „You pissed him of, didn't you?" – Damon asked while smirking.

„He told you?" – Elena asked in shock. She couldn't imagine Stefan and Damon sharing their feelings over the cup of tea. Or the cup of blood. They were more of a 'I have feelings but I don't want you to know that I have feelings' kind of type.

„We don't really gossip, Elena" – Damon laughed. „But I could see something is bugging him." Elena was surprised. Why would that bug him? She was sure he had better things to do. Plus, there are more girls in Mystic Falls. Girls that are prettier, and sexier than her. Girls who would give it up much faster than she would. Not that she is going to give up, ever. She wasn't in a place to care for a boy, especially not a vampire. But yet, part of her cared for Stefan, who was a boy, and a vampire. If she didn't, she wouldn't be standing here at the moment. Maybe that's what excited him, the thrill of a chase, fact that he can't have her. Maybe he wants to watch her slowly give in. But why would he do that? If he wanted her, he didn't even need her permission, he could compel her and she would be his, no questions asked. Why would he spend so much time on her? Then again, he had all the time on the world.

„You two seem close" – she admitted.

„We weren't always" – Damon smiled and lowered his head down.

He made one step closer to her, and he leaned down over her in a way like he's going to kiss her. That made her jump, but he only reached for an empty glass that was standing on a table behind her. Damon laughed out loud. „Don't flatter yourself, you're not my type" – Damon saw while grabbing glass from the table and walking towards the table with alcohol.

„Oh yeah? And what is your type?" – she asked more for Bonnie than for her own interest. She didn't want to see Bonnie get hurt. She knew Bonnie hates vampires, she knew Bonnie doesn't let people in so easily, but she also knew someone got under her skin when she can't stop talking about them. It was only matter of time when Damon realizes he got to her, and when he does, Elena wanted to make sure his intentions are honorable.

Damon poured scotch in the glass and turned around to look at her. „Ones that are not sleeping with my brother" – he took a sip.

Elena could feel blush coming to her cheeks. She couldn't believe he just said that. She couldn't believe he would even think that she would sleep with Stefan. Not after few weeks of knowing him. „I'm not sleeping with him" – she said quietly while trying to avoid Damon's eye contact.

„Let's say I believe that he still hasn't dragged you in bed" – Damon laughed. I guess Stefan really is like that, she thought. Goes around from girl to girl, sleeps with them and then moves on. He probably wanted the same from her. He wanted to sleep with her, and the next day he would disappear from town. „I still wouldn't lay an eye on you. Nothing personal, I think you're charming, but me and my brother have bad history with women" – Damon's face expression got serious and he took another sip of his drink. Elena wanted to know what kind of a history, but she thought it would be rude of her to ask. She doubted Damon would tell her anyway.

„Morning, brother" – Elena could hear a voice coming behind her. She turned around and saw Stefan standing on the entrance. Damon raised his head and nodded to his brother. Stefan's hair was all messed up. He looked like he just woke up. But he was wearing gray sweatpants and blue hoodie, like he was taking a run. Elena wondered do vampires do that, run for their own pleasure, like people do.

„I'll leave you two alone" – Damon poured down some more scotch in his glass, winked at Elena, tapped his brother on the shoulder and disappeared from the room.

„What are you doing here, Elena?" – he asked. His voice was sharp, and he sounded a little uninterested. Like he asked that question without really wanting to hear the answer.

„I came to see where you are, I haven't seen in you in a while" – she said while she watched him pour himself a drink. Scotch, just like Damon. Maybe alcohol helped them, with their cravings. And maybe, they were taking it for pleasure, like people did. Elena had so many questions, but she could sense Stefan is not in a mood to answer them.

„So you came to make sure my feelings are not hurt? Funny, because last time I checked, I didn't have any" – he turned around a took a sip from the glass. He had a serious expression on his face. He wasn't teasing her, he was serious. Could he really be hurt? One time, Caroline burst into tears when Elena told her her dress does not match her shoes. Caroline was always a drama queen, but usually she ignored her. When she became a vampire, she started taking things too serious, even the smallest remarks could hurt her. Do vampires really hurt so much? She thought in all the lifetimes he lived, Stefan would learn how to keep his emotions in check. But then again, people spend their life trying to find a way to hide their feelings and to control their emotions, and they never do. Are vampires no better? Can't they decide not to care? How do they walk around knowing they killed innocent people if they're still able to feel? In that moment Elena thought Stefan annoyed her so much because she doesn't really understand him.

„I didn't mean it like that" – she tried to catch his look. „When I'm mad, I say things I don't mean.."

„No, you were completely right" – he interrupted her in the middle of the sentence. „I don't have feelings, and I have no idea what love is" – he was cold. His voice was cold. But he didn't tremble. He didn't even blink. He took one more sip of the drink, put the glass on the table and came closer to her. He came so close that his hoodie was pressing on her shirt. Shirt that was so thin she could feel his hoodie on her skin. She started shaking, and she could feel her temperature rising. She didn't know was she scared or excited, but the worst thing of all is that she liked it. She liked the way he made her feel. At first, she thought he makes her helpless, weak. But now, she had a feeling he makes her desirable, daring.. that next to him, she looks like a woman. She wanted to put her arms around his neck and kiss him. She wanted to kiss him until she loses all the air from her lungs, and then stop only for a second until her lungs fill with air again. She wanted to feel his body pressing next to hers. She wanted to feel his touch on her skin. She wanted him, and she wanted to be his. She was afraid of only one thing, that he knows that she wants him. „But you know what, I don't think you do either" – he said while taking one step away from her. „I think you're a scared little girl who acts like she doesn't want to be loved, or wanted, and then you come over here looking exactly for that" – he smirked at her. „Well obviously, you're barking on the wrong tree. I don't know how to love" – he turned around and grabbed a drink in his hand. This time, he drank everything that was in the glass.

„I came here to apologize" – she could feel rage boiling inside her body. Who does he think he is? He doesn't know a first thing about her. He has no idea what the hell she wants. But then again, she doesn't know the first thing about him, and she made assumptions about him the last time they talked. She was angry, but she felt like she's not allowed to be. She had hurt him, he's only defending himself. He's only taking her words and giving them back to her.

„No need, Elena" – there was something about the way he said her name. Although his voice was sharp, her name sounded like a melody coming from his mouth. She wanted to hear it again, and again, and again. „I'm not mad, or angry, or hurt. I moved on, you should to. I have no idea why you came here, we don't even know each other. Plus, everything is my fault, you made it clear you don't want me near you. Now the feeling is mutual."

He was right, they don't know each other so well. They don't know each other at all, and they don't owe anything to each other. But his words had hurt her. She knows she acted like she doesn't want him near her, but secretly she was enjoying him being there. And now he doesn't want her near him? For some reason, that had hurt. Maybe because she realized she wants to be near him. And it was all her fault, if she hadn't acted the way she did, maybe things would be different now.

„Fine!" – she shouted. She didn't want to let him see that he had hurt her. She didn't want him to know that he has any kind of affect on her. But she also knew that by letting him see her angry, he would know he has an ability of bringing some kind of an emotions out of her. She turned around and ran out of the house. Stefan had put the glass back on the table, but he had put it there in such anger and fury, that the glass broke under the pressure.

„Look at you two, already fighting like an old married couple" – Stefan could hear Damon's voice. He raised his head and saw him standing on the door.

„Shut up, Damon" – he said angrily and walked past his brother.

Damon grabbed him by the hand. „Stefan, don't let her fall in love with you" – Damon said silently. But Stefan laughed out loud.

„Don't worry brother, I don't think we should fear that happening" – Stefan pulled his hand out of Damon's and walked upstairs.

What Damon really wanted to tell his brother is to not fall in love with her, but he felt like it's too late for that, and Stefan doesn't even know it.

**What do you think about Caroline? And about Elena's feelings for Stefan? Is Stefan overreacting, or does he have a full right to be hurt?**


	5. Chapter 5

**I see some of you are wondering when will Stefan and Elena get together. Well, since this is their story, they will get together at some point, but when, I don't even know myself. The whole point is that Stefan and Elena are not the same people they were in the beginning of the show. Elena doesn't need him to fill the void, and she's afraid to want him. And that's exactly what she needs to do, to want him. And Stefan needs to be honest with her about his past, but he's afraid of being honest until she trusts him completely because he thinks he will lose her. I don't know when will they actually be together, but that doesn't mean that won't have fun in the process ;)**

**I hope you'll like this chapter and be sure to leave your reviews :)**

Stefan was laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He was in that same position for the past hour. Mystic Falls was starting to bore him, there wasn't anything to do. He usually loved small towns. He loved silence, and friendly people, and all the festivities going around. Damon loved big towns, and parties, and girls in bathing suits. It was hard enough to convince Damon to come home, so he knew Damon would flip if Stefan told him he's bored, since he insisted in coming back. Plus, Damon wasn't bored. His obsession with Bonnie was entertaining him. That was something Stefan couldn't understand. Why would Damon spend so much time trying to charm a girl that is a witch, a girl he could never have for the same reason? Witches hate vampires, although he was never completely sure why. He knew that some vampires used, and still do, witches as their slaves, but it's not like every vampire does it. Neither him or Damon ever thought about doing such a thing to anyone, nevertheless a witch. Assuming every vampire will use a witch as a slave, is like assuming every person will buy a gun and start killing people on the subway just because one person did. But he knew one thing, he's not getting in the middle of it.

Maybe Mystic Fall is a problem, he thought. Maybe this is not a home anymore. Sure, it's a town where he was born and raised, and where he died. But that was a long time ago. Maybe it's time to find a new home. He had a feeling something is pulling him back to that place no matter where he goes, and he didn't like that. He didn't like something else being in control over him.

He kept laying on the bed and staring at the wooden ceiling as he crumbled the bedsheets with his fingers. He wasn't only bored. He was nervous, irritated, annoyed, regretful.. guilty. And he knew the source of his problems. Elena. That tall, skinny girl with the biggest brown eyes he had ever seen. With her soft skin and long brown hair that was falling all over her back like a veil. She had fire in her eyes, and she seemed as solid as a rock. Like nothing can hurt her. She was fierce, and smart, and she had a big tongue. She knew to punch where it hurts, especially with words. But she had a sweet voice, voice that made her feel lost and helpless. A girl with an attitude, that was his first thought when he saw her going through the front door that evening in the Grill. And he wanted to make that girl his.

He was thinking about how stupid he is. For letting himself feel something for her in the first place. He's not the one to fall in love. He doesn't even want to love someone, or even to be loved. He's been there, done that. It's not worth it. Worth of what, Damon used to ask. Pain. Regret. Mistakes. Letting go and saying goodbye. He didn't understand why Damon didn't believe him when he said he will never fall in love again. It's not like Damon is taking a train to Loveville himself. But when he was alone, and when he could be completely honest with himself, when he was sure no one can hear him, he would admit to himself that he wants to have that someone in his life. Someone to love and to love him. But he doesn't want to love Elena, because eventually, he would have to leave her. She would grow old, she would want to start a family, she would want to live her life – and he is stuck at the age of 17 forever. But although what he feels for Elena is far from love, he still feels something. It's not love, but it's something more than physical attraction. It something.. unexplainable.

„Fuck it" – Stefan said and jumped from the bed on his feet. He grabbed the jacket from his chair and went downstairs. He knew there is a 50% chance he will regret this. But he also knew there is 50% chance he won't.

**xxxx **

Elena was sitting on the sofa in her living room, going through tv channels. There was nothing entertaining on tv, but she had nothing better to do. Jeremy was out with some friends, and Alaric was still in school. She finally stopped changing programs when she found an old episode of the show she used to watch couple of years ago. She grabbed another cookie from the plate and dipped it in the milk. When she finally got comfortable, she heard a doorbell ring. She sighed, got up from the sofa and went to open the front door.

„Stefan" – she whispered in amazement when she saw him standing on her porch. She didn't think she'll see him so soon. Hell, she didn't think she will ever see him.

He had bit his lip and looked at the floor. „You know, I can't come in unless you invite me" – he only raised his eyes and smiled at her.

Elena didn't know what to say. Yesterday he was mad at her, and now he wants to hang out with her? She was still feeling guilty about all the things she had said to him, and she wondered does he feel the same. She kept staring at him, but he kept his head down, and only raised his look every few seconds. When their eyes met, he looked away. She knew Alaric would be pissed if he knew she is thinking about inviting a vampire into the house, but this was Stefan. This was Stefan, she repeated in her head. What did that really mean? She doesn't know him, she doesn't know what he's capable of. She only knows he didn't kill her when he had a chance. He didn't kill anyone, really. She was sure, because since him and Damon came in town, there were no animal attacks reported in the news.

She stepped back from the entrance. „Come in" – she said.

He raised his look , and when he saw a friendly smile curving in the corner of her lips, he made a first step into her home. Nice house, was his first thought. When it came to size, it's nothing compared to the boarding house, but it had something his house didn't. It was full of memories. He was not allowed to keep those, at least not in a material form. Elena had a home, and he had a place to live in.

„Your parents won't mind?" – he asked. He was sure that if she knows about vampires, they must know too. And that they would not approve of her asking one into their home.

„They're not here" – she frowned and lowered her head down.

„Oh, and where are they?" – he sounded like a curious child.

„Dead" – she said and raised her look. And there it was, everything he failed to see before. When he met her, he thought she is numb to pain. That she is fearless. That she is not afraid to die for the right cause. That she is not afraid to die at all. But now, all the he could see in her eyes was fear, and pain. Fear of losing people, and pain caused by that fear. And he asked himself is this the real Elena? Or is she somewhere in the middle?

„I'm so sorry" – and he was. He knew how it is to lose people you care about. He's been losing people for past 160 years. „With who do you live now?"

„Alaric. He used to date my aunt, but she also died" – she remembered finding Jenna on front porch, with her neck ripped, and with her body bathed in her own blood.

Stefan stepped inside the living room and Elena followed him.

„Alaric? The history teacher?" – he made a confused face. Elena nodded. „Yeah, because that's not creepy at all" – he tried to cheer her up.

She smiled at him, but that didn't last too long. Smile faded away from her face quickly. „Him and my brother are the only family that I have."

Stefan could understand that. For the first time he knew how she felt. Damon is the only family he has too.

„Elena.." – he said softly while keeping his look on the sofa. „I'm sorry for yesterday. What I said.. I didn't mean it" – he said quietly, almost whispering. Like he's talking to himself, like he doesn't want anyone else to hear him. He lowered his head and looked at the floor. For a moment there, Elena was surprised that he would apologize to her. A part of her thought he has nothing to apologize for. Her behavior is what led them to this situation.

„No, Stefan.." – she said with the same whispery voice as him. „I'm the one that should apologize" – and for the first time, she made a step closer to him. And for the first time, she didn't feel awkward at all. She wanted to be close to him. She wanted to feel him close to her, and for a moment there, she wanted to hug him, only so she can feel his body pressing next to hers. And that scared her. She was scared of how he made her feel, and she felt irritated because of that. Of being scared of her own feelings. „I know you can love" – she finally said, this time raising her voice.

This made him raise his look and look her right in the eyes. „What made you change your mind?" – he asked.

She sighed. „My friend, Caroline, she's a vampire. For a month now" – he saw how uncomfortable she is, and he wanted to comfort her. But he was afraid of touching her. He was afraid of her reaction to his touch. He was afraid of how she might make him feel. „We were out one night, haunting. Caroline, Bonnie and me. We were in the woods, and we had split up" – Elena sat on the sofa and Stefan sat next to her. He noticed that she started shaking. „I was so stupid, letting her go by herself. Bonnie had her magic, and I was training, but Caroline didn't know how to defend herself. Few minutes after we split, we heard her screaming. Both Bonnie and me hurried in her direction, but it was too late. We thought she's dead, but then we saw blood on her lips. Soon, she woke up, and then we realized she turned" – Elena trembled and her voice was getting quieter and quieter as she spoke. Stefan didn't know what to do. He wanted to put his hand on hers, but he didn't know is that okay with her. Maybe it's a step too far, maybe it's not the right time. „We brought her home, and we had to explain everything to her mom. It's hard to tell someone from the Founding families that their daughter has been turned into a vampire. But thank God, she reacted like a mother, and she did everything in her power to protect Caroline. We helped too. And Caroline helped me realized, helped us realize, that vampires are not evil as they taught us. She never asked to be a vampire, it simply happened to her. But she never stopped loving us, she never stopped caring for us. And I have a feeling like she didn't die, but grew up, because now, she's more compassionate, and she takes things more seriously. She's still the same old Caroline, perky and happy and she loves to shop, but in the same time, she's that much different. And now, every time I kill a vampire, or someone else does, I wonder do they have someone who loves them, or do they have someone to love. Do they have family, or friends, or some kind of a life. I wonder what if they're like Caroline, what if they don't kill people, and we still kill them? Because I know how I would feel if Caroline never came home" – tears started rolling down her face. She tried to stop them with her fingers, but she wasn't successful in that. With every tear she wiped, two new tears appeared on her face.

„Elena, it's not your fault" – Stefan told her. He couldn't stand seeing her like that, blaming herself for something she didn't have control over. Some things just happen, without a reason, without an explanation. Bad things, good things, it doesn't matter. The thing is, half of things that happen in our lives we do not have control over. He couldn't stand seeing her living with that kind of burden on her shoulders. He brought his hand closer to her head, and in one moment, he stopped. He wanted to see will she back down. But she didn't. She was simply sitting there, looking at his hand that was in the close distance of her face. Then she had put two of his fingers on her cheek and wiped the tears off.

„Of course it's my fault, it's always my fault" – she said with a tired voice and fell on his chest. She asked herself what the hell is she doing? One part of her did that as a reflex, she was sad and she was looking for comfort. But the other part of her did that on purpose. She knew exactly on who's chest she's falling too. And she needed that, she needed to be near him, she needed to be close to him. She wanted to. He had put his hands on her head and pulled his fingers through her hair. That felt nice. That felt more than nice. She could feel something flowing through her every time he touched her. He wanted to comfort her, and she was successful in doing that.

„Some things that happen in your life, you won't have control over them. You may or may not like that they happened, but you won't be able to do anything about it except accept them. What happened to your friend is horrible, but it's not your fault" – he kept pulling fingers through her hair like it's something he usually does. He was holding her by her shoulder with the other hand, like he was pulling her closer to him. Her head was laying on his chest, but his words could not stop her tears. „I made my brother turn" – he blurted out, and her sobs stopped but she didn't raise her head from his chest. „We didn't finish our transformation, we didn't drink human blood. We decided to die. But me, I was always weak on blood" – his voice became heavy on that last part. That was a story he wasn't ready to tell her now, she would never trust him if she knew now. „So I finished transformation without him knowing. And then I made him do the same. I did it out of selfish reasons. I didn't want to be alone, I didn't want to live without my brother. I needed him, and by doing what I did, I only lost him" – Stefan didn't know why he was telling her all of this. He was sure she doesn't even want to know, and a day ago, telling her something like that was the last thing on his mind. But he needed her to know she's not the only one feeling responsible for taking someone's life. He needed her to know that some things happen, and that we regret them later. But we can't take them back, we have to learn how to live with them.

„Damon said you two weren't always close" – Elena remembered.

„Yeah. He forgave me eventually. It took him a century, more or less, but he forgave me" – Stefan smiled.

Elena raised her head from his chest and smiled back at him. She wiped remaining tears of her face. „I want you to help me practice" – she said seriously.

„You do?" – he was surprised.

„Yes, the sooner the better."

„Hmmm" – Stefan smiled widely. „So I'm going to see you in those shorts after all" – he smirked at her.

Elena laughed out loud, grabbed a pillow that was behind her and hit him with it. „Oh shut up" – she told him through laughter.

For a moment she forgot he's more than a century older than her, that he acts like an ass sometimes and that she didn't like him that much in the beginning. In that moment, she actually enjoyed his company.

**How do you like this side of Elena, that is more vulnerable? And how about Stefan confessing himself he feels something more than physical attraction?**


	6. Chapter 6

**I hope you guys will like this chapter since I had fun writing it.**

„Look who finally decided to come to school" – Elena said happily when she saw Stefan walking down the hallway. Bonnie and Caroline were right behind her, giggling at the fact how much her face had lighten up when she saw Stefan. Smile curved up in the corner of his lips, smile he could not hide, so he lowered his head down. He was wearing old washed up trousers with tall, black boots and dark blue shirt that was perfectly showing his strong torso. Elena kept thinking about how amazing he looks. She could not forget how perfectly her head fell on his chest few weeks ago when he had visited her.

„Actually, I only came here to watch cheerleaders practice" – he winked at her. There was something about his eyes, something that made her stare at them until it became awkward. They were so light, like a green grass in the early spring, which made him look young and refreshing. But in the same time they looked mysterious, like he's hiding something. And as much as they made him look young and innocent, they made him look old. They looked like eyes that have seen a lot of things, both good and bad.

„You disgust me" – she said through laughter and rolled her eyes. Bonnie remembered the last time she said that to him, right here in this hallway. She sounded like she meant it. Like she meant every word that came out from her mouth. Bonnie knew Stefan had a hold of her, but at the time, she also knew Elena would never go near him. Now, she wasn't so sure anymore. Her words were lacking tone that implied seriousness now. She sounded like she's talking with an old friend, making a casual joke. She acted normal around Stefan. Natural. She was being herself.

„I still don't understand why you don't join them, you have amazing legs" – Stefan started checking her out, from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet. But he lowered his look and kept it on her legs. She was wearing a red polka dot shirt that was barely touching her knees. He stared at them for few seconds, but then he raised his look to catch her eyes. „If you hopped around the school in that outfit, I'd be here more often, that's for sure" – he smirked at her. She bit her lower lip and a smile appeared on her face. She liked when he gave her compliments. She enjoyed them. They made her feel special, wanted, desirable. For a moment there, Bonnie couldn't believe how openly they were flirting with each other in front of her. In front of all these people, actually.

„I don't believe you met my friend Caroline" – Elena finally formed a sentence and stepped aside for Stefan to see Caroline that was still giggling behind her.

„It's a pleasure to meet you" – Caroline stretched out her hand for Stefan to shake it. But instead he took her hand into his, lowered his head and kissed the top of her fingers.

„Pleasure is all mine" – he smiled at her, which made Caroline giggle even more.

„You're coming today, right?" – Stefan turned his head back to Elena. She and Stefan were practicing at his place for few weeks now. She was actually doing really well, although he wouldn't admit it. He thought if he told her she's getting better, she would get big headed and stop trying. But Elena wasn't surprised with how well she was doing, she was surprised with how comfortable she felt in Stefan's company. How lightheaded he made her feel. She was surprised by the fact how much she laughed in his presence, and sometimes she caught herself smiling like an idiot hours after she came home from his place. She didn't mind the fact there was some touching involved, either.

She simply nodded her head to answer his question.

„Good, I'll see you in few hours then" – he had put his hand on the top of her shoulder and slowly pulled his fingers all over the length of her arm. That made her feel tingly inside. That made her heart race. His touch on her bare skin sent shivers all over her body, and she had a feeling like her temperature is rising up. Both Bonnie and Caroline were surprised by the fact how soft his touch was. He looked like he's caressing her. It wasn't a friendly tap on the shoulder, or see you later awkward fist bump. It was a gentle, soft, touch that looked like it's happening in slow motion. Goosebumps appeared on her skin, on the places where his fingers once connected with her skin. When he reached the top of her fingers with his, he pulled his hand back and waved to them. He started walking away when in one moment, he turned around. „And oh, Bonnie, Damon sends his regards" – he smiled at her, turned around and kept walking to the front door. Wave of blush came to Bonnie's cheeks, and although she did everything in her power to hide it, both Elena and Caroline had noticed it. Caroline bumped her shoulder into Elena's, but neither of them said a word to Bonnie.

„God, he's hot" – Caroline announced when the front doors closed after Stefan.

„You should see him without his shirt" – Elena said through laugh. That sentence made both Caroline and Bonnie turn around and look at her with their eyes wide open, with a confused and shocked look on their faces.

„Excuse me? And when did you have a chance to see him shirtless?" – Caroline asked while poking her friend in her hand.

Elena started blushing. Until now, no one has teased her about Stefan. No one even openly brought up the subject that something might going on between them. Part of her couldn't believe Caroline would even think she would be with Stefan, and the other part of her felt ashamed because the idea of being with him popped up in her head few times.

„When we practice, he does it shirtless" – Elena responded quietly.

„With me, other parts of his clothes would be missing too" – Caroline smiled while looking at the direction where Stefan went.

And uncomfortable expression appeared on Elena's face, something that Bonnie had noticed and was surprised with. She never thought about the fact that someone else might want Stefan. She was so occupied by the fact he seemed to be into her, that she ignored a fact he's actually a good looking guy, and that there are plenty of girls who would want him. And there are probably plenty of girls he would want too, girls who were much prettier and sexier and more experienced than her. Girls like Caroline. Little wave of jealousy came rushing down through her. But she realized Stefan and Caroline would actually be a perfect pair. They complemented each other very well, from the outside as well as on the inside. Stefan could take care of Caroline, and that way, neither of them would have to be alone. Caroline would have someone who would love her once all of them are gone, considering not all of them are going to live for an eternity like Caroline will. She is more suitable for Stefan than Elena will ever be. Not that she wants to be.

„Guys, I think we have eyes on us" – Bonnie said and pointed with her big brown eyes in the direction where Matt Donovan was standing. He was standing in front of his locker, watching at three of them with a judgmental look in his eyes. Matt wasn't in one of the Founding families, but he knew the truth about vampires. Elena thought she owes it to him, that she owes him at least that much. Plus, she thought he needs to know the truth after his sister Vicki was killed by one of the vampires. After her death, Matt developed such a strong hate towards vampires, that in some occasions Elena thought his hate is even bigger than Bonnie's. Matt and Elena didn't talk much since she broke up with him. They were on speaking terms, but he tried to avoid getting into serious discussions with her. She knew why he was giving them the eye. He knew Stefan is a vampire, and he probably wondered why he still doesn't have a stake pulled through his heart. Elena flirting with a vampire, well that probably pushed him over the edge. He kept his eyes on Elena, but then he moved them to Caroline. Matt and Caroline were never close. He thought she's self centered and spoiled, and she thought he's too boring for her company. But they were friends, and she knew that he hates her now. It was written all over his face. And that had hurt her. Matt lowered his look, slammed the doors of his locker and walked away without even greeting them.

Elena felt guilty, and she blamed herself for losing him. Because she missed her friend. They knew each other since they were in diapers, and there were times when she could tell him everything. But as soon as Matt disappeared around the corner, she remembered she'll see Stefan in few hours. And everything else disappeared too.

**xxxx**

When Elena arrived to Stefan's house, he was patiently waiting for her in the living room. Damon was gone, Stefan made sure of that. He made sure Damon is out of the house whenever Elena came to practice with him. Elena didn't know why Stefan insisted in that, but Damon wasn't complaining either. He looked like he would much rather be somewhere else.

„And bam, you're dead" – Stefan shouted when he rolled her over and pulled her closer to him. In one moment she could hear his face vamping out, and she wanted to turn around to see him in his vampire form, since the last and only time he vamped out in front of her, she kept her eyes closed. But he didn't let her turn around, he kept her firmly in his grip. Elena tried to stake him, multiple times. For practice, of course. But he blocked her hand every time. She simply couldn't find a way around his reflexes, and she wasn't fast enough to put a stake through his heart. But this was the first time he pulled her over to him, just like the night they first met. And just like that night, her heart started pounding wildly. But this time not out of fear, but out of excitement. She wasn't facing him, her back were against his chest. She couldn't see his face expression or what kind of movement he had planned for her next, and that made the whole thing a lot more exciting. There was a small gap between her back and his chest, so she slowly pulled herself closer to him so she could feel the firmness of his body on her skin. She tried to relax her body, but she couldn't. She kept standing in front of him, firm as a brick, while her arms were lingering on the both sides of her body. She was holding a wooden stake firmly in her right hand. Stefan pulled his fingers gently across her arm again, leaving goosebumps after his touch. That made her drop the stake on the ground. She could feel his warm breath on the back of her neck, and when he reached the top of her fingers she thought he's going to pull them back up. But he didn't. He kept lowering them, and soon he was touching her leg. When she felt his touch on her bare skin on such a sensitive place of her body, she started trembling. Her stomach tightened, but she didn't stop him. In contrary, she closed her eyes and fell on his chest. Soon enough, her whole body relaxed. He kept pulling his fingers on her leg as long as his arm was. When he reached that one spot above her knee, and when he couldn't go any lower, he started pulling his fingers back up. All over her leg, and then across her butt. She didn't understand why did she let him do that to her, why did she let him touch her in all of those places. She had never let another boy touch her like her, especially not someone she wasn't in a relationship with. But he made her feel so good. She felt like she's being compelled by him, but she knew she wasn't. This was all her, although it felt like someone else is controlling her body for her. With Stefan, she wasn't herself. Or maybe, she finally was. Maybe he woke up one part of her she didn't even know existed in her. He reached her hips and placed his hands there. „Maybe we should take a break" – he whispered in her ear. That made her open her eyes. He disattached himself from her, walked over to the small table by the sofa, grabbed a bottle of water and threw it in her direction. „You're getting better" – he said.

She opened the bottle and took few sips of water from it. „Is that a compliment?" – she giggled and skipped into his direction. Her long hair was tied in a pony tail, so it moved back and forth as she skipped across the room. She was wearing her baby pink shorts. It was her way of teasing him.

„You're an easy person to compliment. You're perfect" – he blurted out after taking few sips of water from his own bottle. When he realized what he had said, he lowered his head in embarrassment. He had no idea what came over him to say that.

„I'm far from being perfect, Stefan" – she said quietly. She liked him complementing her, but to use the word perfect when referring to her was a little bit too much. She was weak, impatient, rude, sarcastic and many more things that separated her from being perfect. He raised his head and saw an uncomfortable expression on her face. She had put her hand on her hip and lowered the top of her shorts a little. „See this" – she pointed to the big scar on her hip. It looked like a think crack that went all over her hip. „When I was 12, I was riding my bike. I had headphones in my ears, so I didn't hear the car approaching behind me. Soon enough, I found myself laying on the ground, with my legs tangled around my bike. That's the last thing I remember before waking up in the hospital four days after" – she had put her shorts back in the place and raised her look only to catch him staring at her. Their eyes met, and he thought how this is the most vulnerable state he had ever seen her in. Not when she was crying on his chest because she couldn't help a friend, but when she was being honest about how she feels about herself. He couldn't believe that someone as beautiful as her can be so insecure, and he couldn't believe he hadn't noticed that before. "I'm far from being perfect Stefan, and this scar is a small reminder of that fact."

When the tension between them became awkward, he smiled at her. „Still, you're closer to perfection than anyone else I know." She could live with that, so she smiled back at him. „Anyway, how did you start practicing in the first place?" – he asked while walking closer to her.

She grinned. „That's what being part of a Founding family means. One day your parents wake you up and tell you you're surrounded by vampires and you discover your lake house has been used as a training camp for generations" – Stefan could see the expression of Elena's face change from a silly grin to a completely serious at the mention of her parents. She bent down to pick up the stake that fell out from her hand. „Other kids are solving math problems, and you're learning how to put a stake through vampire's heart correctly."

Stefan came closer to her and grabbed a stake from her hand. „You know, I can show you another way to a vampire's heart. One that doesn't involve a stake" – he smirked. He threw it on the sofa and took her hand into his. He started cuddling it with his fingers. She raised her look from their hands, and his eyes met hers halfway. He had put her hand on his chest and started rubbing it over the place where his heart is. In the moment she thanked God he's wearing a shirt. If he wasn't, she would pass out. His touch made her body temperature rise. „There" – he stopped rubbing his chest with her hand at one point. „This is the place where human heart beats the fastest. You know that feeling when you feel like your heart is going to jump out?" – he kept his eyes locked on hers. He tried to make sure her look doesn't slip away from him. She simply nodded. „That feeling is caused by this tiny spot" – he pressed her hand tighter to his chest. When he pulled her hand closer, he pulled her body with it. „It's the strongest part of a human heart. It reacts when you're scared, excited, in pain" – her palm started sweating as he was pressing her hand on his chest. „In love" – he said after a few second pause. „I guess pain and excitement and fear equal love. A young vampire can turn off his emotions. It's an easy way to live, without any kind of feelings. No love, no happiness, but also no regret, no fear. Someone once told me the best part of being a vampire is vampire's ability to love. Vampire's love like there is no tomorrow, because for them, there isn't. Vampires have all the time in the world they need. Do you know what's vampires greatest fear?" – Stefan asked. She shook her head while watching him in the eyes. „To fall in love with a human. Vampires look down on humans. To a vampire, humans are week, and sensitive and a pray. Vampires and humans are like wolves and sheeps. Falling in love with a human would be downgrading. And there's nothing that a vampire fears more than falling in love with a human. Falling in love with someone so innocent, and good, a kind. It would mean falling in love with part of them they said goodbye to long time ago. When a vampire falls in love with a human, their humanity swims on the surface. They become as weak and as vulnarable as humans are. They have a feeling they turned back into humans, which in reality could never happen. And there's nothing a vampire misses more than being a human. And saying goodbye, that's the worst part. When a vampire says goodbye, he's saying goodbye for an eternity" – she kept looking into his lips. They were so soft and moved so gently. When she realized he had stopped talking she had looked him back in the eyes. He squeezed her hand with his, and disattached it from his chest. He stepped away from her and lowered his head. She didn't understand why does he always have to ruin the moment. Why doesn't he just kiss her already? One moment he tells her how perfect she is, and the other he seems disgusted by the possibility of kissing her.

„We should go back to the training, this is probably our last session" – Stefan said while looking at the floor.

„Why?" – she asked confused.

„Damon and I are probably leaving town next week" – he raised his look.

Funny, for a moment there she thought he said he's leaving town, until she realized that's exactly what he said. She didn't know how to react, but she could feel tears coming to her eyes. He had a point, humans are weak, but she already knew that.

„I have to go" – she grabbed her bag from the sofa and started walking to the front door.

„Elena!" – he screamed after her, but she didn't turn around. She kept walking. The next thing he heard were the front door slamming shut.

She didn't care about reasons, she didn't even want to hear his explanation. She sat in her car and drove of. If he can turn his back on her, she can do the same to him.

**What do you think about Stefan and Elena now? Do you like this vulnerable side of Elena? Will Stefan really leave town?**


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm sorry it took me such a long time to update, I had some school work I needed to deal with first.**

Damon was sitting on the high stool by the bar in the Grill. He was slowly sipping his scotch and eyeflirting with the young waitress behind the bar who didn't have much work since it was 3 in the afternoon. Grill was empty, with few students who dropped by after their classes ended, and two elderly couples having lunch in the back of the room. He drank the last drop of the drink from the glass and hand gestured to the waitress to fill him another one. She had looked him under the eye because this was his 8th glass in the past half of hour, but he didn't have a need to justify himself to her. She poured him another glass of scotch and went back to the kitchen.

„Bonnie" – Damon said before Bonnie made an appearance. She hated when he did that. She hated how he knew she's there before actually seeing her.

„Damon" – she said his name in the same voice he said hers. She pulled out the stool next to him and climbed on it. „Vampires and their senses" – Bonnie said quietly.

Damon smirked. „Yes. And I saw your reflection in the mirror" – Damon pointed to the long mirror across them. Bonnie looked at where his finger was pointing, and saw a witch and a vampire sitting in a bar. Sounds like the beginning of some bad joke, Bonnie thought. But she didn't feel like laughing. She didn't feel like doing anything. She looked at Damon who was still smirking at her, and she had to laugh at him. He had this smile that was so contagious. It was annoying, actually. When her face became serious again, he looked away. He wasn't in the mood for serious.

„So, you're leaving town" – Bonnie kept her head down. She was afraid if she doesn't, he will catch her look and realize this wasn't a casual statement or a conversation starter.

„Yes" – he replied silently while sipping scotch from his glass.

„And I have to hear about it from Elena?" – her voice became more muffled than before. She didn't love Damon. She didn't know does she even like him. He is everything she hates, but in the same time, he is everything she loves. She doesn't know Damon very well. She knows only what he chose to show her. He's not an easy person to dig through. If he doesn't want you to know something, you won't find out. They hung out, from time to time. He stalked her, to be more precise. And after some time, she stop complaining about it. She realized he's not the worst company in the world. And soon enough, he grew on her. He was like one of those annoying little brothers who follow their sisters everywhere. And sisters freak out every time, but if they ever turne around and don't see the little brother behind them, they would miss him. It was the same with her and Damon. She didn't want him around her, but when he wasn't, she had missed him. And she hated vampires. But she didn't hate Damon.

„Come on witchy, it's not like you're going to miss me" – he laughed and poked her hip with his elbow.

That made her raise her look. Her eyes locked with his, and while his were smirking, hers were dead serious. She is going to miss him. In that moment, it had hit her. Bonnie Bennett is going to miss Damon Salvatore. She's going to miss that annoying vampire who was so full of himself. Who always had something to say, and who had to have everything he wished for. She's going to miss bumping into him in the weird places, she's going to miss him stalking her and walking her home, she's going to miss those deep blue eyes that never stopped smiling. She's going to miss everything about him. The good, the bad and the golden middle. When he saw the serious look on her face, his eyes went mellow. She is going to miss him. Well, he's going to miss her too. But he's used to missing people. The next couple of minutes they spent in silence.

„Are you at least going to tell me why are you leaving?" – she asked.

But he didn't say a word. And he wanted to, he wanted to tell her everything. How this place is a one big bad memory. Living nightmare. How he never wanted to come back, but only did for Stefan. How this place is not a home anymore, but past that keeps haunting him and hurting him all over again.

„Fine, Damon" – she jumped of the bar stool when she realized he's not going to answer her question. She kept walking towards the front door, wishing him to come after her. But he didn't. He didn't even make a sound.

Nice move, dickhead, he thought. He took another sip of scotch. Then another one. Then another one. And so on, until his body went numb.

**xxxx**

Stefan was sitting on the edge of his bed, crumbling the sheet with his fingers. It was night, and moon started sneaking into his bedroom through half opened curtains. He's leaving tomorrow morning. Both him and Damon are leaving. Earlier today, Damon got home drunk and angry, which is never a good thing. He wanted to say goodbye to Elena, but he haven't seen her since the day he told her he is leaving. He called her couple of times, but she never returned his calls. He wanted to go over there, but he was pretty sure she would slam a door in his face. He was so annoyed with how stubborn she is. With how fast her tongue works, and how fast she jumps to conclusions. She never listened to what people were trying to tell her, and no one could change her mind once she made a decision. He hated every flaw she had, but in the same time, he loved them all. He loved every imperfection on her mind and body. He loved them as much as he loved things that made her perfect. He fell back on his bed with his arms wide open and enjoyed the silence the boarding house offered him. Until he heard someone climbing the steps to his room. He sat back on the edge of his bed when he saw tall, brown haired girl coming through the door.

„Hey" – Elena said. She was wearing washed up trousers, black Converse and black shirt with red vest over it. But he didn't care about what she was wearing. She could be wearing a potato bag or a ball gown, and he wouldn't see a difference, because either way he would swore she's the most beautiful person he had ever seen. With her big brown eyes and flat hair, little nose and lips that always curved into a smile, even when she had no intention to smile.

„Hey" – Stefan replied while getting up from the bed and walking on the other side of the room.

Elena walked in. „I was never in your room before" – she said while looking around his room. There were bookshelves on the wall, filled with books. A closet, a dresser, writing desk, big bed. It actually looked like a normal room, and she expected something else. Something that is not normal. Something that would tell her she made a big mistake coming there. „Do you leave everything behind every time you leave?" – she asked quietly.

„Yes" – he replied in the same tone. „Memories are all that I have, and they're safest here."

She raised her look from his desk and her eyes locked with his. She couldn't believe how sad he was. She couldn't believe she hadn't notice it before, the pain behind his eyes. She lost so many people in her life, people that meant the world to her. But she still has her friends, and Jeremy, and Alaric. She has a family. Maybe they're not blood related, but they're a family. And Stefan, he keeps losing people all over again. The only person he has is Damon. It's no wonder he's afraid to love, or that he doesn't want to love. It's no wonder he backs down every time they got close, because he can't let himself feel something for her. Feel something for anyone, for that matter. Because he knows that sooner or later, they would have to say goodbye to each other.

Elena lowered her head down, and a long time passed before either of them said anything. „Are you leaving because of me?" – she asked with her head still lowered down. She asked that question so quietly that he barely heard her.

„Why would you think that?" – he asked.

„Am I the one that made you leave?" – she kept holding her head lowered. He didn't know how to respond to that. In a way, she did. What he started feeling for her made him want to leave. What he feels for her is something he hadn't felt in ages. And how she started acting towards him scared him. Like she feels something for him too. And he tried to convince himself it's all in his head, but every move she made towards him proved him otherwise. But he couldn't tell her that. He wanted to tell her why he has to leave. Because of Damon, because of himself, because this house doesn't feel like a home anymore. But he wasn't able to form the words. First time after a long while, he was stunned. „Because I made them leave, too" – she raised her look and Stefan saw her eyes filling with tears. She started walking towards him. „It was my 16th birthday, and apparently, getting drunk with friends was far more interesting than going out with your family like you did every year" – her voice started shaking, and her legs trembled with every new step she made. „So we went to the woods, and I had too much to drink. I called my parents to pick me up, but they never came. 2 hours later, aunt Jenna picked me up and told me what happened. They were in a car crash, and they didn't survive" – she was standing in front of him, and big tears were rolling down her cheek. She felt naked in front of him. She dropped all the masks and all the walls she had build, and showed him the real her. The girl that cries herself to sleep every night. The girl that is afraid to live her life, and the girl who has to kill all the monsters so she would be sure they won't hurt her. And she knew there's a big chance he will hate that girl. „If I went out with them, they would never be on that road, and they would still be alive" – she felt embarrassment because of her loud sobbing. She came one step closer to him, and now he could see his reflection in her teary eyes. „Please don't leave, Stefan. Everybody always leave" – she collapsed on his chest in the same way she did when he first saw her crying. She had put her hands on his chest and crumbled his shirt with the top of her fingers. She clung to him while she was soaking his shirt with her tears. He had put his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. And in that moment, when she felt how good it is to be so close to him, she didn't want to wait anymore. She didn't care about what will happen after, or how will he react to it. She raised her head and removed her hands from his chest, and looked him in the eyes. He looked confused. Soon enough her look fell on his lips, she stood on the tip of her toes, and before she knew it, her lips were touching his. Stefan wasn't the first boy she had kissed. She kissed Matt on several occasions, Jake Peterson under the bleachers, Mike Chambers as a dare on Caroline's birthday party and Dany Reynolds when they were in a relationship for couple of weeks before she started dating Matt. She remembered every one of those kisses, and she was sure she's going to remember this kiss for the rest of her life. Her lips barely touched his, she could feel them scraping next to each other, until her lips finally formed and kissed his. What she felt in the moment when their lips fully touched made her back down. She fell back on her feet and looked him into his wide open eyes. He looked as stunned as she did, but she would give anything to read his mind at this moment. He would do the same. She remembered the talk she had with her mom when she was 13. She had her first kiss with Matt, and it turned out not to be so breathtaking like they were in the movies. Her mom told her not all first kisses are magical, and that she kissed a lot of boys before discovering the real magic. And when she kissed her dad, she had a feeling she found her way back home. That she finally found a place she belongs to. And that's what Elena felt when she kissed Stefan. Like this is where she belongs, like this is where she was supposed to be all along. Her lips fell so comfortably on his that she had a feeling like they're made to do so. Like they're too pieces of a puzzle that fit together perfectly. She kept his eyes on his, but he didn't make a sound. He didn't even move. So she stood on her toes again, cupped his face and brought his lips closer to hers. And this time, she didn't give him a peck on the lips, she kissed him like she wanted to kiss him all along. Passionately. Finally, he had put her hands on her back and pulled her closer to him. And he kissed her back. Kissing Stefan wasn't like kissing Matt, or Jake Peterson, or Mike Chambers or Dany Reynolds. Kissing Stefan was like something she never experienced before. He pulled her even closer to him, and now she was fully attached to his chest. She had a feeling her body temperature is rising again, and delicious shivers went down her spine every time he pulled his hands all over her back. His kisses made her light headed, and soon enough her whole body relaxed and she had a feeling he's holding her in his arms. She didn't want to stop kissing him. And she wouldn't, if air hadn't disappeared from her lungs. She disattached her lips from his and rested her forehead on his. Both of their eyes were closed, but Stefan could sense little smile curving on her lips. She fell back on her feet and put her head on his chest.

„Will you stay?" – she said while wrapping her arms around his waist.

He had put his chin on the top of her head. „Yes" – he pulled his fingers through her hair.

„Can I get glass of water?" – she coughed.

„Sure" – Stefan laughed. „Wait for me here" – he had let her out of his hug and walked out of the room.

He walked down the stairs and headed to the kitchen, when he heard his brother in the living room. The image of him and Elena kissing was still fluttering in his mind. What he feared was going to happen, happened. The only thing he wanted to do is to go upstairs and kiss her over and over and over again. He snapped back to reality and turned to the living room to tell his brother they won't leave now. They can't. He can't.

„Damon" – he said quietly before entering the room. When he came into the room, he saw Damon sitting on the sofa with a glass in his hand, and with Bonnie laying next to him, sleeping. Her head was on Damon's lap, and it was obvious she was crying. Damon didn't look at him, he took a sip of his drink while constantly looking at Bonnie. „We're not leaving" – he said to get his brother's attention.

„I was about to say the same thing" – Damon replied.

But he didn't raise his look, not even once. He kept it on Bonnie. He took another sip of his drink, leaned down, and removed a straight of her hair that was falling over her face.

**Did you like their first kiss? Do you think it happened too fast or was the timing right? What do you think happened between Damon and Bonnie?**


	8. Chapter 8

„How did you end up going over there in the first place?" – Caroline asked confused while going through her closet, looking for her favorite shirt to wear to school. Caroline was never a very tidy person, her clothes were all over the place. Stuffed in her closet, hanging from the chair near the writing desk, on the floor of her bedroom. And yet, she constantly complained how somehow, she always loses things.

„I don't want to talk about it" – Bonnie lowered her head.

„Come on Bonnie" – Elena poked her with her elbow in the hip which made Bonnie squirm on Caroline's bed. „I told you my side of the story, so you can tell us yours" – Elena smiled as soon as she remembered her kiss with Stefan.

Bonnie sighed. She wasn't proud of herself for doing that. She was afraid it made her look weak and desperate. What she was afraid of more, is that she was going against everything she believed in. From the moment she found out she was a witch, she was told vampires are not people. They don't feel simpathy, or regret, or happiness, or love. She was taught vampires can only kill without remorse, destroy everything they touch and hate everything they see. And that confused her from the beginning. If they can hate, how come they can't love? You have to know the one in order to know the other. Wasn't there a thin line between love and hate? Or was there a great wall of China between love and hate? Her confusion was only hightened when Caroline was turned into a vampire. But she found an excuse for her, she knew Caroline her whole life. Who was she to question something her family believed in for such a long time? And then there came Damon. This self centered, obnoxious ass of a vampire. He was everything you would hate in a boy. He was like one of those jocks who think High School is the highlight of their life. But under that rough exterior and cheesy talk, Damon was everything you would want in a boy. And he didn't even have to say a word or make a move, because you could see it in his eyes. If he decided you're worth seeing it.

Bonnie raised her head and looked at Elena. „I don't know what came over me" – she said with a heavy voice. That made Caroline stop going through her closet and sit on the bed next to Bonnie. „When Elena told me they're leaving, I was indiferent. I didn't care much. They were two vampires leaving town, what was bad about that? And as time passed by, I realized that it is a bad thing. Because somewhere along the line, he grew on me" – Bonnie kept looking at Elena because she had a feeling Elena understands how she feels because she went through a similar thing, then she moved her look at Caroline who had tears in her eyes. Caroline was always a sucker for romance. „So I confronted him about it, and he didn't even want to tell my why is he leaving" – both Elena and Caroline noticed how this time Bonnie said he, not them. „And that got me mad. I mean, he keeps stalking me for weeks, and now all of a sudden I don't matter enough to know why is he leaving?" – she raised her voice as her eyes widened. „So I went over there. And I was mad, really mad. I found him sitting in the living room, drinking scotch, like tomorrow nothing is going to be different. And I kept yelling at him, and I said some pretty mean things to him" – Bonnie lowered her head as she remembered all the words that came out from her mouth few nights ago. „And when I stopped, I raised my head to look at him, and he was staring right at me.. and there were tears in his eyes" – she raised her look and caught her friends starting at her, with their mouths wide open. Elena gasped. Damon didn't seem like the type who cried in front of people. He didn't seem like the type who cried at all.

Bonnie remembered the exact moment when her eyes caught a tear rolling down Damon's cheek. His light blue eyes seemed deep as a sea behind the curtain of tears. His thin black hair that made his eyes look more darker than they are was falling over his forehead. His arm was shaking, and so was the glass in his hand. It looked like his body is falling into shock. And he kept staring at her for the whole time, like he was asking for help. Her look went melow and she walked over to him, put her head on his lap and layed next to him on the couch. She remembered that somewhere along the line she dropped few tears, tears she was desperatly trying to hold in, but she couldn't remember the exact time she fell asleep. The thing she could remember is that in that moment Damon looked more human that anyone she has ever met.

„Did you do it?" – Caroline asked after a few minutes of silence. Elena's eyes popped out and she gave Caroline a look full of warning.

„Do what?" – Bonnie asked confused, while her fingers were dancing around each other.

„IT" – Caroline screamed as loud as she could.

Elena had to giggle at how passionate Caroline is being about to whole thing, and Bonnie laughed alongside her.

„No Caroline, we didn't do it" – she gave Caroline a serious look.

„What are you waiting for?" – Caroline was confused. Boy likes a girl. Girl likes a boy. Sex. They're not 12 anymore, there won't be any secret text messages or crushes that last for over a year.

„That won't happen. Ever" – Bonnie kept a serious look on her face, but Elena kept giggling. Caroline frowned.

„Can I take him then?" – Caroline jumped of the bed and went back to digging in her closet.

„Be my guest" – Bonnie laughed. But Elena thought there was a small dose of bitterness in her voice. She also knew Bonnie would think twice before giving Damon away to someone else.

**xxxx**

„Elena, I'm pretty sure it was 1914" – Stefan frowned at Elena who asked him to help her with her History. He didn't understand why since her guardian was a History teacher, but if she wanted to spend time with him, who was he to say no to it.

„Of course you're pretty sure, you lived it" – Elena said with a serious expression on her face. She wasn't good with numbers, and Stefan seemed to have every number in his head.

He grabbed a textbook and hit her on the arm with it, which made her lose her balance and she fell of the bed.

„Ouch" – she said loudly which made Stefan jump from the bed to check up on her. When she saw the worried look in his eyes, she had put her head on the floor and started laughing at how worried he looked. But Stefan didn't find that amusing.

Het bit his lower lip, lowered himself down and reached for her hips. He picked her up, and she screamed. No, it was more like a loud laugh. She was glad they're far away from the town, when no one can hear them, because she was sure her scream could pierce someone's ears. Soon enough, she found herself in his hug. He started tickling her and she begged him to stop. She was too ticklish. When they hit the wall, he had let her go from his hug and she fell back on her own two feet.

She licked her lips and when he bent down to kiss her, she had put her finger between their lips. The corners of her lips curved into a smile, and she shook her head. Disappointment filled his eyes, but he lowered his head down and smiled lightly. They haven't kissed since that night, and he wanted to feel her lips pressing next to his again so badly. He checked her out from head to toe. She was wearing dark jeans, pink flats that made her feet look smaller than they are, and hot pink top that crumbeled on her body when he picked her up. He had put his hands on her hips, and shoved the top of his fingers under her shirt. Her face adopted serious expression before he gently pushed her near the wall. He wasn't going to hurt her, and he wanted her to know that. But he didn't want to tell her, he wanted her to believe in that.

He leaned down. She could feel his breath on her neck, and he was completely distracted with how good she smells for a moment. „You can't even imagine all the things I would do to you" – he said quietly as he squeezed her hips, which made Elena giggle. „It would be the best sex you ever had" – he whispered into her ear.

„It would be the only sex I ever had" – she laughed out loud as she was holding her hands on his.

When those words skipped her lips, she could feel his grip lessen on her hips. He pulled his hands away, no matter how hard she tried to stop him. He pulled his head away from hers, and when she finally caught his look, she could see the confusion in his eyes. He lowered his look so she can't read the thoughts from the look in his eyes. For a moment there, he asked himself what the hell is he doing. She isn't only a sweet, innocent girl, she's innocent in every way a human being can be innocent. And he can't take away from her, not even if they step in some alternate universe where she would let him. He could feel the disappointment rushing down his body when he realized he can't be with her in that way. And he wanted to, desperately. He backed down from her with his head still lowered.

„You know Stefan, just because I didn't have sex doesn't mean I'm innocent" – she walked past him and pulled her finger over his chest. In this moment, he needed her to stop doing things like that.

„You know, for a virgin, you do tease a lot" – he turned around and a smile curved in the corner of his lips.

She looked at him in shock, but her face adopted normal expression soon, so she started walking towards him. Their bodies were only few inches away from each other when she whispered, „Oh, yeah?"

„You know" – he reached for her hands and started cuddling the top of it with his fingers. „Right now, I would satasify myself with a kiss" – he said quietly as her hand relaxed under his touch.

She smirked and got on her toes. When her lips were in a close distance to his, she turned her head and whispered into his ear, „A kiss has to be deserved, Mr. Salvatore."

She hopped back on her feet, started walking towards the bed, sat on it and opened her textbook, leaving Stefan confused as ever. But yet, intrigued.

„How?" – he asked as he started walking towards her.

„I'm sure you'll think of something. Now come here, you have to help me remember all these pointless years" – she tapped a place on the bed across from her for him to sit.

A big, wide smile appeared on his face. He couldn't believe how perfect she is.

**xxxx**

It was a late Friday afternoon when Elena got back home. After school, she want to the mall with Bonnie and Caroline. Caroline was deprived of shopping for a month of her life, so she's making it up to herself now. She planned her whole evening. First she's going to take a long bath, make herself some popcorn and watch gut wrenching dramas until she cries herself to sleep. Yes, normal Friday night of a typical teenager.

She threw bags with clothes she didn't really need, but Caroline made her buy, on the bed and went to the bathroom. She locked herself in so no one can bother her, although there was no one home when she came in. She filled the tub with water and bubbles, tied her hair in a bun, took her clothes of and went it. As soon as she relaxed, she heard her bedroom door opening and someone's footsteps on the floor, but when she yelled „hello", no one responded. She thought it's Jeremy or Alaric checking is she home, so she closed her eyes and leaned back on the tub. But she was too curious about who was in her room, so she got out of the tub, wipped herself of and put her bathrobe on. When she opened the bathroom door, the first thing she saw was a beige box on her bed. She walked towards it and picked up the note left on it.

„Put this on and meet me on your front poorch. I'll be waiting, Stefan" – a wide smile appeared on her face when she read his name on the note. She bit her lower lip and opened the box, only to find a white, lacy dress in it. Elena smiled at the fact how innocent the dress looked, because it reminded her of the dresses she used to wear as a kid. She had put the dress on and looked herself in the mirror. The dress was strapless, and it was see through on the back. It barely touched her knees, and when she twirled, the dress twirled with her. She had realased her hair out of the bun and it fell all over her back, hiding the see through part of the dress. She had put her black flats and skipped downstairs. When she opened the door, Stefan was sitting on the swing on her front porch. When he saw her skipping like a little kid through the front door he thought his jaw is going to fall because she took his breath away. She saw his face expression, so she got on the tip of her toes and twirled for him.

„You look amazing" – he gasped and she skipped next to him.

She giggled. „Well thank you, you don't look so bad yourself" – she winked at him, which made him smile and lower his head down. „But what's this all about?" – she asked.

„It's a surprise" – he reached for her hand and their fingers intertwined. He looked down at their joined hands and he had realized this is the first time he had held her hand. Sure, he touched her hand, he cuddled her fingers with his, but that was more of a play. They were teasing each other. This is the first time he had held her hand, and she squeezed his hand to assure him she's okay with it. He raised his look and smiled at her.

They started walking to the main street where he opened the doors of a little red Porsche to her. It was still day outside, but Elena could see the sun going down.

„Your car looks.." – she stopped talking for a moment as he got the engine running. „Old" – she said after few seconds of thinking.

„Well, I'm old to, remember?" – he had poked her with his elbow. She could see a self satisfying smirk on him as she remembered this is probably a reminder of her calling him old few days ago when he was helping her study. She rolled her eyes and smiled.

The rest of the trip they spent in complete silence, although the driving didn't last longer than 20 minutes. When they finally stopped near the entrance to the woods, he got out of the car and opened the doors for her to come out. No boy ever did that for her. No boy did that for anyone she knew. It felt nice, the way he took care of her. He grabbed her hand again and they started walking into the woods. He turned around and saw a confused look on her face.

„Don't worry, I don't bite" – he squeezed her hand into his and smirked.

Elena willed herself to smile, but she didn't find that amusing at all As they kept walking down the woods in complete silence, Elena asked herself does she trust Stefan. Sure, she trusts him enough to go over to his house to study History with him, but does she trust him enough to walk down the forest, where no one can hear her? Why not, he never gave her a reason not to trust him. But then again, he is a vampire. But what does that really mean? The other day she read how a boy sneaked a gun to his school and killed 10 of his classmates. Is Stefan really that much dangerous than a normal teenage boy?

„We're here" – he finally said.

She snapped herself back to reality and saw a big lake in front of them. The sun was so low now that it looked like the lake is going to swallow it whole. Stefan pulled her by her hand and led her to the blanket that was placed near the water. They both sat down and he reached for the basket that way laying on the blanket.

„A little birdie told me these are your favorite" – he picked up a big white box from the basket and opened it in front of her. When she saw what he is holding in his hands, her eyes glowed. Little blocks of chocolate filled with marzipan. When she was younger, there was a little store on the main street that was selling these, and everyday when her dad picked her up from school, they dropped by that little store to buy chocolate filled with marzipan. When she was about 12, the store closed, and Elena wasn't able to find that exact same chocolates ever again. She reached for one and put it in her mouth.

„Where did you find these?" – she asked with her mouth full.

Stefan laughed. „I may or may not know the family that owned that store" – he said while looking in her eyes. „So Miss Gilbert, I think this earns me one kiss" – he smirked.

Elena laughed out loud. „I'll be the judge of that, Mr Salvatore" – she said while biting her lower lip.

Tease, Stefan thought, but he was willing to play her game. He picked one more chocolate and handed it down to her.

They spent a lot of time talking. Elena made Stefan tell her everything about the past times, how life back then really was. He thought he would be uncomfortable talking about that with her, because he would feel a huge difference between the two of them, but that wasn't the case. There was something different about Elena. Sometimes, he had a feeling she's an old soul trapped inside a young person's body. Like she lived many lives before this one, like she experienced many things, things she's not even aware of, and she reborns herself in a different body when the time comes.

Both of them were caught up in a conversation that neither of them noticed how late it was getting. They both agreed it's time for them to leave, so they picked up a blanket and the basket and started walking towards the car through the woods. Elena was holding Stefan's hand, and this time she didn't have a need to ask herself does she trust him or not. She was sure that she trusts him. When they were near the car, Stefan stopped and looked in another direction.

„What's wrong?" – Elena asked.

„I smell blood" – Stefan said. Elena raised her eyebrow and looked at him confused. He had let go of her hand. „You should wait for me in the car" – Stefan said while giving her a serious look.

She shook her head. „I'm coming with you." She didn't know why she said that. Maybe because she felt more safe with Stefan in the dark forest than alone in a locked car. Stefan wanted to argue with her, but he saw no point in doing so. In the time he got to know Elena, he learned that when she sets her mind on something, no one can convince her otherwise. He grabbed her hand and started leading her through the forest. Soon, they heard sobs. Elena was sure she knew those sobs from somewhere. After few minutes of walking, they reached a clearing and saw a girl's body on the ground. But she wasn't the one who was sobbing. Someone was sitting on the ground, leaned on the tree, sobbing. Yes, Elena knew those sobs, she would recognize them anywhere.

„Caroline?" – she asked.

Sobs stopped, and the forest never seemed quieter.

**So, what do you think about Damon and Bonnie? I want their relationship to be more emotional than physical. And Stefan and Elena? What do you think how will Elena react to Caroline? Be sure to review, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	9. Chapter 9

**I wanted to upload earlier, but after this weeks episode, I really wasn't in the mood to write. I hope everyone survived, and that this chapter will make you a little bit better. Enjoy and please review!**

After Elena said Caroline's name, sobs that were coming from the woman's silouette in the dark near a tree, stopped. Elena raised her head to look at Stefan who was staring in the direction where the person was sitting, and she asked herself does Stefan know is that Caroline or not. Can he smell her, can he recognize her?

„Caroline?" – she asked again, this time louder. The silence was unbearable.

They could see someone standing up and grining their back against a tree. The person started walking again, and only few steps were needed for Elena to recognize Caroline's pale face. There were black veins all around her eyes, and her eye color was much darker than usual. Blood was smudged all over her mouth, and her hair was glued to her face. There was some blood on the ends of her hair, too. She wasn't looking straight at them, but she wasn't looking away either. To Elena it seemed like she's looking through them. There were tears in her eyes and her hands were shaking, although it was so clear she's trying to make them stop. Her jeans were muddy from the ground she was sitting on.

Her eyes wandered to the body on the ground. „Is she.. is she dead?" – Caroline asked while taking a few second break after every spoken word.

Stefan looked down at the body and saw the woman is breathing. „No" – he shook his head.

Caroline raised her head to look at him and her eyes filled with more tears. Sobs started again.

„I'm a monster" – Caroline screamed and fell back on the ground. It looked like her legs have given up on her.

As she said those words, Stefan left Elena standing there alone and hurried over to Caroline. When he left her, she started feeling unprotected all of a sudden. To that moment, she didn't even realize how much strength and confidence was Stefan's presence giving to her while walking through the woods. Stefan fell down on his knees to be on the same level as Caroline was.

„Caroline, you have to calm down" – he was trying to make eye contact with her, but she kept looking at the ground and sobbing loudly.

„No, I'm a murderer" – this sentence she pronaunced more quietly than the previous one. Elena could see that her words left Stefan speechless for a moment, because he looked like he's going to back down, but he gripped himself together.

„Caroline, look at me" – he said softly.

Caroline's sobbings lessened and she raised her head. „My eyes" – she whispered, „Why won't it go away?" – few tears were rolling down her cheek and clearing her skin from the blood around her mouth.

„It's because you can smell the blood" – Stefan had put his hands on her shoulders. „I can teach you how to make it go away, but I need you to calm down first" – he was rubbing her arms with his hands in the sign of a support.

Caroline closed her eyes and nodded. It took her a few minutes to calm down, but soon she stopped shaking. The next time she opened her eyes, her face went back to normal. But as soon as she looked into the direction the woman was laying down, and smelled the blood, the veins on her face appeared again.

„No, no, no" – she started crying when she felt the change in her face.

„Caroline, look at me" – Stefan shook her and made her look him in the eyes. „Look, we're the same now. Maybe I didn't feed on that woman, but if you're a monster, then I'm one too" – he kept talking while Caroline was looking him straight in the eyes. Elena couldn't see his face, but she could see her friend's mascara running down her face and mixing with what's left of the blood around her mouth. She was piercing Stefan with her eyes. „Just breathe. Breathe in, and then breathe out. And keep doing that until you don't feel the need for blood anymore" – he explained to her.

And Caroline did so. They spent few minutes kneeling on the ground across each other, and Stefan kept breathing in and out alongside her until her face went back to normal again. This time, after she opened her eyes, veins didn't reappeared on her face. Caroline fell on his chest and held on to his shirt with her fingers, while he had put his arms around her. She continued crying in his hug.

„I thought you said you dealt with her cravings" – Stefan turned his head around and looked at Elena.

„We did. I thought we did" – she responded.

„You should have known better" – he raised his voice while looking her in the eyes. In that moment, she felt everything but safe. She couldn't believe how patient and sweet he was with Caroline. How he was ready to help someone he didn't really know. She thought again how him and Caroline would make much a better couple, and how those two are right for each other in every way. But now, that thought had hurt her much more than last time. Now, loosing Stefan would be much harder, because..

Because she didn't want to.

Stefan turned his head around and stood up while Caroline was still clinging to his shirt.

„Come on, let's go" – he whispred quietly to Caroline, who was slowly dragging her feet on the ground.

**xxxx**

They took Caroline home and didn't leave until they made sure she's asleep. They also took the woman she bit to the hospital. They were lucky because woman was unconcious to the moment they left her in a hospital, and she hadn't remembered what happened to her when doctor asked her.

Stefan pulled his car over in front of Elena's house. He went outside to open her car door, but she had beat him to it. She wasn't mad at him, she wasn't hurt nor sad. She didn't know how she felt.

They kept walking towards her porch in silence.

„You're right, I should have known" – she said when they climbed on the top of the porch.

„No, Elena, I overreacted. There's no possible way you could have known" – he said while looking at her head that was lowered down.

„Why didn't she tell us? We could have helped her" – she asked quietly.

„I don't know" – Stefan replied in the same tone. „She probably felt like you wouldn't understand or like you wouldn't want to help her. She probably felt lost and alone and confused and there was no one to help her. No one who would understand what she's going through. You were raised to hate vampires. She was raised to hate vampires. She probably felt like what's happening to her is some sort of a punishment" – he lowered his head too.

But Elena raised her head to look him in the eyes because his voice was mellow and hard at the same time. She didn't know how he feels or why he feels like that, and she wanted to see it in his eyes. But he wouldn't let her. It's like he knew she could do that, read every thought he had and every feeling he had, in his eyes.

„Thank you for helping her. Not everyone would do that" – Elena said. She was still waiting for him to raise his head up.

„Not everyone understand what she's going through."

„And you do?"

Her question made Stefan raise his head up and there was only one thing she could see in his eyes – fear. He didn't even have to respond, she knew the answer would be yes. She knew there is something he's not telling her, but not because he doesn't trust her, but because he's afraid of sharing it with her. And while she was thinking about the reasons he doesn't want to tell her the secret he's hiding from her, she surprised herself at how well she got to know Stefan. At how well she can feel everything he feels, and how his thoughts are her thoughts, and she wondered can he do the same with her.

After few minutes, he shook his head.

„You don't have to hide things from me" – she told him with a light smile on her face.

„If you knew, you would hate me" – he said quietly.

She lowered her head to reach for his hand and took it into hers. For the first time she was the one who reached for his hand.

„I won't" – she shook her head. „But if we're going to do this, you have to be honest with me" – she had put her other hand on the top of his and started rubbing it.

„Okay" – he nodded while looking at her hands cuddling his. „When me and Damon turned, we both agreed we're not going to finish the transformation. We both agreed we're going to die" – he voice became hard but she squeezed his hand to show him there is nothing he has to be afraid of. „That night, I went to say goodbye to my father. But he didn't want to see me. He kept calling me a monster, he wouldn't acknowledge me as his son. We got into a fight, and I wasn't even aware of my strength. He started bleeding, and when I smelled the blood, I couldn't control myself. Blood took over me" – he was trying to pull his hand away from hers, he was trying to pull himself away from her, but she wouldn't let him. Soon he gave up, swallowed and continued talking. „I made Damon feed, and he hated me for that. I think he still hates me for that. I hate myself for that. But he knew how to control himself. I, on the other hand, was a mess. I don't know how and when to stop. Damon couldn't take me anymore, so he left, and without him, I was lost" – in that moment he pulled his hand away from hers, and when he was ready to turn around, she had put both of her hands on the back of his neck. He looked her in the eyes, and she cuddled the back of his neck with her fingers. He saw there is no way for him to scare her, to make her leave. Good, he thought. That's what he needed. Someone who won't leave, not even when she meets the part of him he hates. „That's when Lexi found me. She taught me how to control myself. She's my best friend ever since" – he smiled when he said Lexi's name. „But that wasn't enough. I'd last for a decade, then I'd go to my old ways and she would have to knock some sense in me. And we were doing that for a century. Until one day, Damon showed up, and he said that even though he resents me, I'm still his brother and he's going to help me. 'You're not a human, Stefan', he said. 'You're a vampire. And in order to control that part of yourself, you have to accept it. You want blood? Good. That's in your nature. Nature made you to be a predator. But nature never made you a murderer. There are other ways to satisfy your needs'. It took me a while, but I learned. And Damon stayed. We both figured out we're better together hating each other than alone hating each other. Until one day we realized we don't hate each other anymore" – a smiled appeared on his face as he remembered his brother doesn't hate him anymore. Or at least he doesn't hate him as much.

Elena kept her eyes locked on his the whole time he was talking,although his look kept wandering. When he finished talking, she pulled her hands away from his neck. His face adopted a serious expression.

He lowered his head. „I knew you're going to hate me" – he said quietly.

She laughed out loud, which made him raise his head.

„It's going to take a lot more to scare me away" – she said through laughter.

He laughed with her as incredible joy appeared on his face. She kept laughing while lowering her look from his eyes to his lips. She made a step forward.

„You don't have to do it, you know?" – he said when she was in a close distance to him.

„Do what?"

„Kiss me. You don't owe me anything."

„I know that I don't have to kiss you" – she smiled. „I want to" – she bit her lower lip.

Smile curved on the corner of his lips as she took another step forward, got on her toes and locked her lips with his. As soon as he felt her lips pressing on his, he kissed her back. That's all that he needed, one short kiss was enough for him to survive until she decides to kiss him again, even if that's weeks from now. But it wasn't enough for her. She had put both of her hands on his cheeks and cupped his face. She was trying to let him know she's not planning on letting him go. She knew he had kissed a lot of girls, and that kissing her probably wasn't anything special. He probably kissed girls who are much better kissers than she was, and he was with girls who had to offer much more than she did. But she didn't kiss a lot of boys. She hadn't lived as long as he did. Had had put one of his hands on her back and the other one on her hip. He kissed her with so much passion, and he didn't care could anyone see them. He was kissing her, at the moment, she was his, and he didn't care for anything else. Elena knew Stefan kissed a lot of girls, but what she didn't knew is that none of those girls made his lips so hot, and none of those girls made him feels as alive as Elena did.

That girl with an attitude? She turned to be so much more, and he had a feeling he's falling in love with her.

**xxxx**

„Is there anything else we can do for her?" – Bonnie asked while looking through books in the Salvatore's library.

„Well, you can offer yourself as a snack bar" – Damon smirked as he took one of the books from her hand. Bonnie smacked him on the shoulder.

Even though Stefan was doing everything he could to help Caroline control her urges, Bonnie decided to ask Damon is there some other way to help her. She didn't know why she felt an urge to go over there and ask him that since she knew Stefan is doing everything he can, and that he knows very well how to help Caroline. Maybe she missed Damon. He wasn't around much. Not since that night she saw him crying. They haven't talked about that night, either. Damon wasn't too eager to talk about it, and she wasn't going to push it.

„Damon?" – Bonnie whispered his name.

„Yeah?" – Damon replied as he was trying to put the book her took from her in it's place.

„Why do you and Stefan try so hard to convince people you don't know how to love?" – she asked.

Damon had put the book in place and turned his head to look at her. He sighed.

„We have our reasons" – a smile curved in the corner of his lips. Typical Damon, always avoiding the subject.

„Which are?" – Bonnie was persistant.

„Let's say there was a girl who broke us in many ways than one, and that one day, maybe I'll tell you the whole story" – Damon came closer to her.

Bonnie was irritated with his answer. „What do you want from me, Damon?" – she asked when he came so close than she could feel his breath on her face. As soon as she asked that question she knew she will regret it. Damon always makes thing more perverted than they sound.

„If you let me" – he looked into her eyes, raised his hand and placed it on her cheek, „I'll take care of you."

Bonnie didn't expect that kind of an answer. She expected a smirk on his face, not a serious face expression. She felt insulted. He can't be honest with her, but he wants to take care of her? Why does he even think she has to be taken care of? He acted like a little child, he wants what he can't have, and he's not even ready to work to get it.

„Stop screwing around, Damon" – she turned around and his hand fell of her cheek.

He laughed. „Do you like playing this game with me?" – he asked through laughter.

„What game?" – she raised her voice as he turned around to look him in the eyes.

That tone of voice mixed with the fire in her eyes, anyone would be scared of her. But not Damon.

„Where you pretend you don't want me, but whenever I'm not around you secretly wish I was" – he smirked. „The game in which we pretend to hate each other?" – he asked through his teeth.

„But we do hate each other" – she said seriously.

The smirk disappeared from his face. He furrowed his brows and the way he looked at her.. she never saw so much anger and sadness in someone's eyes before.

„Or at least we're supposed to" – she corrected herself. She doesn't hate Damon. And she was sure he doesn't hate her either.

„Why is that?" – the look in his eyes mellowed.

„Witches and vampires hate each other since forever. That's the rule" – she shrugged, although she didn't understand why. But she knew that was one of the rules that should not be broken.

„Well, if you ask me, it's a sucky rule" – his face adopted a puppy look and his deep blue eyes shined at her and he took one step towards her.

He was right, that was a sucky rule.

But she didn't know how to respond to that. The truth was, she was afraid. She was afraid to admit that she feels, that she feels for Damon, for a vampire. She was different than Elena. Elena wasn't binded to a family belief. Or maybe she was. Her family hates vampires as much as the witches do. So if Elena stopped being afraid, why can't she?

Because the truth is, no one ever made Bonnie feel like Damon does. She was sure that she could search the world and she wouldn't find someone who would made her feel as Damon. She wouldn't find someone who could lit up a flame in her as much as Damon does. That fire in her eyes? It burns for him.

He was close to her again. He was trying to catch her look, but she refused to look at him. He reached for her hand and took it into his.

„You know Bonnie, not all rules are good" – he started playing with her fingers. „Some rules are keeping us from having fun. And your brain isn't always right, sometimes you have to listen to your heart" – he finally catched her look, and this time, he's not letting it go. „Sometimes you have to cut that cord that binds your brain to your heart so that your heart can grow a brain of it's own" – he continued playing with her fingers.

Finally, he had let go of her hand and put his hand on her cheek again. And before she knew it, he lowered his head and pressed his lips on hers. And to her surprise, she didn't push him away. To his surprise, she kissed his back.

It wasn't a long kiss, it was a few second peck on the lips.

Damon backed down and smiled. „I thought there is no way you're kissing me" – he remembered her words the first time she stepped in the house.

„Oh shut up" – Bonnie said, smacked him on the shoulder again, threw her hands around his neck and kissed him.

He was surprised for a moment, but soon enough he realized the reality of the situation, put his arms on her back and kissed her back.

Damon didn't kiss like the other boys did.

Damon kissed with his heart.

**What do you say about Stefan/Caroline friendship? And about his realization he may be falling in love with Elena? Thoughts about Bonnie and Damon's first kiss?**


	10. Chapter 10

**Wow, this chapter is really short, it's kind of a filler chapter, but I hope you'll enjoy it :)**

Elena couldn't remember the last time she felt so happy. It was probably before her parents died, before Caroline was turned into a vampire, before Matt started crossing on the other side of the street when he saw her walking in his direction. Or maybe it was before that morning her parents woke her up and decided to tell her about the existence of vampires.

These past few weeks she spent with Stefan were magical. Although they didn't do anything special. He picked her up before school, he held her hand for everyone to see, he remembered her favorite ice cream flavor, the day she told him she thinks she's running down with a cold he brought her soup and snuggled under the blanket with her until she fell asleep, and when they went to movies he made sure popcorns are extra salty. But that's what being around Stefan was like. Just his presence could light up her whole being, and simply being in his company was one of the greatest pleasures life has offered her.

She felt like she was on a cloud nine and there was nothing in this world that could make her want to jump from it.

Telling Alaric she's seeing a vampire was the hard part, though. She wanted to avoid that conversation, but Stefan wanted her to be honest with the people she loves. Alaric wasn't happy about the idea, but he also knew Elena is an adult and that she is capable of making her own decisions and that he can't forbid her from seeing anybody. He also knew Elena is a smart girl and that she wouldn't trust a vampire that is not trustworthy.

As much as being with Stefan was amazing, it was weird. He was a vampire, he was much older than her. She didn't know can she call him her boyfriend, or can she say that they're dating. But she knew that she can call him hers and that she can call herself his, and that was enough for her.

And the best part? She could kiss him whenever she wanted. And she wanted to kiss him all the time.

They were laying on Stefan's bed. She was closly curled up to him, stretching her hand across his chest. He was holding her in his hug, rubbing her arm with his hand, pulling his finger over her bare skin. No one ever touched her like Stefan did. Or at least no one's touch made her feel like his did. She couldn't even describe it to herself, or compare it to anything she ever felt before. And if she tried, she would compare it to the silk falling on her skin, and inside she felt like she's jumping from hot water to cold one every few minutes. Stefan treated her like every man should treat a woman, like people should treat each other, and she didn't expect any less from him. For her, it was more about the way he made her feel. She was sure there is no one other out there who could make her feel like Stefan does. Sometimes she had a feeling he knows her better than she knows herself. He knew all the right words to whisper in her ear, and he knew all the right words to say out loud. When he moved the hair that was falling over her face, it made her feel safer than anything else in the world, because she had a feeling a person who would pay attention on removing her hair only to see her face was a person who would protect her from everything. When she was with him, she was more herself than ever before, and she could feel it.

„Mmm, that feels good" – she murmurred while stretching out her hand as far as she could, then pulling it back and placing it on his chest. Stefan smiled and kept pulling his finger gently over her skin. He leaned his head and placed a kiss on the top of hers.

Wide smile appeared on her face as she lifted her head from his chest and gave him a peck on the lips. Whenever she kissed him gently, whenever she pulled her lips away from his, she wanted more. When she kissed him, she felt such rush going through her body. She wanted be his, and she wanted to give herself to him in every way a person can give herself to another person. Both emotionally and physically. And she knew he doesn't feel the same way, and sometimes, that irritated her.

She thought he doesn't understand what his kisses can do to her, but she couldn't be more wrong. He could've kissed every person in this world, but yet no one's kisses could get him worked up more than Elena's kisses did.

She pulled her head away from his, crumbeled his shirt with her fingers, bit her lower lip and looked him straight in the eyes. She climbed herself on top of him, put both of her hands on his shoulders, leaned down and kissed him. Her upper body was pressing to his strong torso, and she could feel her palms sweating on his shoulders. She could feel his perfectly built body through his thin shirt, as it was pressing to her chest that was pounding wildly. The kiss she gave him, it wasn't a simple peck on the lips, it was a kiss that would make any person light on their feet. She never kissed anyone like that before, she never thought about kissing anyone like that before. She never thought a kiss could contain so much passion and fire as the kisses she was giving him and the kisses he was giving to her in return. Sometimes she thought Stefan is bringing that out of her, her wild side.

While she was kissing him, he had put his hands on the bottom of her back and rolled her over. And he did it without removing his lips from hers. He reached for her hands and intertwined her fingers with his, then pulled them up and pinned above their heads. He disattached his lips from hers and moved down her neck. A vampire near her neck, not a smart idea, Elena managed to form a thought. But this was Stefan, planting kisses on her neck, making her feel like she's in a car chase.

When she felt like taking control again, she had pushed his relaxed body and climbed on the top of it again. She had put both of her hands on his face and lowered her head down to kiss his lips. He had put his hands on her hips, and started to slowly pull them up. Soon, she felt his hands under her shirt. At first, she didn't mind. His touch on her bare skin made her tingly inside, especially when he touched the most sensitive pleaces on her body.

But when he pulled his hands up so high under her shirt, so high that she could feel his touch on her chest, she stopped kissing him and fell on the bed next to him.

„I think we should slow down" – she said while trying to catch her breath.

„Yeah" – he sighed.

He hated when she got him so worked up and then backed down. He hated it because he knew he could never have her, not in the way he wanted to have her. He wanted to make her his, but he knew she would never agree to doing such a thing with a vampire. Good, she shouldn't. She should do it with someone she loves. Trusts. Someone she can start a family with. Someone who can give her all of the things he can't.

She raised her body up and sat on the bed. She circled her knees with her arms and took a deep breath.

„I'm sorry, but I'm not ready. It doesn't feel right" – she said. Sometimes she hated the way he made her feel. She wanted to be with him so much, but in the same time, it scared her.

„Hey" – he sat up on the bed next to her. „You don't have to apologize to me" – he removed the hair from her shoulder and kissed her on it.

She turned her head around to face him. He willed himself to smile, although she could see on his face that he wasn't too happy with her stopping whatever they were doing. He kissed her shoulder once again, then put the thin black string of her shirt that fell of her shoulder back on place.

„Come here" – he said after falling back on the bed.

She turned around only to see him stretch his arm out over the other side of the bed for her to place her head in. And she did. She curled right back into his hug and closed her eyes.

Elena couldn't remember the last time she felt so happy. She also couldn't help herself but wonder how much time she has before that happiness is taken away from her.

**xxxx**

„Stefan says the food can help with my cravings" – Caroline said before picking a french fry from the plate and placing it in her mouth. Elena and Bonnie watched Caroline in amazement, since they haven't seen her eating a french fry since they were 8.

„That explains why Damon drinks all the time" – Bonnie took a sip of her strawberry smoothie.

Elena raised her eyebrow when Bonnie mentioned Damon, but Bonnie hadn't noticed since she was too concentrated on her smoothie going through the straw to her mouth.

„So, what's going on with you and Damon?" – Caroline asked with her mouth full of french fries.

That question made Bonnie raise her head.

„Nothing" – she shook her head as she took another sip of the smoothie. She wasn't ready to tell her friends about the way she feels. She doesn't know what she feels in the first place. She was still in denial about the whole situation. She knew her family would never approve, not like Elena's did. She knew that her Grams would flip and maybe try to kill Damon. The day she and Damon kissed, when she came home Grams asked her why does she feel vampire's presence on her, and she had to make up this whole story about her and Elena trying to kill a vampire. She hated lying to the people she loved, and the fact she had to lie made the thing that much more wrong.

Elena had to giggle at how Bonnie strategically kept avoiding Caroline's questions. Her giggle made Caroline turn her head around and look at Elena.

„What about you" – she leaned over the table to look closly at Elena. „How are things going with Stefan?" – she asked while taking a sip of Elena's drink.

„It's perfect" – Elena crossed her arms and pulled a wide smile over her face.

„Did you do it?" – Caroline was straight forward about the subject.

Elena knew Caroline was like that, but she never thought she would ask her that kind of a question in a fast food restuarant in the middle of the mall. Her eyes popped out before she lowered her head down.

„I'll take that as a no" – Caroline said through laughter. „What are you wating for, though? Don't you think it's time for you to lose your V card? I doubt Stefan will wait forever."

Elena knew that. She knew that she's only leading him on. Every day they're one step closer to making the deed, but she backs down every single time. When she thinks about being intimate with him, she becomes afraid. No matter how much she wants to give herself to him, her body freezes and her head gets filled with thoughts. Honestly, she was surprised Stefan didn't end things with her by now. She was sure sex was a vital part of every relationship he had.

„Stefan doesn't strike me as that kind of a guy, Caroline. From the way Damon talks about him, sex is the least important thing for him" – Bonnie said while grabbing Elena's hand for support.

It is, Elena thought? Why does Damon talk to Bonnie about Stefan? She and Stefan rarely talk about Damon. And how come Bonnie knows more about her boyfriend than she does? All this time she was afraid Stefan is going to leave if she doesn't decide to sleep with him soon. In that moment it had hit her how stupid she is being. How could she ever think so low of him?

„He wouldn't hurt Elena like that, not after Katherine" – Bonnie took the last sip of her drink.

„Katherine?" – both Elena and Caroline asked at the same time.

„Yeah, the girl Stefan and Damon were.." – Bonnie stopped in the middle of the sentence when she saw the confusion on Elena's face. „Stefan didn't tell you about Katherine?"

„No" – Elena shook her head. „What about her?" – she asked, and she was eager to know the answer.

Bonnie furrowed her brows. „Stefan should be the one to tell you about her."

**So, do you think Elena's doubts about sleeping with Stefan are justified? And will Stefan tell her about Katherine? Will Elena ask him in the first place?**


	11. Chapter 11

**I really felt like it's time to bring Bonnie and Damon on the next level, and I had to write Stefan and Elena like this to clear them for everything that might happen in the next chapters ;)**

Bonnie had put her head on Damon's bare chest. Her thick brown hair scattered all over his chest, and tingly feeling had spread all over his skin.

It was a bright Sunday morning, few minutes past 8am, and the sun was showering their intertwined bodies under brown sheets with it's beams. Bonnie had put her hand on Damon's chest, near her head, scratched it gently with her fingernails while closing her eyes. She wasn't trying to go back to sleep, she was simply capturing the moment, taking it all in. When he felt her fingernails going deeper in his skin, smile appeared on his face, because memories from last night came rushing down on him like avalanche. And those were the memories he would like to keep. He moved her hair to see her face, then he had put his hand on her back and removed the sheet that was convering her. He bent down and started kissing her shoulders, while gently pulling his fingers over her back.

„Mmmm" – she moaned in pleasure. She stretched out her hand and put it under his back, turned her head and kissed his chest. She started planting kisses on it, going up until she reached his lips. She gave him a peck and fell back on his chest.

„Oh come on, don't stop now" – Damon said while gently scratching her back, making her shudder from pleasure of his touch.

Bonnie laughed out loud while trying to find a comfortable position for her head on his strong chest. She didn't know what came over her, the first time she slept with Damon. That's not something she usually did. That's not something Bonnie Bennett, the witch would do. But it's something Bonnie Bennett, a teenage girl wanted to do. One night, they were making out, something they often did. And all of a sudden, she felt a certain kind of rush going through her body. When he lowered his head and kissed her neck for the first time, she was sure that her body temperature was higher than normal. She was used to Damon making her feel something she never felt before, but this was something different. The way she felt when her body was pressing next to his, when his soft lips were on her neck, when he held his hands tightly on her hips and when they were kissing so passionately that she could feel his fangs on the top of her tongue, was unearthly feeling. It was out of this world. She separated her lips from his and unbottoned his shirt. She could remember the confused look on his face and the glow in his eyes once he had realized the reality of the situation. She could remember being scared but in the same time the need to be with him. Soon enough, all of the thoughts from her head disappeared, and she had let herself enjoy the moment she was in. And she wanted to be stuck in that moment forever.

„Damon?" – she whispered his name.

„Yeah" – she could hear his voice before feeling his lips on the top of her head.

„Do you mind keeping this a secret a little while longer?" – she asked so quietly, like she's ashamed of what she's asking from him to do.

Bonnie wasn't ready to tell her friends, and she certainly wasn't ready to tell her family. Right now, her Grams thinks she's having a sleepover at Elena's. While Elena thinks she's with her had, and so does Caroline. And she felt guilty for asking such a thing from Damon, because she wasn't ashamed of him. She wasn't ashamed of being with him or feeling for him, but she was scared. She was scared that other people won't understand.

„Sure" – Damon smiled while pulling his fingers through her hair. Sometimes he was tired of playing games. Of hiding like he's doing something wrong. And while sneaking around gave him some sort of a pleasure, it also made him feel uncomfortable. But she was the only one he would play these games for. She was the only one for who he would act like a teenager all over again, if he had to.

„Thank you" – she said while reaching for his hand.

She didn't know what came over her when she decided to sleep with Damon, but with him, she found out why they call it making love.

**xxxx**

Elena was carefully watching Stefan while he was laying on her bed, trying to help her with her math homework. That was one of the advantages of having a vampire for a boyfriend, he had more than 100 years to figure out math. She was laying across him, with a pillow under her head, watching him write and cross, write and erease, while his forehead wrinkeled when he did something wrong.

It's been a week since Bonnie mentioned Katherine, and Elena didn't say a single word to Stefan about it. She wanted to ask him, but she couldn't find the right time, or the right words, or the right place. She didn't know how would he react to her question about her, and she didn't know does she want to find out who Katherine is. But she wondered was she his first love, true love, great love, did she break his heart or did he broke hers, was she just a friend or something more, and where is she now. She wanted to know everything, but in the same time, she wanted to know nothing.

„Who's Katherine" – she finally blurted out.

When she mentioned her name, pen fell out of Stefan's hand and he slowly raised his head. He looked her in the eyes, and she could see the confusion and fear in his eyes. From his reaction, Elena knew Katherine was important to him. Maybe she still is. Maybe he's still desperately in love with her and what he has with her.. is a distraction.

„Where did you hear that name?" – Stefan's face became serious as he got up, turned his back to her and sat on the edge of the bed.

„Bonnie told me Damon mentioned her" – Elena followed Stefan and sat on the bed next to him. „But she told me to ask you about her, she wouldn't tell me anything" – she shook her head although Stefan wasn't looking at her. His eyes were piercing through her bedroom wall.

Elena couldn't tell all the feelings that possessed her body, but she knew that the biggest one of them was fear. Fear of who Katherine is and what she means to him. Or what she meant to him. Fear that he hadn't burried the past, and that she's still lingering over him. Fear that she had hurt him so badly and that because of her he won't be able to love anyone else. Fear of losing him. She could remember the time when she couldn't stand him. When she wanted him to go away. She remembered how she felt the night she met him, and day after that, and week after that. And now, she was sitting in her room, with tears grouping in her eyes, because she was too afraid of losing him. She slowly raised her hand and put it on his back, but he didn't move. They were sitting there for few minutes, until he turned his head to look at her.

„Katherine turned me" – his lips moved slowly, and told her with a quiet voice. „She turned both of us" – he turned his head back and started staring at the wall again. He got up from the bed and started walking around the bedroom. „You sure you want to know?"

„No" – she shook her head. „But I have to" – she stretched her hand out and reached for his. „I need you to be honest with me, Stefan" – she said with a teary voice.

He furrowed his brows before his face relaxed and he sat back on the bed next to her. She was still holding his hand.

„When we met Katherine, we didn't know she's a vampire. We didn't know that vampires exist in the first place. There was a war in the country, and my father welcomed her to our house after she lost her parents. After she said she lost her parents. She was only 16, and orphan. I was a year older than her and I.. she was so different. Different than all of the other girls I've known back then. She was free, and careless.." – Stefan stopped talking when he realized he took it too far. He was careful not to talk much about Katherine so Elena wouldn't think he still has feelings for her.

„You were in love with her?" – she squeezed his hand with hers to let him know he can be honest with her. That she can take it. And in reality, she didn't think she can.

Stefan turned his head around to look at her. „Yes" – he nodded. „I was. And then, I regreted ever falling in love, and I promised myself I won't ever do it again. And I kept that promise. Because as much as love can make you feel like you're in seventh heaven, it can also harm you."

Elena lowered her head and pulled her hand from his. „Then what happened?" – she asked, refusing to look him in the eyes.

„I kept seeing her in secret, behind everyone's backs. And then, I found out Damon was doing the same thing. But that was the thing with Katherine. What Katherine wants, Katherine gets. I remember her compelling me in the beginning, but after some time, that was unnecessary. After me and Damon turned, she was gone" – Stefan was trying to catch Elena's look, but he was not successful in doing so. „Damon tried to look for her over the years, but he couldn't find her."

„And you?" – Elena asked, trying to turn her head away from him as far as possible.

„I didn't want to see her. I don't want to see her" – Stefan shook his head.

Few minutes passed since either of them said a word, but Elena was refusing to look at him. He was trying to hold her hand, but she pulled it away every single time. He knew this was a lot to take in, but he wanted to help her understand.

After few minutes of silence she turned her head around to face him. Tears were rolling down her face, and her eyes were read. She had a desperate expression on her face, and he could see she was trying to form a sentence, but she couldn't.

„Do you still love her" – she finally asked.

„No" – he didn't even have to give it a second thought. Times when he loved Katherine passed long time ago, and he snapped out from that dream at the exact same moment when she left.

But she didn't look like she believed him. Tears stopped rolling down her cheeks, but that desperated look was still there.

„Hey, hey" – he came closer to her. „Don't cry beautiful" – he cleaned the tears from her face with the sleeve of his shirt. „Katherine is in my past. Past I don't want to revisit, nor do I have a need to." He cupped her face with both of his hands. „I only care about the present" – he leaned down and kissed her lips. When he backed down, a smile curved on the corner of her lips.

„Stefan?" – Elena asked looking him right in the eyes. „Do you wish we slept together by now?"

„Yes" – he said without giving it a second thought. He was tired of having that conversation with her, especially because he knew no matter how many times they talk about it, nothing is going to change.

„Does it bother you that we haven't?" – she asked another question.

„No" – he shook his head. He got up from the bed, leaned down and kissed the top of her head. „Now let's go back to doing your homework, we don't want you to flunk math" – he sat on the other side of the bed and took her notebook in his hands.

She smiled as wrinkles appeared on his forehead again.


	12. Chapter 12

It was about 8 in the evening when Elena came to the Salvatore mansion and dragged Stefan outside. It was the middle of April, and evenings were usually as warm as the afternoons were. Elena came hopping into his room in a short summer dress that barely reached her knees, with a big, white bag that was lingering from her shoulder and from which a thick, black blanket was sticking out. She wanted to take advantage of such a beautiful night, so she dragged him out into the woods, where she had spread out the blanket on the ground when they have reached the clearing. The whole time they were going through the woods, he kept asking her if she's cold because of the mild wind that was blowing, trying to put his jacket around her shoulders, but she kept laughing and saying that she's fine.

She laid on the blanket, stretched out her hand up in the air, and when he grabbed her hand, she pulled him down to lay beside her. He had to laugh at how much strength she had in her little body, and he had to laugh at how happy she was today. He laid down beside her, stretched out his hand for her to put her head on it. When she did, he grabbed her by the shoulder and pulled her closer to him. She smiled, put one of her hands on his chest and made her head comfortable on his arm, while she snuggled next to his body. She was laying on the blanket in nothing but her summer dress while mild wind was making itself comfortable on her bare skin, and Stefan was worried she will catch a cold.

„Are you sure you're not cold?" – he asked gently.

She exhaled. „No, I'm good" – she smiled while pressing her body next to his. The truth is, she was a little bit cold, but she would much rather be warmed with the feeling of his body pressing next to hers than by his jacket around her shoulders.

By the time they reached the clearing in the woods and laid on the blanket, night fell down. It was dark in the woods, but Elena knew she's safe with Stefan. She knew that with him, nothing can hurt her. And the only thing she could hear was an owl on the nearby tree. And the only thing he could hear was her slow breathing. No, he could hear many things in the dark of a night, but he decided to concentrate on her breathing only.

„Can you name all the stars?" – she asked him.

„I think so" – he replied confidently.

She laughed out loud. Of course he can. Sometimes it seemed to her that Stefan knows everything. Every question she asked, he had an answer to it. Although Bonnie told her that Damon said no matter how much knowledge Stefan has, no matter how many books he reads, the thing he'll always be doing the best is loving another person with his whole heart and soul.

„When me and Jeremy were younger.." – Elena started talking, which made Stefan turn his head around and look at her. „We would build a fort in our back yard, lay in it and look at the stars through the thin sheet above us. Sometimes I'd stare at the sky for so long that I'd still be able to see the starts after I closed my eyes. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen" – Elena said as she exhaled and closed her eyes.

„Yes, it is" – he said as his eyes locked on her face. He stared at her, trying to remember every line of her face. He loved how her cheeks were always so red, and he loved her little perky nose. He couldn't decide did she look more beautiful with her eyes open, or with her eyes closed, when her beautiful eyes weren't stealing all the attention from her beautiful face. His look fell on her lips as he watched them open a little every few seconds so she could exhale.

When she felt his eyes on her, she opened her eyes, turned her head to face him and laughed out loud. „That was so cheesy" – she said through laughter.

He frowned and lowered his look, and she had to laugh at the fact how easily people can bring him down. She wondered was that the case with all people, or only with the ones he cares about? Or was he like that only with her?

She sat up and climbed on the top of him. She laid her body on his, crossed her arms on his chest and lowered her head on them. „But I like it" – she smiled at him.

He had put his hands on her back and mirrored her smile. While she was studying his face, a drop of water fell on his nose. He pulled his hand from her back to wipe the drop from his nose, but she stopped him. She saw a confused look on his face, so she smiled at him before bringing her head closer to his and sucking the drop from his nose with her lips.

„I think it's starting to rain" – she said after removing her lips from his nose. He laughed out loud.

And before they knew it, rain was pouring down on them. They both got up in a hurry, while Stefan took his jacket of and covered her head with it.

Elena looked up and smiled. „My savior" – she smiled, got up on her toes and kissed his lips. „But tonight, I'd like to get wet" – a grin appeared on her face, she bent down to pick her blanket, put it in the bag and started running across the woods.

„Elena!" – Stefan yelled after her, not amused with her behavior. When she heard him yelling her name, she turned around and gestured him to follow her. He knew he has no other choice, so he smirked and started running after her.

After few minutes of running she stopped and yelled after him. He turned around to see what's stopping her from moving, when he saw her smirking. She ran into him, jumped and intertwined her legs around his waist and kissed him passionately. She ran her fingers through his hair, and he had put his hands on her hips. Cold rain was running down their faces and wind wasn't mild anymore, it was freezing cold. But for the first time Stefan didn't care will she catch a cold or not, not when she was kissing him like that. She detached her lips from his and hopped back on the ground. She smiled at him, bit her lower lip and started running, leaving him completely and utterly stunned. It took him few seconds to start running after her.

They were running all the way through woods to the Salvatore mansion. By the time they arrived in Stefan's room, they were both soaking wet. Elena's dress somehow shrinked on her body, and he hair was glued to her face and back. Stefan's hair was flat, something Elena never saw before. She sat on his bed, leaving traces of water wherever she went. When she started rubbing her arms with her hands, Stefan had noticed she is shivering.

„I'm going to get you some towels so you can dry of, and then you can change in one of my shirts" – he said as he started walking towards the bedroom door.

„Don't leave me" – she said silently. She was tired of playing this game with him, begging him not to leave her when she very well knew he has no intention to. But it was nice hearing it over and over and over again, him promising he won't leave her. She needed to know that, that he's not going anywhere.

„I'm never going to leave you" – he said as he turned around to look at her.

„Why?" – she asked, almost taunting him.

He lowered his head, walked to the bed and sat next to her. He reached for her hand and started rubbing it with both of his. „Because you don't leave the people you love" – he said with his head lowered down.

There was a silence in the room. Stefan couldn't raise his head up to meet her eyes, and somehow she couldn't find the right words to respond to his statement.

„You love me?" – she asked silently. Her voice was jumping up and down out of fear what his answer might be. She was afraid he will take it back, she was afraid that one moment he loved her, and that now he doesn't anymore.

After few seconds of silence he raised his head up and when his eyes caught hers he responded, „Yes."

It was short and simple, but it was everything she needed. It was a confirmation. He went from someone who's touch on her skin was nothing more but lustful, to someone who touched her so gently that she thought she's going to melt under his touch. And in that moment she couldn't believe someone actually fell in love with her. She couldn't believe she made someone as Stefan fall in love with her. Someone who could have any girl in this world chose to love her.

Her eyes went mellow after hearing his response. She raised her hand and put her wet fingers on his already wet cheek, came closer and locked her lips with his. He thought she's going to back down, but she didn't. She kept kissing him, and after some time he could feel her hand going under his shirt. She had put her hand on his stomach and started raising it up until she raised his chest. She detached her lips from his and bit her lower lip.

„Then show it to me" – she said while keeping her eyes on his, and sctratching his chest with her fingernails.

When she saw a confused look on his face, she pulled her hand under his shirt and put both of her hands on her back. The only thing he could hear was her dress unzipping and falling from her chest. Enough for him to know it's unzipped, but not enough for him to see anything. She kept biting her lower lip while looking into his eyes, waiting for him to make the next move.

He was stunned. He didn't know what to say or what his next move should be. His mind was telling him this was a mistake, but his heart was practically pushing him to her. He knew he could never have her like that. He thought he could never have her like that. He made peace with that a long time ago, and somehow holding her in his arms and kissing her lips became enough for him. Because she was innocent in every way a person can be innocent, and someone like him shouldn't take that away from her. But in the same time, he wanted her. He wanted her so badly. And it wasn't about sex, it was about sharing that moment with her. It was about being with her and having her. And now when she was ready to surrender herself to him, he was afraid of it. He was afraid of being with her.

„Are you sure?" – words escaped his lips. She nodded before smiling at him. „Why" – he asked.

She tilted her head and started blushing. „Because I love you too" – words slipped her lips, and after saying them, she felt relieved. She felt like telling him that for a long time, but she never found a right moment. And this moment wasn't right, it was perfect.

After hearing those words he cupped her face with boths of his hands, leaned down and kissed her forehead. Her head fell on his shoulder. He had put his hand on her arm, and in that moment he couldn't believe how cold she was. He started rubbing her arm with his hand, which made her cling to him. They stayed in that position for few minutes, while Stefan was still unsure what should he do. And somehow, she felt that. She felt his insecurity like she could read his mind, and she didn't understand why. She didn't understand why he didn't want to be with her if he loves her. Why didn't he want to take her, right there, right now, when she asked him to. In that moment it had hit her, she didn't feel an obligation to be with him anymore. She wasn't afraid he will leave her if she doesn't sleep with him soon. She found herself wanting to be with him, needing him to call her his. And no one made her feel like that before. She heard stories from her friends, some were beautiful, and some were little less beautiful, but she never felt like that for a guy before. No one made her skin burn in a way Stefan did. „Please, make love to me" – she finally whispered in his ear.

And after hearing her whisper in his ear, every doubt he had was gone. He loves her, and she loves him. They are in love. And when Stefan realized he's in love with Elena, he realized that before he didn't even know what love is. She was right when she told him in a moment of anger that he doesn't know how to love, because until he met her, he didn't know how to love properly. She wasn't asking him to have sex with her, she was asking him to make love to her. And in that departament, he was as much of a virgin as she was.

She lifted her head up from his shoulder and stood up. As she stood up, her dress fell down from her body and she was left standing in front of him in nothing but her panties and a bra. She pushed the dress away with her feet and stratched her hands out. When he grabbed her hands, she pulled him up.

He was standing in front of her, watching her perfectly tanned body in her black, lacy underwear, while she was trying to get his shirt of. When he snapped back to reality, he lifted his hands up so she could pull his shirt away from his body. He removed one strap of her bra and started kissing her shoulder. He was planting kisses all over it, then he started kissing her neck, until he reached her other shoulder. He removed the other strap of her bra too so he could freely kiss her other shoulder. She was bending her body next to his, and the bare skin of her stomach was touching his. She lowered her hands down and unbottened his pants, which fell down his legs on the floor. He did the same thing with his pants as she did with her dress. She lowered her head and kissed his chest.

„I want to see you" – she said while she was trying to catch her breath.

He stopped kissing her shoulders and lifted his head up. She catched a confused look on his face. She wanted to see him?

„I want to see the face you never showed me before" – she said while biting her lip.

And he knew what she's asking him to do. She wanted to see him turn in front of her.

„Why?" – he asked confused.

„Because.." – she lowered her head down and kissed his chest. „I want to love every part of you" – she whispered before planting another kiss on his chest. „Even the parts you're ashamed of" – she had put her hands around his waist. „Even the parts you hate about yourself" – she pulled herself closer to him. „I want to love those parts" – she stepped on her toes and gently bit his lower lip.

No, before Elena he didn't know what love is, he was sure of that. He didn't know love includes acceptance, and respect. He knew how to give that love, but he never knew he deserves that love in return.

And when she fell back on her feet again, she looked into his face. His eyes were dark, but there was a little bit of red around his pupils. It made him look mysterious, and dangerous.. and beautiful. There were black veins stretching out from his eyes, tingling on his skin. And she could see he's ashamed of the face he's wearing, and that he is uncomfortable with wearing that face in front of her. But she didn't want him to be, because she loved every side of him, and she wanted to let him know that. She had put her hands on his face, absorbing everything she had seen and kissed his lips. She kissed him gently, and she kissed him slowly. And when she pulled back, he knew he can remove the face he was wearing, because now she kissed both sides of him, and she didn't ran away. Because he's her Stefan, no matter which face he wears.

He had put his arms around her and they fell on the bed, intertwined. She could remember him unhooking her bra, and kissing her neck. She could remember her scratching his back and clinging on to him as her panties fell of her thigh. She could remember being scared and she could remember her heart pounding wildly. She could remember him fulling his fingers through her hair, and removing her hair from her face, and she remembered how every gentle gesture he made reminded her she's safe with him.

And it was everything they told her it's going to be. She didn't know how should she bend her body or which position she should take. She didn't know in which situation she can kiss him, and she didn't know is she allowed to be loud when pleasure takes over her. She will remember it being uncomfortable, like they told her it's going to be.

But no one ever told her how happy it's going to make her. No one ever told her how gentle he's going to be, or how the tingling sensation between their bodies is almost more powerful than the act of sex. No one ever told her how good will his skin feel while pressing next to her, and no one ever told her how complete she's going to feel. Belonging to someone sounded downgrading, but in that moment all she wanted to do is to belong to him. To call herself his and to let him do this to her every waking moment they spent together.

And no one ever told her how amazing the moment after is going to bed. When he pulled her naked body closer to him and made them melt into one. In that moment she felt like they're sharing one body, one heart, one soul and one mind, because she knew exactly how he feels, and she was sure he knows how she feels too.

No one told her how beautiful she's going to feel while laying under the sheets with her body pressing next to his, with her head on his chest and with his lips on the top of her head.

**I wanted to write this for a long time, so I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. But sure to make me know what you think in the reviews!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Yeah, this chapter is a little bit shorter than usual. I have some ideas, but I think it's too early for them, so let this chapter be one of those filler chapters :)**

Elena lifted her heavy eyelids only to find herself feeling more tired than she did before she fell asleep. She could feel the sun sneaking in the room and placing it's beams on the top of her head. She felt Stefan's arm around her weist, under the blanket, where his fingers were lingering on her bare stomach. Wide smile appeared on her face as she snuggled her pillow. When she managed to open her eyes completely, she stretched her hand out to the night stand and grabbed her phone. It was 10 in the morning. 10 in the morning?, she shouted in her mind.

„Stefan!" – she yelled. She uncovered herself and pulled her body from his grip and jumped on her feet. „We'll be late for school" – she picked up her jeans from the floor and pulled them up her legs.

Stefan groaned and turned his head on ther other side.

„I'm serious Stefan, we have to leave now" – she said as she had put her wrinkled shirt on. Next time, she won't leave her clothes on the floor. Or let him rip them from her body in such a hury, although that might have been her fault, since she did the same to him.

„Elena, I'm almost two centuries old, I don't have to go to school" – he said with a sleepy voice, with his head burried in the pillow.

Elena laughed out loud.

„You don't have to go either" – he continued. „You can take your clothes of, come back to bed, and we could put the last night on repeat" – his voice was muffled.

She smiled as the memories of last night came rushing down at her. They were planning to go out for dinner. She damanded from him to take her out on a real date, so he made reservations in her favorite restoraunt. She came to pick him up, but they never left the bedroom.

„I really have to go" – she said through laughter.

„Fine" – he turned around to look at her. „Do you need me to drive you?"

„No" – she said as she jumped on the bed and fell on her knees. „I came here with my own car" – she leaned her head and gave him a peck on the lips, but pulled her head back up, because she knew if she had let him kiss her back, she would never leave.

She saw a disappointed look on his face when she pulled her head up, so she smiled at him and left the room in a hury. She expected to see Damon in the library, but he wasn't there, which was weird, since he was always there when she was leaving, waiting for her with a nasty comment that would made her giggle afterwards. She sat into her car and started driving towards the school. She wondered did Alaric and Jeremy notice she didn't come home last night. She knew she can't pull the best friend sleepover card for long, especially when she didn't even told Bonnie or Caroline they're her excuse. And she couldn't tell Alaric she's spending the night with her vampire boyfriend, although she was sure he already knows. Or at least suspects it. But not seeing Stefan wasn't an option. Not being with her certainly wasn't an option. The other day she realized how hard she fell for him. Happiness kept snucking up on her from the moment he came into her life. She didn't only love him, she was utterly and completely in love with him. When she wasn't with him, she wished to be with him, and when she was with him, she wished that the moments they spent together can last longer. She wanted to freeze time, to remember every line of his face, every feeling he gave her, how her body trembeled when he touched her. And that scared her because she knew there will come time when she will have to say goodbye to him. Because he's a vampire, and she's a human, and one day, she will wake up and realize there's no more place for him in her life. And she'll have to do it all over again. Trust someone and love someone as much as she trusts and loves him. And she wondered is there anyone out there who resembels Stefan. Who has all of his qualities. Is there someone who can make her feel like he does? The thought seemed impossible, because when Stefan crept into her heart, she knew he's the only one for her. As she parked her car on the school parking lot, she dismissed those thoughts. She won't have to say goodbye to Stefan for a long time.

She rushed in the school and headed straight to the cafeteria. She saw Caroline and Bonnie sitting by the table in the back, grabbed a youghurt and went to join them.

„Hey" – she said while making herself comfortable on the bench next to Bonnie.

„Where have you been?" – Caroline raised her eyebrow.

„I overslept" – Elena said as she licked the spoon.

„You overslept?" – Caroline raised her voice as she was trying to catch Elena's look. But Elena kept staring at her youghurt.

„You never oversleep" – Bonnie said before taking a bite of her sandwich.

Caroline furrowed her brows. „There's something different about you" – she curved her lips.

Elena raised her look and looked Caroline in the eyes. Caroline was squinting, she looked like she's trying to figure Elena out. How is she different? She hasn't changed, at least she didn't think so. Her friends did, obviously. She glanced at Bonnie who was giving her the same look as Caroline did.

„What?" – Elena asked, her eyes skipping from Caroline to Bonnie.

„You're just.." – Caroline stopped squinting and took a sip of her juice. „Different" – she finally said.

„More relaxed" – Bonnie agreed and nodded.

„OMG" – Caroline yelled as her eyes widened. „You totally did it!"

Elena's spoon fell from her hands in the cup.

„Did what?" – Bonnie asked confused.

Caroline frowned at her, then turned her look to Elena and a big smile appeared on her face. „You lost your V card" – she said loudly.

„Would you keep your voice down?" – Elena whispered.

Caroline laughed out loud, and Bonnie followed her. At first Elena frowned at her friends, but as she kept lowering her head, a smile appeared on her face.

„He told me that he loves me" – she murmured.

She raised her head up and caught her friends staring at her with a serious expression on her face.

„And I told him I loved him back" – she blushed as a wide smile stretched over her face.

Bonnie watched her friend smile truthfully and she realize she hasn't seen her this happy since.. well, she has never seen her this happy.

„So, spill it" – devilish smile appeared on Caroline's face. „How is it to have sex with a vampire?" – she winked at Elena.

„Caroline!" – Elena yelled at her.

„What?" – Caroline asked through laughter. „Neither me or Bonnie were ever with one, so.." – she rolled her eyes.

Bonnie almost laughed out loud, but she knew she shouldn't, so she simply nodded after Caroline.

Elena sighed. „I don't have anyone to compare him to, Caroline." Which was true. Even if sleeping with a vampire was that much different than sleeping with a human, she wouldn't even know. „He's not a vampire to me. To me, he's simply Stefan. And the thing I'm always going to remember is how some time during it, he leaned down and kissed my forehead. Which made me feel safe and loved."

She could hear Caroline's loud sigh across the table. That sigh was followed by few sobs. Caroline was such a sucker for romance.

„But I really have overslept" – Elena laughed. „For some reason my alarm didn't go of."

„Mhm, for some reason" – Bonnie teased.

Elena smacked her by the shoulder and laughed. She needed this. She needed to tell someone. Not that she had sex. But that she's in love.

**xxxx**

„I'm tired of this, Bonnie!" – Damon raised his voice as he stood up from the couch. „I'm tired of playing these games. It's been weeks now."

„I can't tell them, Damon" – Bonnie stayed calm despite his loud tone.

„Why?" – he asked desperately.

„You know why" – she lowered her look as she imagined the faces of her family if they ever found out.

„You know what, screw that Bonnie. Screw everything" – he raised up his voice again. „Stop thinking what everyone expect from you. Stop thinking about what your family wants, or what your friends want, or what I want, and start thinking about what you want. There are people who are going to disagree with you, and the only way to beat them is to be sure in your choices. But me? I can't go through this again" – he sat back on the sofa.

Bonnie raised her head up to look at him. „Again?" – she asked confused.

„Katherine" – he practically whispered her name. He turned his head around to look at her, and his eyes became glossy again. „She never loved me" – he shook his head as his forehead wrinkled. „She did, but never like she loved Stefan. She said he makes her feel.. human. She rarely talked to him about me, but when she was with me, she wouldn't shut up about him" – a painful smile appeared on his face. „I can't keep hiding anymore. I'm tired of feeling like people are ashamed of me" – he bit his lower lip.

Bonnie tilted her head, and she could feel tears coming to her eyes. She wasn't ashamed of Damon, not even a little bit. But she couldn't tell her family either.

A loud gasp came out from his mouth. „I'm not asking from you to stand on the top of a hill and should that you're with me. Hell, I'm not even asking you to tell your family. But people we both know, your friends."

He was right. He was completely right. She shouldn't keep him a secret. Especially not from people she sees every day. People she knows won't judge.

She placed her hand on the top of his. „Fine" – she said cheerfully, which made him look into her eyes again. „We'll tell them together" – she leaned in and kissed his lips.


	14. Chapter 14

„You and Damon?" – Caroline asked suspiciously.

Bonnie and Damon told her friends the truth about them this morning. Caroline and Elena stared at them, speachless. Stefan simply laughed and said he was suspecting something all along. Elena gave him a confused look, wondering why he didn't say something to her about it. Soon enough, Damon and Stefan took of, and left the girls alone.

„How long is this going on?" – Elena had put a straight of hair behind her ear and pulled a wide smile through her face.

„For a while now" – Bonnie was trying to avoid making any eye contact with them.

„Better question is why is this going on?" – Caroline raised her voice. She didn't mean anything bad, she didn't even know Damon that well, but he didn't seem like a guy Bonnie would ever fall for.

Bonnie decided to ignore that question.

„Longer than me and Stefan?" – Elena asked curiously.

Bonnie shook her head and smiled. „Elena, you fell for Stefan the first time you saw him, you just haven't admitted it to yourself back then" – Bonnie looked at her friend.

Elena blushed. It was true, though. From the moment she met Stefan, she felt something for him. But she didn't understand her feelings, and the fact she had any feelings scared her, so she dismissed them.

„Why didn't you tell us sooner?" – Caroline picked up a french fry from the plate and started nibbling on it. Elena and Bonnie will never get used to her eating junk food.

„Because I'm a witch, and he's a vampire" – Bonnie explained quickly.

„And that's a problem because..?" – Caroline frowned at Elena stealing a french fry from her plate.

„From the beginning of time, witches were used by vampires, as slaves mostly. They hate each other. I should hate Damon. I was raised to hate vampires. And I didn't tell you because of fear my family will find out. And they can't find out, ever, so you can't say a word about this, understood?" – Bonnie looked at Elena who nodded her head, then at Caroline who was staring at her in amazament.

Caroline had put both of her heads on her cheeks and tilted her head. „That is so romantic" – she squealed. „You two are star crossed lovers!" – she said with a sobbing voice. Speaking like a true romantic.

Bonnie smiled and lowered hear head down. Elena had to do the same. But when she opened her mouth to ask Bonnie another question, Caroline moaned loudly. Both Bonnie and Elena turned their heads to look at her.

„Tyler" – she gasped.

Her eyes widened and her lips stayed separated a little when she said his name. She held her hands pinned on the table. Bonnie and Elena turned around and saw Tyler standing at the door, staring at Caroline's direction. Tyler and Caroline had a thing before she became a vampire. They had more than a thing, actually. Caroline loved him. They were dating for about half of a year before Tyler discovered his family secret, which is only few weeks before Caroline became a vampire. After his dad's death, his uncle Mason flew in the town and told him about the secret his father didn't even know about. All the males in the Lockwood family were werewolves. It was a curse, and for the curse to be actived, they had to cause the death of another person. And Tyler did, in a car accident. And Caroline was there for him, all the way through. That was the bravest thing she did, and she did it without giving it a second thought. But when she was turned into a vampire, Alaric told them that one werewolf bite is deadly for a vampire. That's when Tyler went to visit his uncle to find more about his situation.

Caroline couldn't move. She had a feeling her heart went to her heels and poured on the floor through them. Her eyes locked with Tyler's and he started walking towards their table. In that moment both Elena and Bonnie stretched out their hands and put them on Caroline's hand. That snaped her back to reality. She turned her head to her friends and smiled at them.

„Hey" – Tyler said as he stood next to Caroline's chair. He waved at Bonnie and Elena, and they smiled at him.

„Hey" – Caroline said with an awkward smile on her face. She begged Tyler not to leave. She begged him to stay with her, but he said the best thing he could do for her was to leave. She was mad at him, and their departure wasn't nice, but after she calmed down she realized he had a point. He was only trying to protect her, to protect both of them. To find a way to be together without him hurting her. „You're back" – she said silently.

Tyler nodded. „Yeah. And I think we have to talk" – he said while curving his lips into a smile.

„Yeah" – she agreed and lowered her head.

„Tonight at my place?" – he asked.

She simply nodded her head in agreement.

„I'll be seeing you then" – he said. He once again looked at Bonnie and Elena and smiled at them. They returned him the same smile. He turned back to Caroline, nodded, and started walking to the door.

Caroline had put both of her hands on her head and gasped loudly. Bonnie and Elena got up from their side of a table and sat next to Caroline. They took her into a hug, and she simply colapsed into their arms.

**xxxx**

„Stefan!" – he heard a loud scream of his name, coming from the stairs that were leading to his bedroom.

In that moment Elena entered the room, trying to catch her breath. She was wearing a thin, black coat that was reaching to her knees and shoes with a moderately high heel. He found the coat a weird choice for such a warm summer night, but he knew better than questioning fashion choices of his girlfriend.

„What?" – he asked without getting up from the chair by his writing desk.

She walked to him, bent down and grabbed her knees with her hand, still trying to catch her breath. He was getting worried, but in the moment he was ready to ask her what happened, she raised her head up, and he saw a wide smile on her face. He concluded everything is fine.

„I was very, very bad today, Stefan" – she said with a seductive voice. She had put her palms on the top of his knees and leaned down. He thought she's going to kiss his lips, but she didn't. She kept her lips in the close distance to his, but she didn't kiss him. He could feel his lips tremble in her presence, and he asked himself how did that happen. She had an ability to make him so nervous, and he wasn't nervous in years. In a century. „Very, very bad" – she repeated. He could feel her warm breath on his lips. He wanted to kiss her, but he knew she's not about to give him a satisfaction of a kiss. She was playing a game with him, but he didn't know which one.

She raised her upper body and grinned at him.

„Oh yeah?" – a smirk appeared on his face. „And why is that?"

She giggled. „Well" – she wrapped her fingers around a thin, silk band of her coat and pulled the band for the coat to open. „I forgot to put the clothes on" – she smirked as the coat fell from her body on the ground, leaving her in nothing but pink, lacy underwear. He gasped and looked at her in amazament. He couldn't believe his Elena would get out of her house in nothing but her underwear covered with her coat. He couldn't believe she would drive herself over to his house dressed like that, and he couldn't believe she would walk through the house dressed like that. He couldn't believe she would be standing in front of him, with her hands on her hips, biting her lower lip. She was always shy, and innocent, and pure. The first time she was standing in front of him in her underwear her skin trembeled and she was trying to cover he stomach with her hands. And now she was standing in front of him in practically a see through underwear, with her hands on her hips, showing of her flat stomach and perfect waist, and her long lengs that seemed longer than usual because of the shoes she was wearing. He checked her out from head to toe, wanting to rip of the little piece of clothing she had on her body. She had seen the desire in his eyes, so she sat on his lap, cupped his face with her hands and kissed him on the lips. „And I've heard that a very bad vampire lives here" – she said after separating their lips. Stefan smiled at her and pushed his head up to reach her lips. He was hungry for them.

But she pushed him back and started kissing his neck. He had put both of his hands on her back and slightly sctratched her skin. He could feel her hands going under her shirt the same way they did the night they first made love. She stopped kissing his neck and rose her head up.

„Stefan?" – she said his name innocently as she furrowed her brows. „Is there something vampires like during, you know, sex? Something not typical for humans?" – she asked curiously before biting her lip.

Stefan laughed. „Yes, but it's something we're never going to do" – he said as he leaned down to kiss her again.

But she had put her fingers between their lips. „Tell me" – she whispered into his lips, her hot breath warmed his cold skin.

He fell back into the chair and looked her in the eyes. „Okay" – he knew he can't turn her down. She pulled the strings of his mind and heart, and what Elena wished for, Elena got. He simply couldn't look into her eyes and not give her what she wanted to have. She could make him do anything, and sometimes, she took advantage of that fact. „For humans, it's about physical pleassure. I'm not saying vampires don't like phyiscal pleassure, but one thing that can satisfy vampires more than sex, is blood. So there's nothing more pleasurable for a vampire than sinking their teeth in their partners neck during sex. And the feeling is.. well, I don't know how to explain it to you" – he looked into her eyes, and she was looking at him curiously, her eyes practically begging him to try to explain it to her. „You know that feeling when you desperately crave for ice cream?" – he asked. She nodded in hury. „And when you crave for something, a minute without it seems like a day without it, and after an hour you have a feeling you haven't tasted an ice cream for the whole eternity. And you know that sensational feeling when you finally have ice cream?" – she nodded again. „Well, it's like that" – he was gently scratching her back with his fingers.

„So basically, it's like eating ice cream during sex?" – she asked.

He laughed out loud. „Yes, it's exactly like that" – he said through laughter.

„And the person from whom the blood is being taken, do they enjoy?" – she had bit her lower lip again.

Stefan nodded. „Yes. Your heart starts racing, pounding wildly. You have a feeling like your spirit is leaving your body. Goosebumps appear on your skin, and you start feeling overwhelming hotness because of the blood that is being drained from you. If you lose too much blood, you fall unconcious, but if the right amount is taken, the only thing you feel is tingling sensation in your body" – he stopped scratching her back and pulled his hands closer to his body.

She smiled at him, leaned her head down and kissed his lips. When she detached her lips from his, she rested her forehead on his.

„Will you do it to me?" – she asked silently.

„No" – he said without giving it a second though.

She rose her head up and looked at him somewhat disappointed.

„I'm not hurting you like that" – he shook his head.

„But you said - "

„I know what I said" – he interrupted her in the middle of her sentence. „Forget what I said" – he had put his hand on her back again and started scratching her.

She lowered her head down in disappointment, but she understood him. Especially when she remembered him telling her about his blood problem. She knew he was scared of hurting her. And she herself didn't know what had gotten into her.

She leaned down and kissed him again. But this time, she didn't detach her lips from his. She kept kissing him, and she wanted to kiss him until the end of time. She wished to never separate her lips from his again. She wanted to be with him forever. She could feel love wrapping her hands around her and squeezing every drop of energy from her and giving it to Stefan. She could feel passion compelling her body, loyalty possesing her mind and deep love sneaking into her heart. They stayed into that position for a while, simply keeping their lips on each other's, giving themselves to each other in a simplest and one of the most wonderful ways a person can give herself to another.

When she finally detached her lips from his, she looked into his eyes. „Can I touch your fang?" – she asked.

He couldn't understand her sudden obsession with his vampire parts, and in the moment he was ready to turn her down again, she started talking.

„Please, let me get to know you" – she pleaded.

And then he realized. That simple sentence made him realize. No matter how much he loves her, and no matter how much she loves him, there's always going to be a unfulfilled space between them. He could understand her, he remembered how it was, to be a human. But she will never understand him. She will never understand how he feels, or how he loves, or how he wants her and needs her. She will never completely possess his mind in a way he can possess hers.

He couldn't say no to her twice in the same night, so he opened his mouth and disposed his fangs. She looked into his eyes and smiled, brought her finger closer to his fang, and after a moment of hesitation, put her finger on it. She felt the sharpness of it, and she knew that if she pressed her finger harder to it, the top of his fang would pierce right through her skin. He felt the sensational feeling of her skin pressing to his fang, and in that moment he regretted turning down her offer. In that moment, he want to feel his fangs piercing through the skin of her neck, feeling her blood flowing over his teeth, and giving her the feeling like the river is rushing through her body. But he knew he shouldn't. He vowed to himself that he never would. He would never hurt her like that, even if she begged him. Even if his life depended on it.

When she pulled her finger from his fang, his need to be with her was too much to handle. He grabbed her by her hips, lifted her up, and as he got up from the chair, she intertwined her legs around his waist. She giggled and kissed his lips while he was carrying her towards the bed. She was light as a feather, and he enjoyed feeling her bare skin pressing to his body.

They both fell on the bed, and he started kissing her neck. He started going down her body, planting kisses from her neck, over her chest, to her stomach. When he kissed the middle of her stomach, she moaned in pleasure. She pulled her fingers through his hair as he kept kissing her stomach.

„I love you so much" – he said, pronauncing the words between kisses.

„I love you too" – she said while bending her body in the direction of his kisses.

„You're perfect, do you know that?" – he asked.

„I'm far from being perfect" – she told him that before, and she's holding on to her words.

She could feel his smile on her skin. In that moment, he removed her panties from her right hip, and pulled his finger over her scar. He could feel the dent in her skin, going all over her hip. He lowered his head and planted a kiss on her scar.

„You're the closest thing to perfection on this Earth, and this scar is only a small reminder of it" – he said while kissing her hip.

She'll let him have it this time, because she understood him. He loved her, and when you love someone, to you, they're perfect. She understood him, because he was kinda perfect to her too.

„You're my heaven" – he whispered.

And he was her sanctuary.

**What do you think about Tyler's return? Will he and Caroline be together? What about Stefan and Elena, and the difference between a vampire and a human? Will that shake up their relationship?**


	15. Chapter 15

It was 5 in the morning when Stefan heard a loud noise coming from downstairs. He was sure it's not Damon, because there was no way in hell Damon was up at 5 in the morning. When he came downstairs, he saw a familiar blonde lady sitting on the couch with a straw in her blood bag going straight to her mouth.

„Lexi?" – he asked confused, rubbing his eyes.

„Hey there stranger" – she said before taking another sip of the blood through the straw.

„What are you doing here?" – he asked enthusiastically.

„Can't a girl visit her best friend?" – she raised her eyebrow and tapped on the empty place on the sofa next to her, gesturing him to sit down.

And he did. He sat next to her, put his arms around her and hugged her tightly. „Of course you can, you're always welcome here" – he had let go her from his embrace after squeezing every drop of energy out of her body.

Lexi smiled at him and put the straw back in her mouth. Lexi is one of the reasons why he's sitting here today. Her, Damon, and now Elena, are people who changed his life. Inspired him to change. Lexi, the person who kept him alive all those years. Damon, who saved him from himself. And Elena, who showed him that love is always worth it.

„So" – Lexi said while making herself comfortable on the sofa. „What's new?" – a huge smirk appeared on her face.

And in the moment Stefan was ready to tell her everything about his life in Mystic Falls, he heard footsteps on the stairs.

„Stefan?" – he could hear Elena whisper his name with her sleepy voice as she entered the library.

She was wearing nothing but his shirt that was hanging from her body. Her eyes were half closed, and in the moment she entered the room, she was yawning. She removed the hair from her face and rubbed her eyes. When she opened them, she could see Stefan sitting on the sofa with someone she didn't know. Lexi gave Stefan a confusing look. She knew Stefan never brings girls to his place, and he never spends the whole night with them. Elena caught the girl looking at Stefan with a confused look, while Stefan was keeping his eyes on Elena. When Elena realized she's only wearing Stefan's shirt, she could feel blush coming to her cheeks. She was trying to pull his shirt down her knees so her panties doesn't show.

„Elena" – Stefan said with such a caring voice, voice full of love, voice that threw Lexi of. Stefan used that voice only when he talked about his brother. About a person he will always love, no matter what happens. He got up from the sofa and started walking towards Elena. „This is Lexi, remember I told you about her?" – Stefan smiled widely at her.

Elena nodded as the memory of Stefan talking about his best friend rushed through her brain. Stefan gestured for Lexi to get up from the sofa and join them, so she did.

„Lexi, this is Elena. My..." – he stopped at the end of the sentence, knowing how the word he was about to pronaunce will sound crazy to Lexi. His girlfriend? His love? His happiness? His reason to smile? Elena raised her head to look at him, while he was staring at Lexi, unable to pronaunce the word he was about to say. He felt her eyes on him, and he felt guilty. He shouldn't be embarassed to tell people she's his. „My girlfriend" – he finally said.

And he was right, that word sounded crazy to Lexi. She almost laughed at his face. But she knew she shouldn't. Especially not after she saw the serious expression on his face after pronauncing the word.

„It's nice to meet you, Elena" – Lexi smiled and stretched out her hand.

Elena looked down and grabbed her hand to shake it. „Likewise" – she smiled. She could feel Stefan's shirt going up her knees again. „I should get dressed now. It will only take a minute, and then I'll be down again" – she told Stefan before getting on her toes and giving him a kiss on the cheek. Stefan smiled at her as he watched her leave upstairs.

„What was that about?" – Lexi asked when she heard Elena closing the door of Stefan's room.

Stefan laughed out loud. He knew Lexi would have this kind of reaction. Everyone who knew him would have this kind of reaction. He was only glad she was able to control herself in front of Elena. He sat back on the sofa and looked at Lexi who was staring at him confused.

„Did you say she is your.. girlfriend?" – Lexi cringed at the word.

Stefan nodded and smiled.

„Who are you and what have you done to my Stefan?" – Lexi furrowed her brows.

Lexi knew Stefan doesn't let people in easily. He doesn't love easily, and there are times when he doesn't even want to.

„What can I say?" – he laughed and claped with his palms. „She's the most amazing girl I've ever met, and I fell for her."

„Oh?" – Lexi was intrigued now. She sat on the sofa next to Stefan, crossed her legs, and looked at him, letting him know he should continue.

He laughed out loud when he saw her curious look. „There's not much to say. She is amazing, wonderful, funny, caring, selfless.. she's the best person for me to be around with. She saved me as much as you and Damon did" – he raised his eyebrown at the realization of that fact.

„Are you in love with her?" – Lexi asked happily.

Stefan raised his head up to look at her. „Yes" – he said without giving it a second thought.

Lexi smirked. „So much about the guy who said he will never fall in love again" – she teased him.

Stefan smacked her on the upper arm, and she did the same to him.

„So Salvatore, where are you taking me out tonight?" – she took another sip of the blood, and when she emptied the bag she threw it on the table.

„We are going to the Grill, they're having the last party before the final exams. You are welcome to join us."

„Who are we?" – Lexi wrinkled her forehead.

„Me and Elena."

„Stefan, you became we people!" – Lexi laughed out loud. Stefan was trying to keep her quiet, but he wasn't successful in that. She laughed so hard that she almost fell from the sofa.

„Couple of her friends are going to be there too. And Damon. And oh, his girlfriend" – Stefan said.

Lexi stopped laughing. Her face became serious all of a sudden. „Damon has a girlfriend?" – she gasped.

Stefan nodded.

She was looking at him for few seconds, then started laughing like a crazy person again. „What's wrong with this town?" – she said through laughter.

Nothing's wrong with this town. This town is absolutely perfect, Stefan thought.

„So, are you in?" – Stefan asked with a smile on his face.

„I wouldn't miss it for the world" – she said while trying to catch her breath.

**xxxx**

When Stefan, Elena and Lexi walked in the Grill, it was crowded with high school students. The first thing Elena saw were Caroline and Tyler, holding hands and kissing. Yesterday evening, she went over to Tyler's house to talk to him, like he suggested for them to do. And from the way they were acting, their conversation must have gone pretty well. They introduced Lexi to all of them, and Tyler finally met Stefan and Damon. He especially thanked Stefan for taking such good care of Caroline, and helping her when she needed help. If he wasn't there, there is a great chance Caroline wouldn't be here today either, and she made that perfectly clear to Tyler, which made him respect Stefan even more. Lexi kept giving Damon a hard time. She and Damon never liked each other very much, so their encounters which always included biterness and banter, entertained him.

„I still don't know how the two of you met" – Lexi said while eyeing Stefan, who was planting kisses all over Elena's cheek. She was reasting her head on his chest, and he was going through her hair with his fingers.

„You should tell her" – Caroline jumped from the chair enthusiastically. „Their story is movie material."

Bonnie had to laugh at Caroline's overly romantic side before taking Damon's hand and putting it around her shoulders. Damon smiled and pulled her closer to him.

„There's nothing to tell" – Stefan threw his free hand in the air. „She saw me, and I swooped her of her feet" – he grined.

„After you stopped being a jerk" – Elena said after taking a sip of her juice.

„I don't recall that part" – Stefan smiled and shook his head.

„He was so full of himself" – Elena ignored him and pulled her chair closer to Lexi's. „He thought he can have everything and everyone without even trying."

„Yeah, that sounds like the Stefan I know" – Lexi laughed.

„But I made him work for it" – she nodded her head in satisfaction.

„After a centruy you finally found someone who can knock some sense into you" – Lexi smiled while looking at her best friend.

„It was worth of a wait" – he said silently.

The only thing they could hear before Elena pulling his chair closer to his was Caroline's long sob. Elena placed herself in her initial position, with her head on his chest, but soon enough she raised her head up and kissed his lips. So he doesn't forget how they taste. She had put her head back on his chest and smiled as he continued pulling his fingers through her hair.

„I love this song" – Caroline squealed when the song changed. „Let's dance" – she grabbed Tyler by the hand and dragged him to the dance floor.

„I'll go get myself a drink" – Lexi noted them before standing up and finding her way to the bar through the crowd.

„I want to dance too" – Elena got up from the chair and stretched her hand out to Stefan.

Stefan shook his head. „There's one thing you have to know about me Miss Gilbert. I don't dance" – he smiled.

„Not even for me?" – she gave him a puppy look.

And how could he say no to that? How could he say no to the most beautiful, most amazing, most loving and caring girl in the world? He could never say no to her.

„For you, my darling, I would dance until my feet fall off" – he grabbed her hand.

She smiled at him, pulled him closer to her and kissed him on the lips, before leading him to the dance floor, right next to Caroline and Tyler.

Damon didn't like to dance, and neither did Bonnie. They were sitting by the table, his hand was around her shoulder, and she lowered her head down on his chest. Damon kissed her on the top of her head.

„Are you happy?" – Bonnie asked.

„Immensely" – Damon replied while planting another kiss on the top of her head.

He was holding her in his arms, that was his recipe for happiness.

„They seem happy too" – she pointed to Stefan and Elena with her look.

„They are" – Damon smiled. He was watching his little brother dance, something he never did. Something he hated doing even as a human. He wasn't even surprised with him dancing with Elena, he knew she could make him do anything. Because Elena is the one for him. „He's happier than ever."

Bonnie smiled and nodded. „Her too." She wondered what will happen to Elena when there comes a time for Stefan to leave? What will happen to her when there comes a time for Damon to leave? That was bugging her for quite some while, but she dismissed that thought as soon as Damon planted another kiss on her head.

Stefan was holding Elena around her waist, and her head was resting on his shoulder, while her arms were around his neck. Her body was pressed so close to his that he could feel her heart beating on his chest.

„Stefan?" – she asked.

„Yeah?" – he squeezed her closer to him.

She got on the top of her toes. „Thank you for waiting for me all these years" – she whispered into his ear.

And he did have a feeling he was waiting for her. That he died and lived to meet her. That he walked the Earth for century and a half, waiting for her. He was walking into her direction without even knowing it.

„You're very much welcome" – he lowered his head and whispered into her ear.

He could feel a smile forming on her face as she pressed her head to his shoulder.

After half of hour of dancing, boys asked for a time out.

„So, you and Tyler are good?" – Elena whispered into Caroline's ear as they were heading towards their table.

„Yes" – she nodded. „We talked for hours yesterday, and after making a pro and con list, we realized that we love each other and that that's all that matters" – she smiled.

„Good" – Elena mirrored her smile. „I'm glad" – she had put her arm around Caroline and squeezed her into a hug.

„Oh my God" – Caroline said in shock. „Is that Matt?" – she pointed to the bar.

„Having fun with Lexi?" – Elena crooked her eyebrow.

They watched Matt as he was having a small talk with Stefan's best friend, laughing and showing her something with his hand, and then giving her a beer. Lexi had a wide smile on her face when she turned around and headed to the table.

Elena headed to the bar. When Matt saw her, he wished there is someone to take his place, but since the place was crawling with people, the whole staff was busy. Elena saw the uneasines in his face as she approached him.

„I see you met Lexi" – she had cut right to the chase.

Matt looked Elena in the eyes, trying to keep angry expression on his face, but when he remembered his talk with Lexi, a smile appeared on his face.

„Yeah, she's awesome" – he lowered his head down and smiled shyly.

„So you don't mind?"

„Mind what?" – Matt frowned.

She leaned down over the counter. „That she's a vampire" – she whispered.

There was a confused expression on Matt's face.

„She's a..?" – he became pale.

„Yes" – Elena nodded.

„But she seems so.."

„Normal?" – Elena laughed. „You have to stop judging them, Matt. I don't mean all of them, but the ones that won't harm you" – she said with a caring voice.

„How can you say that? After everything they taught you, told you, showed you.." – Matt's voice started shaking.

„They were wrong" – Elena shook her head. „When they told us vampires can't love, they were wrong. They can love, and sometimes, they can love better than people" – Elena blushed when she realized Stefan's love is what made her say that.

„But they're not human" – Matt said through his teeth.

„Stefan says that I make him feel more like a human than he remembers feeling when he was an actual human" – she was uncomfortable talking about Stefan with Matt, so she lowered her head. Matt probably felt the same, since he didn't say anything to that. „I have to go now, but think about it" – Elena winked at Matt and headed to the poll table when she saw Bonnie and Damon playing.

**xxxx**

„Hey" – Stefan patted Caroline on the back as he came to sit by her by the table, since he saw her sitting there alone.

„Hey" – Caroline said somewhat less happy than usual.

„So, Elena told me that you and Tyler made up" – Stefan was trying to make eye contact with her, but she was refusing to raise her head up. She simply nodded.

„She also told me that he's a werewolf" – he said seriously.

This made Caroline raise her head up. She nodded once again.

„Do you know how dangerous that is?" – he asked while keeping his voice calm.

„I know. But I love him, and I'm ready to risk it. Wouldn't you do the same for Elena?" – she asked.

Stefan smiled. „I'm not here to judge you, Caroline" – his face muscles relaxed. „I'm here to look out for you" – he said while smiling at her.

„Thank you" – she smiled back. But soon, her face became serious again. „Is there something you're afraid of?" – she asked.

He knew she's not talking about the monsters under the bed. There's not a lot of things vampires are afraid of. But there is one thing that keeps scaring them. Time. And how quickly it passes. He turned his head around and looked at Elena who was playing poll with Bonnie and his brother. She was young, she was having fun. She had all the time she needs. And he had too much of it.

„I'm afraid, that one day, she's going to wake up and realize how big of a mistake this is. How she's wasting her time with me. I'm afraid that she will end this sooner than it has too" – he said silently.

„But it doesn't have to end" – Caroline's voice jumped, and her heart almost broke, hearing him talk.

He knew what she was suggesting. „I don't want that life for her" – he shook his head.

Caroline understood. She didn't want this life for herself either.

„Are you afraid of saying goodbye to her?" – her voice cracked.

„Yes" – Stefan admitted it for the first time. To both her and himself. „And Damon will have to say goodbye to Bonnie. And you, you'll have to say goodbye to Tyler too. And everyone here."

„What will happen to me?" – a tear rolled down her cheek. „This life is the only one I know of" – she said with a crying voice.

„Hey, hey" – Stefan cleared her face from tears with his finger. „Listen to me" – he turned around and took her by the shoulders. „When the time comes, we'll leave together. Wherever you want" – Stefan smiled at her.

Caroline stopped sobbing. „Can we go to Italy?" – a smile appeared on her face.

Stefan laughed. „Yes, we can go to Italy."

Caroline reminded him of Lexi. Lexi helped him, and he will help Caroline. He will take care of her. He has to, he promised Elena he will.

„Hey guys" – Stefan heard Elena's voice above them. She walked towards them and made herself comfortable in Stefan's lap. She had put her hands around his neck and rested her forehead on his. „Can we go home now?" – she asked.

Home. That sounded nice.

„You tired?" – he asked.

She nodded and rubbed her forehead against his.

„Let's go then" – he kissed her on the cheek.

She stood up and put her hands around him, so she can lean on him. He had put his hand around her shoulder. They both waved at Caroline who went to join the others by the poll table.

The night was quiet. Everyone who ever made noise at night were probably at the Grill. Stefan and Elena kept their hands on each other.

„Where are we going, that's not the way to your house?" – Stefan asked confused.

„We're going to your house" – she smiled.

„But you said home."

She pulled her hands from him. „Home is wherever you are" – she got on the top of her toes and kissed his lips. She could feel his lips curving into a smile while kissing her.

„You two make such a cute couple" – they heard a voice coming behind them.

Elena slowly turned around, but Stefan didn't have to. He would recognize that voice anywhere. The voice that kept haunting him for a long, long time.

„Katherine" – he said silently.

**Well, whoever asked will Katherine make an appearance, he's your answer. And to answer your question, sorry, but I don't think I will put Klaus in this story, maybe another one. What do you say about Lexi? And Stefan and Caroline's friendship? What about all of them slowly realizing they'll have to say goodbye one day? Leave your reviews!**


	16. Chapter 16

Stefan slowly turned around to face Katherine. He hasn't seen her for over a century. He would be lying if he said he's not interested in how she looks like after all these years. He would be lying if he said he didn't think about her from time to time. But he rarely missed her, and he most certainly wasn't in love with her anymore, if he ever was. He wished to have some closure with her.

He turned around and saw Katherine smirking at him. He could also feel Elena's look on his face. Her arm was still tightly wrapped around his, but he could feel it slipping away.

Katherine walked out of the shadows, and Stefan had to admit it to himself, she was more stunning than before. But there was one thing missing – her angelic face. Face she was wearing only for him, face she stole from someone else, face she was wearing when she was pretending to be someone else. He was trying to hide his thoughts, but he had a feeling Elena can see right through him. She was trying to pull her hand from his grip, but as she was trying harder, it was harder for him to let go of her. In one moment he looked at her with a corner of his eye, and he saw her hurt and confused look locked on his face. He had put his hand on hers, and in that moment, she stopped trying to pull her hand from his.

„Missed me?" – Katherine asked as she started walking closer to Stefan.

Elena had to admit, Katherine was beautiful. She was sexy, and confident, and she knew how to handle herself. She was everything Elena wasn't. Her big, brown locks were falling all over he shoulder. She had beautiful brown eyes that were shining in the darkness of the night. She had a light face expression, but the smirk she constantly wore on her face made her look devilish. High heels she was wearing were making a loud sound on the concrete with every step she made, and the tight clothes she was wearing perfectly showed every curve on her body.

„What are you doing here, Katherine?" – Stefan asked while trying to keep his voice calm.

„I missed you" – she pouted and came closer.

Elena wrapped her arm around Stefan's tighter. Stefan threw a doubtful smile her way, and Elena asked herself how is it possible that Stefan is so calm in this situation.

„Didn't you miss me?" – her eyes went mellow.

Stefan laughed again. „No, not really" – he said coldly.

Katherine's evil face expression appeared on her face again as she transfered her look to Elena. She checked her out from head to toe as Elena squeezed closer to Stefan.

„Yes" – she said through her teeth – „I've heard you're with someone else now" – she transfered her look back to Stefan.

Stefan pulled Elena closer to him. „Yes, I am" – a smile curved up in the corner of his lips. It wasn't something he was planning to do, but every time he remembered he's with Elena, he had to smile.

„I have to admit, that does bother me a little" – she exhaled.

„Well Katherine, that's really not my problem" – pronauncing her name was like swallowing acid. The pain in his throat was there even after her name escaped his lips.

She looked at him sharply. He glanced at Elena who was studying Katherine. He reached for her hand and intertwined his fingers with hers, and pulled her after him as he started walking in the direction they were headed to in the first place.

„I'll see you around" – he could hear Katherine giggling behind them. He could hear the sound of her giggle in his ears long after he was sure she's nowhere near them.

They were walking down the road for few minutes in silence. And it wasn't a good type of silence. It was a silence that could break down all the walls. Elena kept squeezing his hand with hers.

„Do you still want me to go to your place?" – she asked silently.

Stefan stopped walking and looked at her. He was trying to catch her look, but she kept staring at the ground. He had put his finger under her chin and lifted her head up.

„Why are you asking me that?" – he furrowed his brows.

„Because of what happened earlier" – she was being a jealous, insecure freak, and she knew that.

He sighed. „There's nowhere I would rather be than laying next to you, with my arms wrapped around your waist" – he cuddled her cheek with his thumb.

She had to smile just by thinking about it. He had put his hand around her waist and she leaned her head on his shoulder, and they started walking towards the boarding house.

Yes, she was a jealous, insecure freak. But she was his jealous, insecure freak. And he wouldn't exchange her for anything in the world.

**xxxx**

Stefan and Damon were sitting in the library, sipping their drinks in silence. It was so quiet in the house. It was like that for few days now. Lexi had to go, although she wasn't glad leaving Stefan with Katherine in the same town. Elena was not comfortable with Katherine being in the town. Although they haven't seen her since the night she jumped them on the way home, just knowing she was there complicated things. And no matter what Stefan told Elena, she couldn't stop thinking about one part of him still being in love with Katherine. She couldn't stop thinking about one part of him still pining over her, wanting her, needing her. Stefan did everything in his power to prove her wrong, but he also knew that when Elena gets something in her head, there's no easy way to convince her otherwise. They weren't spending as much time together as usually, and when they did, both of them felt awkward. So Elena started making excuses. On the other hand Bonnie was worried what Katherine being there might do to Damon, and she thought that the best day to deal with it, is to leave him alone. House was quiet without them there. Stefan and Damon were quiet without them there. They were lonely, but most of all, they were unhappy.

„Salvatore brothers, closer than ever" – they heard a familiar voice coming from the hallway.

Both of them lifted their heads up only to see Katherine leaning towards the wall. Damon was stunned with her. The last time he saw her she was wearing a long dress that barely showed her figure. And now she was standing there in tight black pants, high heels, purple top and black leather jacket. She definitely didn't look like Katherine he used to know.

„Katherine" – Damon smirked.

„Hello Damon" – Katherine started walking towards him with a satasfied expression on her face. „At least one of you is happy to see me."

Damon laughed out loud, which made Katherine look at him sharply.

„What do you want, Katherine?" – Stefan asked with a huge grin on his face.

„Come on Stefan, we both know what I want" – she turned her head around to look at him. She walked towards the chair he was sitting in, leaned down and pulled her finger over his chest. „Don't you remember how much fun we used to have? You enjoyed sneaking into my bedroom in the middle of the night" – she smirked as she remembered the times when she had Stefan all for herself.

„You and me have two different meanings of fun" – he slapped her finger from his chest.

She pouted her lips. „You were in love with me, Stefan. And I was in love with you" – she looked him in the eyes. „I still am" – she giggled as she stood straight.

Damon laughed. And he laughed only to hide the pain. He was ashamed to admit it, but after all this time it had still hurt him. Her loving him not as much as he loved her. He resented Stefan a long time for Katherine loving him more. He's done with that now.

„I don't think you know what love is" – Stefan said irritated.

She wrinkeled her forehead. „And you do?"

All he needed was one look to answer her question.

„Now when Elena showed it to you?" – she said through laughter. „You really think she knows what love is? What will happen in few years when she realizes you two have no future together? How will she react when you go through your ripper phase again?" – she crooked her eyebrow.

Stefan gave her a confused look.

„Why are you surprised? Do you really think I haven't kept my eye on you over the years?" – she smiled at him.

Damon sighed loudly at Katherine's poor attempt to throw Stefan of his game. Katherine looked at him.

„And you, sweet Damon" – she said with a serious voice – „Falling in love with a witch?" – she smirked. „That's exactly like you. Doing something you shouldn't be doing. That's why you fell in love with me, because you knew you shouldn't" – she never came close to Damon as she did to Stefan.

„The difference is, I'm happy with her" – Damon was trying to keep his cool.

„That's okay" – she shrugged. „I didn't come back for you anyway" – she smiled and turned her head around to look at Stefan.

Stefan. Of course she came back for Stefan. Damon didn't understand why after all this time she still had this ability to rip his heart out with few words. He was sure he doesn't love her anymore. He was over her. But the memory of her had hurt him more than words could ever explain. Sometimes he wished he could erease the memory of ever meeting her, of ever beeing with her. But there are times when he was glad he had those memories, because experience with Katherine had tuaght him something.

She started walking towards the doors. „Oh Stefan" – she yelled over her shoulder. „Give my regards to Elena" – she giggled as she walked out of the door.

Stefan and Damon looked at each other. Both of them knew this day will come sooner or later. They knew they will see Katherine again. But they never thought they'll have something to lose with her showing up in their lives again.

**Sorry it took me so long to update, my finals are coming up so I had a lot of work to do. And I'm sorry this chapter is kinda short, but to be honest, it's only a bridge for what will happen in the next chapter. But be sure to tell me what you think in the reviews! :)**


	17. Chapter 17

„Stefan, that tickles!" – Elena screamed as she tried to escape Stefan's grip.

Elena realized she's acting like a child. She was punishing Stefan for something he didn't have a control over, and while punishing him, she was punishing herself. Stefan loved her, she knew that. There didn't a day go by that he didn't tell her, or show her his love for her. And she loved him, more than anything in the world, she loved him. Being separated from him for few days made her feel like few lifetimes passed her by. She felt connected to Stefan, and time spent without him, she felt like someone ripped one part of her and left it on the other side of the Earth. And she could feel that part beating with all the strength it had, but she was too far to reach it. And she felt helpless, and she was in despair. She realized Stefan helped her achieve all the things she couldn't achieve by herself. He showed her how to be strong, truly strong, both from the outside and from the inside. He helped her find her inner beauty, and most of all, he showed her that she deserves to be loved. And he had woken up one part of her that fell asleep the day she was born. The part that opened itself to the possibility of loving another person with your whole heart and soul, taking all of them in, with no regrets.

„I know it does" – he smirked as she squirmed into his arms.

When she decided it's time for her to stop acting like a child, she drove to his house and rushed into his hug. He welcomed her with his arms wide open, just like she knew he would. Even if a century passed without them seeing each other, he would welcome her with his arms wide open like they saw each other yesterday. Like nothing changed.

„Oh, so you like seeing me in pain?" – she grabbed his hands with hers and held them tightly above her skin, so he can't tickle her anymore.

Stefan took her to the lawn in front of the boarding house. It was a beautiful, summer day and Stefan knew how much Elena loves those. She loved sitting in the sun, taking in every beam it dropped on the ground, and she looked beautiful while doing so. She looked like a careless child, laying in her short, floral summer dress in the grass, with her eyes closed and sunglasses on the top of her head, while her long, brown hair covered the grass around her.

„No" – he shook his head, pulled his hands from her grip and wrapped around her waist. „I like seeing you smile" – he planted a small kiss on her cheek.

A smile appeared on Elena's face as she made herself comfortable in his hug. She relaxed her body and fell on his torso with all of her weight.

„What do you think, what kind of life could we have had?" – she closed her eyes while lowering her head to place it on his chest.

„Elena.." – he painfully exhaled her name.

His voice was hard and muffled, and the pain she could sense in it was equal to the pain of someone stabbing him in a chest with a stake covered with vervain. For a moment there she forgot Stefan will have to live without her too. And he'll have to live without her much lomger than she'll have to live without him.

She turned her head around and placed a finger on his lips. „Don't, Stefan" – she said silently. „Just think about it" – she said with a pleading look before turning around and placing her head on his chest again.

„I wanted to be a doctor" – he said after few minutes of silence. „Back when I was a human, I wanted to be a doctor" – he pulled his fingers through her hair. „Quite ironic now, eh?" – he laughed out loud.

„I want to be a writer" – she said silently. „Since I was little, I wanted to be a writer. My mom bought me a diary when I started school, and from that moment, I've been writing down my thoughts. I must have a dozen hand written diaries stashed in my room" – a light smile appeared on her face.

This was the first time he heard her talking about her dreams, about her wishes for the future. That reminded him she's a human girl with her whole life ahead of her, that the world is waiting to be conquered by her. And she had so much to give. She could be an amazing mother, she could be someone's inspiration, she could change the world. And he wasn't planning on keeping her from at least trying to achieve any of those things.

„One day, I would kidnap you from your every day life and take you to Paris. I would show you everything worth seeing. You would be amazed by the city lights, and how alive people are. We would eat at the best restaurants. And in the end of the day, when the clock ticks midnight, just in the middle of one day ending and the other one beginning, I'd kneel down on one knee, and propose to you" – Stefan closed his eyes as well and surrendered himself to imagination.

He had left Elena speachless. His words seemed like a reality to her, and the picture of him doing so was so close that she had a feeling she has experienced it before. „I would say yes, of course" – she giggled. „We would move into a small apartament, big enough for just two of us, and we would stay there until we get our diplomas, after which we would buy a big house, just a little outside the town, with a huge backyard and a white picket fence" – she reached for his free hand and intertwined her fingers with his.

„We would marry in late August. One the beach. Everything would be white. White chairs covered with white, silk sheets, white roses.." – he squeezed her hand into his.

„That sounds nice" – Elena said when she imagined herself in a white dress going down the aisle to meet Stefan. „After we get our diplomas, I would get pregnant with our first child" – she smiled.

„First?" – Stefan gasped. „There would be more than one?" – he laughed out loud.

„Yes" – he could feel Elena rubbing her head on his chest. „Three girls and a boy. Do you have a problem with that?" – she crooked her eyebrow.

„No" – he shook his head while laughing. „As long as they turn out exactly like you, I wouldn't care how many of them there are" – he kissed her on the top of her head as she laughed.

„And what would happen then?" – she asked.

„Then? We would live happily ever after" – he pulled her closer to him.

She sat on his lap, turned around and smiled at him lightly. She cupped his face and kissed him on the lips.

„Oh, how cute, you two actually think you have a future together" – they heared a familiar voice coming behind them. A voice that made both of them jump on their feet.

„Katherine" – Stefan rolled his eyes at her presence. She saw that and giggled.

Stefan pulled Elena closer to him, so that she would know, nothing Katherine says can change the way he feels about her.

„Is it fun?" – Katherine was there to stir up trouble, as per usual. „Pretending that you're a human when you're with her" – she came closer to Stefan and whipped Elena with her sharp look. „Tell me, what happens in a decade, or two, when she grows up and realizes you can't give her any of the things she actually wants" – Katherine played with his thoughts.

Elena looked up at Stefan. He looked like his head is going to explode. But Katherine was right, what does happen then? Do they say their goodbyes? Will everything be simple as that?

„She can't stay with you forever. She doesn't want to. She wants a fairytale. And the only thing you can give to her is a nightmare" – she came one step closer to Stefan, when she saw his eyes are being filled with tears. „But I can. I can stay with you until the world ends. I can take care of you" – she bit her lower lip.

Stefan furrowed his brows. „You only know how to take care of yourself, Katherine" – he said with a painful voice.

Katherine's face expression became serious, but she didn't look like she's about to give up. „She will never understand you. What you are, who you are, how much you love her, need her. She will have a life, and she will be happy. Sure, she will miss you, but she will never understand how much you miss her" – Katherine smirked.

And Katherine was right again. For a long time, Elena wasn't aware Stefan was even capable of love. Maybe she still isn't. Katherine grinned as she caught doubtful look on Elena's face.

„You and me Stefan, we're the same. I can give you everything she can't. Everything she doesn't even dream about giving you" – she raised her hand to touch his face.

But he was faster. He grabbed her hand in air and grabbed her tightly. „Katherine, go away" – he said sharply.

Katherine smirked. She knew she messed up with his thoughts. With Elena's too. It was written all over her face. „I'll be seeing you" – she turned around and started walking away. She knew her work there is done.

Stefan loosened his grip that was holding Elena close to him. Few moments later, he couldn't feel the closeness of her body anymore. He was glad Katherine is gone. But she took away one important thing with her. Fantasy they were living in.

And just like that, every dream they ever had stop existing.

**xxxx**

„I don't understand the hold she has over you" – Bonnie raised her voice at Damon.

„And I can't explain it" – he was trying to outvoice her.

„If you can't, who can?" – there was a tiny bit of despair in her voice. She was tired of seeing Katherine lurking in his shadow every time she looked at him.

He shrugged.

They always did this. They could never have a normal conversation. One of them always had to start shouting, like the other one can't hear. And the other one had to start shouting louder, because both of them were stubborn beings who liked to hold power in their hands. Stefan and Elena kept telling them they're like an old married couple, bickering over what kind of tooth paste are they going to buy, just for the sake of bickering. Because that's something they always did.

„She didn't just hurt me, Bonnie" – he lowered his head down. „She destroyed me. She left me more broken than I was before meeting her" – he sighed. „You didn't know me before."

„Then let me" – she said silently as she sat on the bed next to him, putting her hand on his.

„Are you sure you want to?" – a smile curved in the corner of his lips.

She had put both hands on his face and made him raise his head up. „Yes" – she said while looking him in the eyes. „I want to know everything. Good and bad, happy and sad" – she carassed his cheek with her thumb.

He nodded. Be the truth is, he didn't even have to tell her anything. All she had to do is to look into his eyes, and she could see every story he had to tell her. Everything he did, she did too, and everything he felt, she felt too. She was there for him, every step of the way, even before she came into this world. Even before he ever dreamed of meeting someone like her. Because when you're meant to be with someone, you exist in them. You give a little of yourself to the other person, and you live in them, before your existence, and after your existence. Because when you're meant to be with someone, you're one soul separated in two bodies because of the cruelty of the nature.

He lowered his head and pressed his forehead on hers. He rested his head on hers for few moments. „You're the only woman I ever truly loved" – he whispered.

Bonnie raised her head to look into his eyes. Damon never said that word. He never talked about that word. Love. Such a small word, but it seemed so big. She knew Damon feels for her, but love seemed bigger than both of them.

She caught fear in his eyes.

„What about Katherine?" – she finally asked.

He laughed lightly. „Never mix obsession with love."

She leaned over and gave him a kiss on the lips. He could feel a smile forming on her lips while pressing them next to his. She detached her lips from his and placed her head on his shoulder.

A long time passed before either of them said anything.

„Damon" – she whispered his name.

„Yeah?" – he asked while sinking his face into her hair.

She raised her head and placed her mouth near his ear. „I love you too" – she said silently.

He took her by the shoulders and detached her body from his. She looked into his eyes, and there was no more fear. A smirk appeared on his face.

„What? Can you repeat that? I don't think I catched that one" – he pulled her into a tight hug and started kissing her cheek.

„I love you" – she shouted through laughter.

To Damon, there was nothing more precious than hearing those words coming from her mouth. He had put his finger on the strap of her top and tried to uncover her shoulder, but she stopped him.

„Not now" – she waved her finger in front of his face.

„Oh come on witchy!" – he fell on the bed.

„Be careful Damon, I can still do that thing when you feel like your brain is on fire" – a huge grin appeared on her face.

„You're not going to do that" – he smiled and shook his head.

„Oh yeah?" – Bonnie crooked her eyebrow. „And why is that?"

„Because you love me" – he said with a sweet voice, pointing out the word love.

She most certainly did.

And she planned on loving him with everything she had for however long they had.

**xxxx**

You never forget the day when your heart breaks.

Elena came to Stefan's room with her eyes full of tears. By this point, he got used to seeing her cry. Elena was a very emotional person, she cried over every single thing. He thought that's the part of her charm.

„I can't do this anymore, Stefan" – she said through tears.

„Do what, Elena?" – he was confused. And he was concerned. He was trying to get closer to her, but she wouldn't let him. He wanted to wipe the tears from her face, but she wouldn't let him.

„I know you love me" – a tear rolled down her cheek. „But I don't believe you when you say you don't love her anymore" – her voice was muffled.

„Katherine?" – he asked confused.

She simply nodded while more tears started rolling down her face. His heart broke just by seeing her in that condition.

„Elena, I don't feel anything for her" – he had a serious expression on his face. „I never did" – he shook his head.

He started walking towards her, but with the every step he made, she took a step back.

„Please, what can I do to prove it to you?" – a first tear rolled down his cheek. He was scared. He was scared of losing her.

She wiped the tears from her face with the end of her sleeve. „Nothing" – she shook her head.

„Elena" – he stretched his hand out to her.

„You never forget your first love, Stefan" – she was sure of it. She's never going to forget him. „How am I supposed to compete with that?"

„Elena, please don't" – more tears rolled down his cheek as he realized they're near the end of the road.

„It's over Stefan" – she turned around and ran away from his bedroom.

He could have run after her, but what good would that make? He would probably only make the situation worse. He hated Katherine. He hated her for showing up and filling Elena's head with nonsense. But he didn't have too much time to hate Katherine. All of his time was spent on sadness and despair Elena's words caused.

You never forget the day when your heart breaks.

And a vampire never forgets that the same person that made you happy as a human can make you suffer as a human.

**Breaking Stefan and Elena apart broke my heart, but nothing can be honey and milk all the time. I added some fluff in the beginning to make the fall in the end hurts less. What do you think, will Stefan and Elena find their way back to each other, or will Katherine find her way back to Stefan's heart? What about Damon and Bonnie? They finally said the L word! Be sure to let me know what you think in the reviews!**


	18. Chapter 18

_I never knew love can do this to a person._

_It was easier when I didn't believe in it. It was easier when I was struggling with the loss of my parents and with the fact Matt hates me for dumping him. When I had to deal with my best friends being a witch and a vampire, and with my brother flunking math. It was easier when the hardest thing I had to do is to put a stake through vampire's heart._

_It was easier when I didn't believe in love. When love was only a word, or a tale from Caroline's stories. It was easier when it represented nothing more than a chemical reaction created by brain. It was better that way._

_I never dreamed that love can make you so much more than you are. That it can make you feel so special and so irreplacible. Fearless and independent and sure in yourself._

_I never believed Caroline when she said you cling to the person you fall in love with more than you cling to your own mother. And that you need them more than you can ever imagined needing anyone. It sounded silly, coming from her mouth. It made her sound weak, it made her sound like a child. But then I discovered love, and I realized I feel the same way Caroline said I will. But it didn't made me feel weak, it made me feel strong._

_And now I realize why. Love is a dangerous game, and you need all the strength in the world to surrender yourself to another person like that._

_I never knew love can do this to a person. I also never knew losing that love can do this to a person. Leave them feeling so empty and alone. So vulnerable and naked. So.. ordinary._

_I curse the day Stefan Salvatore came into my life. I curse all the happiness he brought into my life, and I curse the love he gave to me. Because he made me feel like I'm on the top of the world._

_But the worst thing is, I can't blame him for losing everything. I can't call him a cheater or a pig, I can't eat the whole carton of ice cream or watch a movie that will rip my heart and soul out, because none of this is his fault. It's mine._

_It's been a week since I broke up with him. I haven't seen him forever since. First few days he was calling every couple of minutes, but I kept avoiding his calls. Eventually, he gave up. I curse the day when I fell in love with him, because it made me feel like I'm on the top of the world. And now, a week later, I'm not even on the bottom. I'm deep in the hole underground._

_I'm not special or irreplacible. I'm not fearless or independent or sure in myself. Love only made me feel that way._

_And now when love is gone, I'm only Elena. Ordinary and replacable. Scared and addicted to others and I'm looking down on myself._

_And I miss that love, because it made me feel good about myself. It made me feel like a winner. But now when it's gone, I realize love is merely an illusion._

**xxxx**

Elena heard a knock on her bedroom door.

„Who is it?" – she shouted with a muffled voice, uncovering her head from under the blanket.

Her bedroom door opened a little, and a blonde head appeared.

Elena kindly smiled at Caroline, giving her a sign that she can come in. She wasn't the best person to be around for the past week.

Caroline smiled back and came into the room.

„I come bearing gifts" – she announced while lifting a carton of ice cream in the air.

Elena sat up on the bed and a small smile curved on the corner of her lips. She had to smile at Caroline's persistance to cheer her up.

„Thank you, but I don't feel like eating ice cream" – she yawned and tapped with her hand on the bed, gesturing Caroline to come and sit next to her.

A smile disappeared from Caroline's face. „But it's your favorite" – she looked at the box and frowned.

„I appreciate it, but I'm not hungry" – she smiled lightly.

Caroline sat on the bed next to Elena and sighed.

„So" – Caroline began to speak – „Tyler is throwing a party tonight. I was thinking, maybe you could come with us" – she raised her head to look at Elena hopefully.

Elena shook her head even before Caroline finished her sentence. „No" – she pulled a smile over her face so Caroline wouldn't take her turning down the invitation so hard. But Caroline frowned as soon as she heard the word no. „I'm going to curl up in my bed with a book and a cup of tea."

Caroline began to shake her head in disapprovement. „You can't keep doing this, Elena" – she had put her hand on Elena's. „It's been a week. Either talk to him, or move on with your life."

Elena thought how Caroline is not the best person to her relationship advice. It took her months to admit it to herself she has feelings for Tyler, then more months to tell everyone she's seeing him.

„I think being surrounded by people might be good for you" – she cuddled her hand.

Elena knew Caroline only means well, but she was nowhere near ready to be around people. She would only bring people down. It's only been a week, and Caroline was acting like it's been a year.

A few minutes passed before either of them said anything.

„How is he?" – Elena asked while lowering her head down.

Caroline didn't say anything, so Elena lifted her head up only to see stunned expression on Caroline's face.

„It's okay Caroline, you don't have to pretend you're not seeing him" – Elena laughed. „I'm not asking you to choose sides. He's your friend" – she found it sweet that Caroline was so scared of her reaction.

„I know that he's been calling you and that you didn't even want to pick up" – Caroline said with a judgmental voice.

„Did he also tell you that he stopped calling?" – Elena asked, raising her voice up at the word stopped.

Caroline nodded. „I was the one who told him to stop."

Elena looked confused at Caroline.

„I told him when you're ready to talk to him, you will get in touch with him" – Caroline shrugged with a concerned face expression, afraid she did something wrong.

Elena smiled lightly when she Caroline's worried face expression, which Caroline took as a hint that she didn't do anything wrong.

„Anyway" – Caroline got up from the bed – „If you change your mind, you know where you can find us" – she threw her hands in the air as she kept walking to the bedroom door.

„You know, you never answered my question" – Elena said through light laughter.

Caroline sighed. „He's the same as you're Elena. He's pretending the problem doesn't exist by ignoring it."

**xxxx**

Stefan was lying on his bed with a book in his hands. He had to distract himself somehow, although the book didn't help. Somewhere in the middle of the page he would start thinking about Elena, and he would have to start reading all over again. He have read 5 pages in one hour.

He had missed Elena so much. She got into his bloodstream. He was almost two centuries old, but with her he felt like a child. She was a stone that he was chained to.

„You look so sexy on those silky sheets" – he heard a voice from the other end of the room.

„I don't remember ever inviting you here" – he replied sharply when he recognized Katherine's voice.

„That's okay, I invited myself in" – she giggled.

He sat on the bed. He had to laugh when he saw her smiling face. Katherine was like a hurricane. She passed through and left everything broken behind her.

„How are things going with Elena?" – she sat on the bed next to Stefan, playing with the end of his shirt.

He looked down at where her fingers were meeting the top of his sleeve and he pulled his hand in a rush. He raised his head up to look at her. „I think you accomplished what you wanted to accomplish" – he furrowed his brows.

She clapped her palms. „Oh goody, now I can have you all for myself" – she shouted like a little child.

Stefan looked at her confused. He couldn't tell is this some game she's playing, or is she for real. She saw the confusion on his face, so the smile on her face disappeared.

„You don't think I'm capable of love, do you?" – she lowered her look.

This wasn't a game for her. She was being serious, but she was hiding her true intentions behind her bitchy personality, as always.

„I know you're capable of love" – he said. She looked up and a sparkle appeared in her eyes. „But I don't think you know what love is" – he continued.

„And you do?" – she asked angrily.

„In fact, I do" – he said confidently.

„Because of Elena?" – the tone of her voice changed. He could even sense a hint of pain in it.

„Yes" – he replied.

„Do you really think she knows what love is?" – she got up from the bed and raised her voice at him.

„Do you?" – he shouted. „Did you think I couldn't fall in love with you if I knew what you were? You had to compel me, play games with me? But that's not even the worst thing" – he kept on raising her voice.

„And what is?" – she asked curiously.

„The fact you gave up on us" – he was ashamed to admit.

But it was the truth. The truth that needed to be said. He always wondered what would have happened if she stayed. If he woke up as a vampire and she was there.

„I loved you Stefan. I still do" – she practically whispered, like she's admiting it to herself.

„No Katherine, you love yourself" – he said through his teeth.

She crooked her eyebrow. „Do you really think this thing with Elena will work? You and me, we could be together forever. I could show you that I know what love is."

„Katherine, I wouldn't change one day with Elena for an eternity with you" – he said with a calm voice.

And after a long time he had seen Katherine's angelic face again. Face that was sincere, almost human. And he could read every hint of pain she experienced in that moment. After a long time he had seen Katherine vulnerable again.

„You really love her, don't you?" – she asked silently.

„Yes" – he nodded.

„Then I'll leave."

„Just like that?"

„Just like that" – she turned around and started walking towards the door.

„Why" – he asked.

„Because I have time. And I have hope you'll change your mind" – she giggled.

He rolled his eyes.

„And I don't want to waste my time making someone love me when they clearly won't" – she left the room before he could see her face expression.

Maybe this is what he needed. Her letting him go so he can let her go.

Maybe this is their closure.

**xxxx**

_Love. Love can make you experience wonderful things. It can take you on adventures, and it can give you a home. It can give you sanctuary and cuddle you like a scared animal in the time of thunderstormes. Love can make every one of your dreams come true, no matter how long it lasts. Love can be the best thing to happen to you._

_But love can also leave you in despair. It can suck every drop of energy from your body, and it can turn your mind into a restless sea. It can make you weak and it can drop you on your knees and mock you until you feel shame._

_As much as love can be wonderful, it can also be cruel._

_I wish I can say I wish I never met Elena. I wish I can say she is the memory I want to be taken away. But she isn't. She gave me something precious._

_She is my salvation, my redemption, and she doesn't even know it._

_She is everything that is good in the world, and she represents everything good that is left in me._

_A week without her is like a century. I dream of her face, and her touch is so familiar on my skin that sometimes I can sense it on me. It takes me a while to realize she's not actually near me. I don't even have to dream about her being by my side because she's part of me. She's always with me. She always has been._

_I don't know if Caroline is right, I don't know if I should leave her alone. What if she forgets about me? What if she moves on? What if I lose her? What if I have to say goodbye to her before I planned?_

_I remember when I was a child. Me and Damon were playing a game with a ball with bunch of other boys near our estate. One time, the ball had hit me so hard on the chest that I lost my air supply for a moment. I thought I will die. I remember that feeling, how is it to be without something that keeps you alive._

_What air is for a human, Elena is for me._


	19. Chapter 19

Stefan stopped counting how many time it passed since the last time he had seen Elena. Was it three weeks, or a month? He knew if he remembered the exact amount of days he hasn't seen her for, he would go crazy. Every time her name crossed his mind, he would feel this painful human feeling in his chest, where his heart used to beat. He thought if his heart was still able to beat, it would stop the very instant he remembered Elena, or it would fly through his chest, so it could be set free of pain. He was thankful for his strength because he didn't know how humans deal with this kind of pain, and he didn't remember do they even experience it in this amount.

Caroline was trying to cheer him up, but every time she came of, he could feel Elena's scent on her. He never asked her to go away because a selfish part of him would close itself from the world and imagine Elena sitting there, and the other part of him didn't want her to leave because he enjoyed her company. She always wore a smile on her face, and she was extremely cheerful by nature. She really did remind him of Lexi, and it was good to have someone like her around there, since Lexi had her own life to lead. He rarely left him room when he heard Bonnie was there, because their encounters were awkward. But unlike Caroline, Damon knew the best approach to help Stefan is with silence. He would pour him a glass of skotch, tap him on the shoulder, and sit next to him. They would spend hours in silence, sitting and sipping their drinks. He couldn't say which approach was better, Caroline's or Damon's, because each of them made him feel better for a moment, but neither was able to take away the pain.

Stefan looked out of the window and saw a beautiful, summer day outside. He knew Damon was out with Bonnie, spending every second of every day with her, because he didn't know how much they have left.

He decided to go outside, maybe take a walk in the woods. The day reminded him about nothing else but his days spent with Elena. When the first beam of sun touched his skin, that's when Stefan realized the pain is never going away.

She's the love of his life.

No matter what he does, he could never forget her. He doesn't want to. It would be wrong to say she got under his skin, because she embodied everything he is. She shrinked herself and reached every blood cell in his body, spreading herself through his whole being. She wasn't only under his skin, she owned his soul, heart and mind. She's the love of his life, and there's no moving on from that.

She's his everything.

**xxxx**

Elena was sitting on her bed, nervously tapping with her foot on the floor. She was bored. Out of her mind bored. School was over, her finals were over. She got accepted to Mystic Falls University, because that's all that she could afford. Jeremy was on summer vacations with his friends, Bonnie was with Damon and Caroline was with Tyler. But even if all of them were there, she knew she wouldn't be satisfied.

Because something else was missing. Someone else was missing.

„Screw it" – she said to herself before putting her flats on and grabbing car keys from her dresser.

She got to her car as fast as she could and started driving into direction she knew she is supposed to drive to. Streets were full of people, but all of them were on their feet, or driving their bikes. Soon enough she stopped herself in front of the boarding house and got out of the car. She could feel sun dropping down on her bare shoulders. She could see Stefan on the entrance to the woods. She didn't have to call for him, she didn't have to say anything, he turned around as soon as she stepped out of the car. He could always feel her presence.

They stared at each other for few minutes, both of them being unable to speak. His eyes locked on hers and saw the same amount of pain and regret he was feeling.

„I don't know what I'm doing here" – she finally said while throwing her hands in the air.

Stefan smiled lightly and lowered his head down.

„Bonnie told me that she's gone" – she started playing with her fingers.

„Yes" – Stefan nodded while keeping his head lowered.

„So tell me" – her voice started getting teary – „do you love her?" – a tear rolled down her cheek.

Stefan raised his head up. „After everything, how can you ask me that?" – he asked in disbelief.

„How could I not, when you never give me an answer?" – she started walking towards him with more tears running down her face.

„No" – he shouted. „I loved her once. I loved her long time ago. I loved her until I found out who she really is" – he was standing still as she kept making tiny steps towards him.

„So you stopped loving her because she was a vampire?" – she frowned.

He laughed and shook his head. „I said until I found out who she really is, not what she is" – he had a feeling like she's not listening to him. Or like she doesn't understand him.

She closed her eyes and lowered her head down.

„And you don't believe me" – he said with a heavy voice.

„I don't what to believe in, Stefan" – her voice was muffled. „I only know that I feel like she has some hold of you. Like one part of your heart will always belong to her, no matter what she did, or does" – tears kept streaming down her face.

„Do you know what I was doing for the past month? Trying to get rid of you from my system. You're like this disease that got into my bloodstream, and you're spreading all over my body. And sometimes it gets so hard that I think I would die if I wasn't already dead" – he was raising his voice after every spoken word. „And the worst thing is, I don't want to get better. I want to carry this pain with me because it's the only fresh reminder I have of you. The only person who has the hold of me is you" – he could feel his eyes filling with tears.

They didn't even notice the sky closing on them. Clouds were grey, and all of a sudden, everything became dark. Elena felt the first raindrop on her skin. Soon, rain started pouring down, and both of them were wet. Elena's dress tightened around her body.

„Let's get you inside, you're going to catch a cold" – Stefan shouted so he could outvoice the rain drops falling on the ground.

„I don't care" – she yelled. „I've been feeling dead for weeks now, anyway" – he couldn't make a difference between the tears and rain falling down her face.

„Now what?" – he asked with a tired voice.

„I love you, Stefan" – her knees startled trembling. „I love you more than I ever loved anyone in my life, and I don't think I'll ever love anyone the way I love you. And that scares me, that I won't ever feel like this again. I'm afraid that when you leave one day, you'll leave me broken like this" – she cried.

And he knew what she's talking about. He knew he will have to leave one day, and the despair he's going to feel will only become bigger with time.

„So I need to know it will be worth it" – she continued. „I need to know that you love me."

„You doubt that I love you?" – he gasped. „I'm almost two centuries old, and you're the only woman that I ever loved. You're the only one I wanted to love" – her words had hurt him.

He saw her eyes going mellow upon hearing his words. He took a few steps closer to her.

„I lived so much longer than I was supposed to. And when I met you, I finally thought I found my purpose" – rain drops were falling on his face, covering his lips. He watched her tremble like a leaf. „I walked through so many lifetimes only to find you."

She looked devestated in the moment. She looked hurt, and she looked like she's in pain. But she was complete again. And in that moment, the only thing he wanted to do is to hold her. So he did, he made few steps forward, with his eyes locked on hers, and he took her in his arms and planted a soft kiss on her lips.

When she felt his touch on her skin, she stopped trembling. She couldn't feel rain pouring on her skin anymore, she didn't feel cold or wet. The only think she could feel was his touch putting her skin on fire, making her forget everything that was going on around her.

He pulled his lips away, because he wasn't sure was he supposed to kiss her. Does she want to be kissed. But in the very instant he pulled them away, he catched the needy look in her eyes. She had put her hand on the back of his neck and pulled his head closer to kiss. And this time, she kissed him. But she didn't give him a simple peck on the lips. She kissed him passionately, and she kept holding her hand on his neck so he wouldn't even think about backing down.

They were standing in the rain for few minutes, with their arms around each other, kissing like they never kissed each other before. Rain was falling on them, making their skin colder and weter than it was before. Elena's dressed shrinked around her body, leaving her legs entirely exposed. Her hair was glued to her face. Stefan's shirt tightened around his body, so Elena could feel his strong torso while pressing her body next to his.

Elena had to detach her lips from his because she was short of air. She rested her forehead on his, while he kept holding her into a tight grip. She raised her head up to look at him and bit her lower lip. He smirked. He had put his hands on her hips and lifted her up. She had put her legs around his waist and her hands around his neck and started kissing him the same way she did few minutes ago. He carried her all the way across the lawn to the house. They were leaving wet marks all over the hardwood floor, and water was dripping of their clothes. But they didn't mind, and they didn't care. They were lost in each other. Nothing else existed but them and never ending moment they shared. He carried her all the was upstairs to his bedroom, and in reward she never separated her lips from his.

He had put her gently on the bed. But Elena was burning up. She spent a month without him, she wanted him, she needed him. She wasn't interested in gentle. In a hurry, she pulled her dress from her body, leaving herself in nothing but her panties and her bra. With her finger, she called him to come closer. She giggled as he got on his knees and started crawling on the bed to reach her lips. But she made him stop. She grabbed the bottom of his shirt, pulling it up. When she left him shirtless, she pulled him closer to her and kissed him.

But he wasn't interested in kissing her lips anymore. He started kissing her neck, going down her chest, until he finally reached her stomach. He knew where she likes to be kissed, on which spots he should put his lips so delicious shivers go all over her body. While he was planting kisses over her stomach, he was playing with the hook of her bra until he finally unhooked it. She giggled while pulling her fingers through his hair.

„My Stefan" – she whispered.

And he was hers. She owned him, emotionally and physically. And that's how he liked it. He liked being hers because that's meant there is a place he belongs. And there's not a place he would rather belong to than the one by Elena's side.

She closed her eyes and let herself enjoy the adventures he was taking her body through.

„Can I call myself yours too?" – she asked while bending her body in the direction of his kisses.

„Always" – he said in a pause between the kisses.

When he reached the top of her panties, he started going back up. That's her Stefan, always viewing her like a scared and innocent child. Afraid of leaving her naked and vulnarable. Like he isn't the man who took her virginity away, like he isn't the only man she had ever slept with.

So she took them off all by herself. She didn't have any time to argue with him, or to teach him a lesson. She only had time to remember that she needs him.

And he needed her, more than he needed anyone.

„I missed you so much" – she said silently before releasing a loud moan. She had put her hands on his back, where he could feel fingernails lightly piercing into his skin.

„I missed you too" – he removed the lock of her hair that was falling over her eyes.

Elena never felt closer to anyone that she did to Stefan. Especially in times when they made love. When she had a feeling she's melting into him, and that they're becoming one.

When she had a feeling her heart beats for both of them.

**I was thinking should I bring Stefan and Elena back together, so in the end I thought, what the hell, let them be happy. Leave your opinions in reviews!**


	20. Chapter 20

**For those of you who asked was the last chapter the end, well obviously, it's not. I'm not that far away from the end, but there are still some things I need to work through.**

Summer flew by in a second. It seemed like only yesterday they have been celebrating passing all of their finals and getting into college. When Elena turned around all she was left with were beautiful memories of an unforgettable summer. She thought her summer before college will be wild. Her, Bonnie and Caroline were planning monthly trips over the country, but that never happened. Things changed. They changed. Their lives changed. And for the first time in her life, Elena was okay with staying in one place for the whole summer. As long as she had Stefan by her side. With Stefan she didn't care where she is or who else is there. As long as she had him, she was as complete as a person can be.

She knew Stefan would do anything for her when he agreed to go swimming with her. Damon wasn't into swimming, but luckily for him, neither was Bonnie. They were the oddest couple she knew, so she thought they must be doing something.. odd. There were days when they were enjoying hot, summer days outside, and then some days they didn't even leave his bed.

Elena promised Jeremy she will spend a week with him in Denver, visiting their family. Elena stumbled into her room, dragging her suitcase after her and rubbing her eyes. She was exhausted from the trip since she had to drive all the way back to Mystic Falls. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun and she was wearing pink sweatsuit. She fell on the bed and closed her eyes, ready to fall asleep. But she couldn't, no matter how hard she tried not to miss him, she did, and the thought of him was keeping her awake. She hasn't seen Stefan in a week. They heard by phone every day she was gone, but that wasn't even nearly enough for her. She knew she won't be calm until she feels his touch upon her skin and his lips on hers. She knew she won't be calm until he holds her in his arms.

She got up from the bed, grabbed her keys, and without even changing sat into her car and started driving towards the boarding house. And he was waiting her there, in front of the house. She saw him standing in front of the door, with his hands on his back, patiently looking into the direction her car should appear from. He knew she would be there. When he saw her car approaching, he appeared in front of it, opened her car door, and when she got out he grabbed her and started twirling her while kissing her cheek. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her hands around his neck, rested her head on his and laughed. She felt like she hasn't seen Stefan in years. And she wondered how will she feel when years really do pass by without her seeing him.

She dismissed those thoughts because they were too depressive. She raised her head from his and kissed him on the lips. She could feel his lips curving into a smile while she was kissing him.

„How was your trip?" – he asked while dropping her on the ground.

„Exhausting" – she said while yawning. She wrapped her arms around his waist as they started walking towards the house.

„So why aren't you sleeping?" – he asked worried.

She raised her head to look into his eyes. „Because I had to see you" – she said siltently.

He smiled and lowered his head to give her a peck on the lips. They walked in that position towards his room, she wrapped her arms around his waist, and he wrapped his around her shoulder. When they reached his room, Stefan laid on the bed on the bed, and Elena laid next to him, putting her head on his chest. She fell asleep in matter of few seconds, as soon as she felt his body being close to hers.

**xxxx**

Elena woke up in the middle of the night, fully rested. The room was completely in dark, there were no traces of moon sneaking in the room since Stefan pulled the curtains over the window. She saw the lines of Stefan's face in the dark. He was laying in the bed, next to her, sleeping. She had put her head back on his chest and felt his bare skin. She had put her hand on his stomach, pulling it up and down, enjoying the feeling of his strong torso upon her touch. She tried to fall asleep again, but she couldn't. She was wide awake and sleep was the lasting thing on her mind. She uncovered herself and got up from the bed. She noticed that she's still wearing her sweatsuit. She frowned because she could feel her skin burning under. She took it of and she was left in nothing but a plain white shirt and panties. She craweled back to bed next to Stefan and snuggled next to him. But being naked next to him only made her skin burn more than before. She had bit her lower lip and carefully sat on top of him. She lowered her upper body on his, put her hands on his shoulder and started kissing his neck.

„Mmmm" – he moaned sleepily.

„Wake up, sleepy head" – she murmered between kisses. She was kissing his neck, then went down to his chest before going back up to his neck again.

He had put his hands on her back to pull her closer to him. „It's the middle of the night" – he said silently.

She had put her hands on his back. He could feel her fingernails going deeper in his skin. „Are you really going to say no to me?" – she stopped on one spot on his neck she knew he especially likes. „After a week?" – she sinked her nails deeper in his skin.

„Ouch" – he jumped a little. Not from pain, but from surprise that she would even think of doing something like that. That she could be so rough.

She raised her head. „Did I hurt you?" – she asked confused. She knew he can't get hurt so easily.

„No" – he shook his head.

She lowered her head and started kissing his chest. „I can be your nurse" – she said between kisses. „I can make you feel a lot better" – she kept going down his chest to his stomach.

He laughed out loud, wrapped his arms around her and sat on the bed. She was sitting in his lap, her legs wrapped around his waist. He started kissing her neck while she rested her head on his.

„Say you love me" – she said while breathing heavily. Stefan's kisses could send her to a state where she's not aware of anything that's going around her. His kisses on her neck, mixed with his fingers pulling her bra straps of her shoulder so he can plant kisses there too, were a powerful combination where she had no control over her own body. She simply relaxed into his arms, letting him do anything he wants to do, because she trusted him. She knew every move he will make will be the right move.

He squeezed her tighter in his hug. „If I tell you I love you, can I keep you forever?" – he asked as she bent her body so he can start kissing her chest.

„Yes" – the word escaped her lips. „I want to be with you forever" – she said while clinging stronger to him.

She could feel his smile on her skin. Knowing she would do that if she was able to made him happier than he ever was.

He could feel her hands on his face, trying to raise his head up.

She cupped his face and looked him in the eyes. „I don't think you understand me" – her eyes locked with his. „I want to be with you forever" – she whispered.

He realized at what she's aiming at. The smile fell of his face.

„No" – he shook his head in disbelief.

Elena frowned.

„You're not going to make an irrational decision in the moment of passion" – he was angry she even brought up this subject. That he showed him, even for a second, she's ready to give them a chance to be together forever. He knew she was caught up in a moment, and that words simply slipped her mind. He was annoyed, but he still held her tightly, close to him.

Elena furrowed her brows. „I'm not making an irrational decision, I've been thinking about this for a long time" – she raised her voice.

He looked at her seriously. He didn't know she was thinking about that. She never told him, or talked to him about becoming a vampire. Even though that thought crossed his mind many times, he never took is seriously. He never considered it being a possibility. But from the moment he met Elena, he never considered anything being a possibility with her.

„I don't want that kind of a life for you" – he shook his head. „You should grow up, start a family, have children, have a career" – he lowered his head while holding his arms on her back. He could feel her spine on the top of his fingers.

Few minutes passed before either of them said anything.

„Don't you want to be with me?" – he heard a teary voice coming above him.

He raised his head up fast, looking at her eyes full of tears.

„Of course I do" – he removed few locks of hair from her face. „But I want you to live your life more" – his voice was hard and distant.

„And what good is living my life if I can't share it with you?" – first tear rolled down her cheek and fell on her lips. He romoved it with his thumb. „With anyone, actually" – she lowered her head down. „Bonnie is a witch, Caroline is a vampire, Tyler is a werewolf. Matt left town, and so will Jeremy next year. I will have to spend my life looking over my shoulder because I know too much. Because I know it's not safe" – she raised her head and caught his look locked on her face. „And then there's you" – she cerassed his face. „I'm never going to love anyone the way I love you. I'm never going to stop loving you, and living without you would break me eventually. I could never be completely happy without you" – another tear rolled down her cheek and disappeared on her lips.

„What about Jeremy?" – he asked. He knew that would affect her. Leaving the only family she has left. It should affect her, because she herself was tired of feeling alone and losing people.

„Jeremy understands" – she nodded. She talked to Jeremy about that on their trip. First, he was against it, he was furious. But as they kept talking about it, he understood. „Please don't leave me, Stefan" – her head fell on his. He could feel her tears on his face. „Please don't make me live without you" – she begged as she wrapped her hands around his neck.

„I can't offer you life, Elena. I can only offer you death" – he said while holding her loosely.

„You make me feel alive more than anything in this world. I don't need air to live" – she said while trying to stop her tears.

They stayed in that position for a while. The silnce in the room was heartbreaking for both of them. For the first time her skin was cold while pressing next to him.

„Fine" – he said after few minutes of being silent.

She raised her head and a smile curved in the corner of her lips. „Yeah?" – she cupped his face.

„Yes" – he cried. He wasn't sure why, though. From happiness, or from sadness?

„I want you to turn me" – she said while resting her forehead on his.

„Do you really think I could kill you?" – he asked horrified.

She raised her head. „Yes" – she said determined. „But first" – she tilted her head and removed the hair from her neck. „I want you to drink from me."

„What?" – he asked in disbelief.

„Come on, Stefan" – she pulled her fingers over the left side of her neck. „I want to know how it feels like."

He turned his head, but was distracted with her tapping on her neck with her fingers. He turned around and looked her in the eyes, and found a familiar amount of approvement in them. So he lowered his head and put his lips on her neck. He had planted a kiss on it before sinking his fangs into it. At first, she felt nothing but pain. Pain of his teeth pirecing through the skin of her neck. He pulled his finger over her spine, making her relax. She closed her eyes and her body relaxed in his thight grip. A strange euphoria rushed through her as she felt blood being drained from her. And in a moment it felt.. nice. Exciting. She knew she's making him feel good, and that made her feel good.

He pulled his fangs out of her skin, and when she opened her eyes, she could see her blood on his lips. And the only thing she wanted to do was to kiss him, but she felt too weak to do it. She could see him piercing his own wrist with his fangs and giving it to her to drink. She could feel her strength coming back as his blood floated through her. He removed his wrist from her mouth and her head fell on his shoulder.

„I can't wait for forever to start" – she said before closing her eyes again.

„Goodnight, my love" – he whispered into her ear.

He had put his hand on her neck, and snapped it in a second. The horrid sound of her neck snapping stayed in his ears for a long, long time. He wipped his blood from the skin around her lips, but her blood stayed smudged on his lips. He was holding her half naked body in his arms for hours. He could feel her skin going cold. He cried several times, thinking about what he did and why he did it, but he had never let her go.

Then she finally woke up.

And the first thing she could feel were his fingers intertwined with hers.

**So here you go. I was thinking about what I'm going to do with the two of them. And I guess that today, I was in a mood to give them their happy ending. To make them be together forever. I hope you like it. Be sure to leave me your opinions in reviews!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Thank you for your reviews. From what I saw, a lot of you were taken back by her decision, and how unexpected it was. When I decided to turn her into a vampire, which wasn't something I planned, I wanted to do it before explaining why. Because that's life. We make irrational decisions we may or may not regret, but we have to live with them every day for the rest of our lives either way. I wanted to write their opinions, as well as the opinions of the people around them, later. When everything is said and done, when no one can protest or try to twist her mind. I wanted Elena to make that decision in a moment when she's her true self - when she's with Stefan, and when nothing else exists. Plus, I love writing their thoughts, so that's a plus to why I decided to write the opinions after everything that has happened. I hope this chapter sheds some light on you.**

_Dear diary,_

_if a year ago someone told me I'll ask my vampire boyfriend to make me a vampire, I would laugh in their face. A year ago, I hated vampires. They were everything that was wrong with the world, and I could blame them for everything that went wrong with my life. And then, I fell in love with one. When I did, I realized I know nothing about vampires. I knew only what my parents told me, and they were told the same stuff by their parents. I'm not one of those people who crave for eternal life and who worship those who walk in the dark. No, I know all the dangers of becoming a vampire, and when I asked Stefan to turn me, I knew exactly in what I'm getting myself into. So, there's one simple answer to the question why I did what I did. Love. There are different kinds of love. Love should consume you. It can consume you in a bad way. It can consume you until it destroys you, leaving you broken and naked in front of the world. That kind of love leaves you blind to all the wrongs. And then, there is love that consumes you in a good way. That surrenders your body, mind and soul to another person, and that makes you complete whenever the person you love is near. That love can destroy you by it's absence, but it can also make you the happiest person in the world by it's presence. That's how Stefan makes me feel. He gives me happiness in the purest sense imaginable. He makes me complete and he makes me feel things no one ever did. Things I never thought I could feel in the first place. I don't think I could ever live without Stefan. It's not that I depend on him or that I would kill myself if he ever left me. It's not about me being emotionally weak. But without him, I would never be truly happy. I'd probably marry, have children, lead someone else's life, but I would never be as happy as I was with Stefan. And that wouldn't be fair either to me nor to the people who would be in my life._

_My friends were surprised by my decision. Shocked, even. Caroline didn't know what to say and Bonnie cried for hours. Alaric is still not willing to talk to me. And even though Jeremy gave me his blessing, he looks at me weird. They think my decision was rash. But the truth is, I've been thinking about it for a long time. I've been thinking about it since the moment I realized I'm in love with Stefan. But I didn't say anything to anyone, except myself. Stefan never considered turning me into a vampire a possibility. I was afraid of saying it out loud, because I was afraid what my parents would think about me. What would aunt Jenna think about me? All the people I knew, who's lives were taken away by vampires, what would they think about me? About the fact I want to become one. About the fact I want to die._

_Because I died. I am dead. I am no longer existing, by human rules._

_When I look back at it, my decision was kind of rash. Even though I thought a lot about becoming a vampire, I never decided I want to become one. But when I found myself in Stefan's arms after a week that felt like a year, I realized I don't want to spend another day of my life without him. It's a decision I don't regret, no matter how rash or irrational or stupid it was. I would do it all over again if I had a chance to._

**xxxx**

When Elena, for the first time, opened her eyes as a vampire, she could feel her body being as light as a feather. She was almost weightless, like she had no form. Her skin was freezing cold, but for some reason, that felt normal to her now. She could feel Stefan's eyes on her, she could see his teary eyes with the corner of her eye, and she could feel him holding her in his arms. She tried to gasp for air, but she didn't need it. She had no breath. It was like she forgot to breathe, but without that unpleasant feeling in her throat. She reached for Stefan's hand and grabbed it with hers. She needed something familiar on her.

„Elena?" – after few seconds, she could hear him calling her name.

She straightened her upper body and sat on the bed. Everything felt different. Not good different, not bad different, just.. different. He had put his hands on her shoulders and moved closer to her.

„How are you feeling?" – he asked concerned. She could tell he's barely keeping it together. He was only few seconds away from his voice cracking entirely.

„I don't know" – she shrugged. And she didn't know. She felt like she has just been born. Everything around her was new and unfamiliar.

„I'm so sorry, Elena" – she could hear his whispery voice. „I should have never done it. No matter how hard you begged" – she turned around and saw tears streaming down his face.

His face looked almost angelic. His big green eyes were full of tears, hiding pain and regret behind half broken glass. His skin was soft, and his lips were rose red, decorated with tears that looked like icy raindrops. She never thought what this might do to him. How will he live with this. Knowing he killed the one girl he ever loved.

She had put both of her hands on his face and made him raise his head. She had noticed his skin is warmer than hers. „Why are you saying this?" – she asked while her eyes were raditing full support.

„I turned you into.." – he looked down her body and noticed she's still only wearing her bra and her panties. He frowned and pulled a blanket from the bed and put it around her shoulders. She could feel her skin getting warmer. „This" – he finally finished the sentence. „No one should do this to another person, especially not to someone they love" – he rubbed her shoulders with his hands. His voice was cracking.

„You did it because you love me" – she raised her voice, annoyed with his regret. „I don't regret anything, so why should you?" – she asked, trying to keep her voice still.

He shook his head lightly and teared his look away from hers. Next thing he could feel were her arms around his neck. He could feel her cold skin pressing next to his body. She simply rested her head on his shoulder.

„I love you so much" – she started talking. „Until I met you, I was just a girl. A child. Blaming everyone else for my own mistakes, pushing people away, afraid to face the reality, always trying to find excuses to what happened in life. I never thought I'm something special. I never thought I'm beautiful or smart or sexy or desireable. But you made me realize all those things. You made me special. Because alone, we're just two people, but together, we're extraordinary" – he could feel her lips pressing on the skin of his neck. „And I want that for the rest of my life, no matter how long it lasts. And I know it will last for a long, long time, because I have you. You'll protect me, you'll keep me safe, and most importantly, you'll make me happy. I only hope I'll be able to return the favor."

He had put his hand on the back of her neck, playing with her hair. He planted a kiss on her cheek, and she thightened her hands around her neck.

„Stefan?" – she said silently.

„Yeah?" – he responded, twirling a lock of her hair around his finger.

„I'm kinda hungry" – she said while furrowing her brows.

A smile curved in the corner of his lips.

**xxxx**

„I can't believe you're a vampire" – Caroline yelled while throwing a bowl of popcorn on the bed.

Elena smiled and threw few popcorns in her mouth.

„You haven't heard from Bonnie?" – Caroline asked, sitting on the bed next to her.

Elena's face expression became serious all of a sudden. She lowered her head down. „No" – she shook her head.

Caroline almost slapped herself for asking that. She patted Elena on the back. „Don't worry, she will get over it."

Elena raised her head and smiled at her.

„But I'm curious" – Caroline said while curving her lips – „Not that I'm not glad you're going to be my friend forever" – she giggled at the fact – „How come you decided to become a vampire?"

Elena sighed. She was not sure she can explain it to Caroline when she barely explained it to herself. „It's hard to explain Caroline" – she smiled lightly. „When you're with Tyler, do you ever feel.. eternal?" – she asked.

After few moments of preocessing the thought, Caroline nodded.

„That feeling comes only once in a lifetime. And I never want to stop feeling like that" – she smiled at Caroline's curious face.

Caroline smiled back because she understood. She really did. She knew Elena lost a lot of people. She wouldn't be able to lose Stefan too.

„How's the sex like?" – Caroline asked straight forward.

Smile disappeared from Elena's face. She frowned. „Actually we haven't had sex since I turned" – she admitted while looking at her nails.

Caroline was shocked. „But you turned.."

„A month ago" – Elena finished her sentence. „I think Stefan is not done adjusting" – she willed herself to smile.

„Adjusting to what?"

„To my heart not beating."

**xxxx**

„You know, you won't be able to keep avoiding Elena forever" – Damon said to Bonnie while she was laying in his arms, playing with the fingers of his right hand.

„I know" – Bonnie sighed and kissed one of Damon's fingers before releasing his hand to casually drop over her shoulder.

„Are you mad at her?" – Damon raised his eyebrow.

„No" – Bonnie shook her head, rubbing it to his chest. „Just confused. I can't believe she's a vampire. I mean, she's my best friend. We talked about growing old together and raising our children together" – Bonnie could feel tears grouping in her eyes.

„When you love someone, you want to be with them forever" – Damon kissed the top of Bonnie's head. He would be glad to spend his eternity with Bonnie. He would treat her like a queen, he would give her her own kingdom and her reign would never end.

„I don't think I could ever do that" – she said silently.

Damon felt something he didn't feel for a long, long time. Unbearable pain in his chest.

**xxxx**

_I will hate myself forever for what I did to Elena. I did something I promised myself I'm never going to do. I promised I'll protect her from every harm, death included. I promised I'll make sure she lives her life in the best way possible. I vowed to never harm her, and now, I was the one to take her last breath._

_In a moment of weakness. Forever seemed so.. attractive._

_I was something I swore I'll never be with her. Selfish. I couldn't bare the thought of losing her. Of ever not having her by my side. And that's something I'll have to live with for the rest of my life. For the rest of her life._

_That's something I'll never forgive myself._

_But in the end of the day, what's done is done. And she's the woman I love. Spending an eternity with her wouldn't be long enough._


	22. Chapter 22

Elena was sitting on Stefan's bed and going through some fashion magazine Caroline left when she came to visit. Or should she call it their bed? She was spending a lot of time in the boarding house, going to her own house only for the change of clothes. And most of that clothes was in Stefan's wardrobe now. She wondered will she and Stefan spend the whole eternity in that bed, in that house, in Mystic Falls. She wanted to see the world, but she didn't say anything. She knew he's been wandering for almost two centuries, and that in Mystic Falls he finally found his home. She didn't want to leave yet, anyway. Not with her friends still there, well and alive. She didn't want to say goodbye to them. She was planning on going to college. She was planning to be Elena Gilbert, 18 year old human girl, for a little while longer. Until everyone else stop being who they are now.

She asked Stefan to go and buy her ice cream. No matter who or what she is, her love for ice cream will never fade away. She found it strange, though. She thought she's not going to feel food cravings anymore, now when she's a vampire. But she could still feel it, the taste of ice cream in her mouth. Especially when she was sad, she would remember how she used to drown herself in a box of ice cream, and she would want to do it again. She thought that being around everyone she was around when she was a human and being in a familiar environment made her think that she's still one of them. That nothing changed. And to her, nothing did. She wished she could say the same for people around her. She was sitting on his bed in nothing but her panties and plain white shirt. Since she turned, she started feeling more free, more sexy, more beautiful. As a human, she would never sit on her bed, dressed like that, risking someone coming into the room and seeing her like that.

She heard footsteps on the stairs leading to Stefan's room. She smiled, closed the magazine and jumped from the bed, thinking it was Stefan.

„Thank God, I'm - " – she stopped in the middle of her sentence when she came to the door and saw Bonnie standing there. Bonnie checked her out from head to toe, surprised by her clothing choice. She knew Elena would never parade around the house in her underwear, not even if she was home alone. „Bonnie?" – Elena whispered, questioning Bonnie's presence.

Bonnie crooked her eyebrow and curved her lips into a light smile. „I got you this" – she said before putting her hand in the pocket of her bag and pulling out a necklace. Elena's eyes grew bigger when she saw what Bonnie was holding in her hands.

„My mother's necklace" – she took it from Bonnie's hand and carefully examined. „I thought I've lost it" – after few moments she raised her head to look at Bonnie.

„I asked Caroline to snatch it up from you" – Bonnie smiled, but Elena had a confused look on her face. „So I can put a spell on it so you can go out by day. I figured out, if there's one thing you would be willing to wear for an eternity, it's this one" – she pointed to the necklace in Elena's hand.

„Thank you" – Elena said with a teary voice, barely stopping tears from running down her cheek. She wanted to hug Bonnie, but she didn't know would Bonnie like that. After few minutes she finally gave in and put her hands around Bonnie's neck. She was glad when she felt Bonnie's hands wrapping around her waist. She had let Bonnie go from her hug and looked at her with her big, brown eyes. „You're not mad at me anymore?" – she asked, full of hope.

Bonnie frowned and shook her head. „I was never mad at you, Elena. I was confused" – she looked Elena straight in the eyes. „I didn't understand why would you throw your life away. I still don't" – she furrowed her brows.

„I did it for - "

„Stefan, I know" – Bonnie interrupted her in the middle of her sentence.

„I was planning to say myself. Yeah, I did it for Stefan, but I did it for myself too. So I can be happy" – she shrugged her shoulders, thinking Bonnie doesn't understand what she's trying to tell her. „Wouldn't you do the same for Damon?" – she asked. She knew Damon would never ask her to do that. He was too much of a gentelman for that.

„No" – Bonnie shook her head. „The only person I would do it for is myself, and I don't think I'll ever want to live eternaly. I can't" – Bonnie lowered her look down.

Elena had put her hand on Bonnie's shoulder. Bonnie could feel Elena's cold touch on the bare skin of her shoulder. „I know, you're a witch. It's against everything you believe in. You were born as a witch, and you will die as a witch. You're going to have children, and they're going to be witches too" – a tear rolled down her cheek when she remembered what she's missing on. That was a first tear Elena shed for her humanity.

„If this is what you wanted, why are you crying?" – Bonnie asked confused.

Elena turned around and walked to the bed. She sat down and released a loud sigh. „It's Stefan" – she said.

„What about him?" – Bonnie sat on the bed next to her.

„He won't touch me, Bonnie" – she cried out.

Bonnie looked at her in disbilief. They never discussed Elena's sex life. Elena wasn't the one to talk about what's going on in her bedroom.

„Before, he couldn't get his hands of me. And now, he's treating me like I'm made of glass, like I'm going to break if he squeezes me too hard" – she lowered her head and started playing with her fingers.

„How long has it been?" – Bonnie looked at her frustrated friend.

„More than a month" – Elena released a loud sigh.

„Since you.. turned?" – Bonnie's voice was muffled, especially while pronauncing the last word.

Elena looked up and nodded.

„Well, maybe you should let him know you're not going to break that easily" – it took all the power she had to be supportive about this subject.

„How?" – Elena raised her eyebrow.

Bonnie giggled. „I'm sure you will find a way."

Elena laughed out loud, crossing her legs on the bed. She had put her hand on Bonnie's. „You know, I'm really glad you're here" – she squeezed Bonnie's hand with hers.

Bonnie smiled lightly and leaned in to hug her.

**xxxx**

After Bonnie left, Elena came downstairs to feel sunlight on her skin again. She stayed dressed as she was before so every ounce of her skin can feel sun on it. She was standing on the front door, waiting for Stefan to return. After couple of minutes of waiting, she saw him coming out from the woods with a box of ice cream in his hand. When he saw her standing exposed to the sunlight, he almost dropped the ice cream in hurry to get to her.

„Elena, what are you doing?" – he raised his voice, trying to push her inside the house.

Elena was giggling while trying to fight him of. She was able to do that now. „Bonnie was here" – she said, pointing with her finger at the necklace she was wearing.

Stefan had let go of her when he realized he's holding her way too firm. He didn't care how strong she was, he promised himself he won't even do anything to harm her again. „She had put a spell on it?" – a smiled appeared on his face.

She nodded happily as she turned around and started skipping to the stairs.

„Good" – he said, watching her go upstairs.

„Come on, I want my ice cream" – she yelled for him to follow her.

He smiled as he felt the ice cream melting in his hand. He followed her as she took a turn to his bedroom. As he came in the room, she grabbed a box from his hands, opened it, and put her finger in it. She scraped a little bit of ice cream of the top, and gently carried it to her mouth. He could hear her sucking it, and he knew it gave her a tingly feeling on her fangs. She was looking him right in the eyes and smiling at him. Finally, she had released her finger and scraped more ice cream with it, carrying it to his mouth.

„Want some?" – she giggled.

She looked so perfect. Her long, brown hair falling all over her back. Some locks were misplaced on her shoulders, finding their way to her chest. Her eyes looked glassy, and her lips were so red. He could see the bitemarks on her lower lip, remembering that is something she often did. Bite her lower lip. Her cheeks were red, and a smile on her face only made it more brighter.

He shook his head. „No" – he released a silent answer, passing her by and sitting on the bed.

She had put the box of ice cream on the table in a furry. „God Stefan" – she screamed. „What is wrong with you? Why are you treating me like this?" – she asked determined to find an answer.

He lowered his head because he knew what she's talking about. He knew what's bugging her.

„You can't even look at me, let alone sleep with me" – she cried out, annoyed.

„Of course I can't when you're like this" – he raised his voice at her. He raised his voice at himself more than he did at her, because it was his fault she is the way she is.

„Is this how I'm going to spend an eternity? With you by my side, by so far away from me?" – he knew tears are rolling down her cheek this very instant. He could create a mental image of her hand going up her head and trying to cover up the existance of tears on her face. „And this.. this is who I am now. Am I really that much different?" – she made few steps closer to him.

„Yes" – he said silently. He raised his head to look at her. That is a down side of knowing someone so well. When even the smallest detail on the changes, you notice.

She bit her lower lip. They kept staring at each other for few moments.

„I'm Elena Gilbert" – she started talking. „We met in front of Mystic Grill. I tried to kill you" – she smiled at the memory. „When you touched me for the first time that night, I felt something, although I was too scared to admit it to myself" – she had put her hands on the bottom of her shirt and pulled it over her head, standing in front of him in only her bra and panties. „I fell in love with you long before I admitted it to you or anyone else, myself including" – she had put her hands on her back. „I loved you even before I knew you, and I will always love you" – she unhooked her bra and let it fall down her arms on the floor. „I became a vampire because you're the only person in this world who could ever make me truly happy. One person I don't want to live without" – she pulled her panties down her legs, stepped out of them and pushed them with her foot on the other side of the room. He had looked her in amazament, standing there in front of him, naked. „You're the only man who ever saw me like this. You're the only man I've ever been with. And I don't regret that. I'm enjoying the fact I've been yours and yours only. So tell me, am I really not the girl you fell in love with?" – she twirled once in front of him.

„It's gone" – he said silently.

„What's gone?" – she frowned.

„Your scar" – he pointed on the place on her hip where her scar used to be with his finger.

She looked down and saw it's really gone. It must have healed once she became a vampire. She looked up at him, and a smile appeared on his face. He got up from the bed and came closer to her.

„But you're the exact same girl I fell in love with" – he had put his hands on her hips and pulled her closer. He lowered his head and kissed her on the lips. Kissed her like he used to kiss her. And like he hadn't kissed her in a long, long time.

She pulled his shirt up his body and in hurry unbuckled his pants, pushing him on the bed. She climbed on top of him, but as soon as she felt her skin melting with his, her body relaxed and she had let him roll her over and climb on top of her.

She was ready to drown in him.

**xxxx**

„Does this hunger ever go away?" – she asked while making herself comfortable on his shoulder, drawing little hearts on his chest with her finger.

„No" – Stefan smiled, pulling his fingers through her silky hair.

„Will I always want to kill everything that moves?" – she furrowed her brows, not liking the idea.

„Pretty much" – he sighed.

„So, what's stopping me?" – she asked curiously, like a child.

„You know it's not right. You know you would look down on yourself after doing it, and so would people around you. So you keep telling yourself to be strong" – he kissed the top of her head.

She was thankful she has Stefan to guide her through everything. Now she understood how Caroline felt. How she felt at the moment her and Stefan found her in the woods, with blood smudged over her lips. And her heart broke for Caroline, because she had to go through it alone.

Stefan caught Elena staring through the window.

„What are you thinking about, pretty girl?" – he asked her while pulling her closer to him.

„Are we ever going to leave Mystic Falls?" – she asked.

„Why? Do you want to?" – he asked confused.

„Yes, one day. When everyone are.. gone. I would like to go somewhere else. But I didn't want to say anything, because I know that after all this time you finally found your home again" – she sighed.

He lowered his head down and planted another kiss on the top of her head. „Home is wherever you are."


	23. Chapter 23

Elena was sitting on the floor of Stefan's bedroom, going through the first book she checked out from the University library. Few days ago, next level of her education started. Although she will never have a use from it, she decided to join her friends, and to play a part in a life that's not hers anymore. Her, Caroline and Bonnie went over to the campus to look around and get everything they need, although all of them are going to continue living in their old homes. Elena and Caroline from obvious reason, and Bonnie because she's only few minutes away from the University by car, so she doesn't see any sense in moving.

Elena never decided what she wants to be in life. She always wanted to be a writer, but that's not a profession you can learn for, that's something you're born with. You're either a writer or you aren't. Her mother used to say that a writer without inspiration is like a bird without wings. It's still a bird, but it can't fly. And it can't serve it's purpose.

But she never had a back up plan. In case her dreams don't come true, she never had second best option. She never thought about it.

She was holding her second blood bag and casually sipping from it while turning pages of thick, grey book. Whenever she found herself among people, especially the ones she doesn't know or care about, she had these strong killing urges. In those moments she remembered Stefan, and him telling her she has to fight them, which was sometimes hard. So she was drowning those urges in blood bags, as many as she could drink. She thought she's only attracted to blood directly from the human body because she never tasted it, because it was unfamiliar.

„Don't you think you had enough?" – Stefan asked when he saw an empty bloog bag on the floor near her, and another one in her mouth. He entered the room with wet hair, and nothing but a towel around his waist, which Elena always found incredibly sexy. But now, she couldn't focus on him, because she was feeling incredibly frustrated.

„I think I will know when I had enough" – she responded annoyed between taking sips. She regretted being snappy at him, but she couldn't help herself. That was the mood she was in. The second month of being a vampire fell harder on her than the first month of being one. She started doubting her decision due to her urges and her need for blood. There were good times, when she was around Stefan. He had an ability to calm her down. With a hug, a kiss, a look. But those moments were rare.

Stefan glanced at her, but she went back to going through her book. „Caroline always listened to me, and she got better" – he said with a muffled voice. He had put his shirt and pants on without looking at her.

„If you want to be with Caroline so much, then be with her" – she raised her voice after emptying her second blood bag. Tingles went through her body at the thought he might actually turn around, walk through that door and leave her all alone. But she didn't say anything, she didn't apologize. Instead, she made herself look more angry than she was. Her face was red, and she crossed her arms on her chest.

„What?" – Stefan asked confused.

„Caroline, Caroline, Caroline, it's all I've been hearing lately. Caroline this, Caroline that" – she snapped at him. Now she felt extra guilty for being jealous of her friend, because she knew Caroline would never have anything with Stefan. She loves Tyler and she would never do that to Elena. And neither would Stefan.

Stefan simply shook his head and lowered his look down while placing his hands on his hips.

„Also, I don't need to get better" – she hissed. „I'm perfectly fine."

„Oh, are you?" – he threw his hands in the air, getting closer to her.

„Yes, I am" – raising her voice even more while standing up to face him.

„How many blood bags did you have today Elena?" – he asked concerned although he knew the answer to that question.

The muscles of her face relaxed. Even the smallest hint of a smile disappeared from her face. „Six" – she lowered hear head down and replied silently. After few moments she raised her head up to look at him. „Those blood bags are the only thing stopping me from going outside and killing someone" – she said through her teeth. But she said it with an amount of helplessness in her voice.

„That's why you need to stop. You can get addicted to that blood as much as you can get addicted to killing people" – he was trying to explain her calmly.

„Do you really think you're the one who should be talking to me about addiction?" – words slipped her lips.

He raised his look and his eyes locked with hers. He looked at her with a certain amount of disbelief in his eyes, mixed with sadness and pain. When she realized what she said, she wanted to take it back, especially when she saw the look in his eyes. She couldn't believe she had used his past against him, and neither could he.

„I guess I'm not" – he gasped and lowered his head.

„Stefan, I didn't mean it like that" – she tried to get closer to him, but he backed away.

„No, no, you're right. If you ever need help, you should find someone more suitable than me" – a light, painful smile appeared on his face as he turned around and left.

She was too ashamed and too tired and too annoyed and too frustrated and too hungry to go after him. She was too everything to apologize and ask for forgivness.

**xxxx**

Caroline was laying on the bed with Tyler's arms wrapped around her. She pressed her head on his chest and closed her eyes. She felt like she hasn't slept in weeks. She didn't feel tired, vampires don't feel tired, but she felt tired of keeping her eyes opened and seeing everything that's going on around her.

„How's Elena?" – she could hear Tyler's voice above her head.

She moaned in annoyance. She wasn't in the mood to have a talk. „She's good" – she cuddled her head next to his chest. „She made a good decision" – Caroline was ready to end this conversation and fall asleep.

„I think she made a really stupid one" – Tyler said seriously.

Caroline opened her eyes at his words and got her head up from his chest to look him in the eyes. „How so?" – she frowned.

„How can she be sure their relationship will work out? She made her decision based on one thing in her life" – Tyler explained himself.

„A very important thing" – Caroline tried to defend her decision. Partly because Stefan and Elena were her friends and she knew how much they love each other, and partly because she was a romantic person, and she refused to believe that kind of love would go to waste.

„But she threw away every other thing she wanted in her life because of him" – Tyler furrowed his brows.

Carolined huffed. „Well, I guess she decided he was worth throwing all those other things" – she threw her hands in the air.

Tyler waved his hand at her.

„Are you trying to tell me you wouldn't do it for me if you had a chance to?" – Caroline asked desperately with a muffled voice.

Tyler raised his look and his eyes locked on hers. „What I'm saying, I would have to be damn sure this is going to work before I make such a huge step" – he kept his serious look.

She didn't want to argue with him. She couldn't. Her body was giving up on her. So she gave him a light smile and fell right back on his chest. She closed her eyes and thought she'll fall sleep in a second, but she didn't. Tyler's words were buzzing in her head. She thought what Elena did was really great. Sure, it was irrational and sudden and in some lines even stupid, but that's what life is. And we have to make the best of it. She risked everything for love.

**xxxx**

„I'm telling you that she wants to feed on humans" – Stefan yelled while standing up from the sofa.

„And I'm telling you that maybe she should" – Damon said with a calm voice.

Stefan furrowed his brows and lowered his look down. He couldn't believe what Damon was saying, and with such a relaxed tone.

„What do you mean?" – Bonnie jumped from Damon's lap. She looked at him sharply, and there was a bit of anger in her tone, although she didn't look angry. She looked confused, mainly.

Damon raised his head to look at her. As soon as his eyes locked with hers, his look mellowed. „What I mean is, she's curious. As a vampire, she has certain needs, doubts, emotions. You know this better than anyone Stefan. She's like a child discovering the world. You should let her, or she'll blame you for not letting her for an eternity" – Damon got up from the sofa and stood in front of Stefan and Bonnie.

„So we should simply let her kill someone?" – Bonnie asked in disbelief.

Damon laughed. „No" – he shook his head. „Be there next to her. Let her feed. But don't let her kill" – he explained, like doing that is the most common thing in the world.

„That's using people, Damon" – Stefan yelled angrily. „And we don't do that, we don't have a right to" – he sat back on the sofa and burried his face in his hands.

„Do you want her to end up like you?" – the words slipped Damon's lips.

Stefan looked up at him.

„You turned her. Her life is in your hands. The lives of other people are in your hands. You write the answer to the question will she kill or won't she kill. The way you handle her is the most important part because she trusts you, she loves you, and she would do anything for you. She became a vampire, for you, for God's sake. You're probably the reason she's not out there killing now, because she knows you wouldn't approve, and she's probably afraid you would hate her for it. If she messes up, you have to clean after her!" – Damon was yelling at his brother.

„Damon!" – Bonnie yelled, thinking Damon is crossing the line.

„No!" – Damon shook his head. „He needs to hear this" – he looked at Bonnie, then back at Stefan. „If you don't let her, she will do it by herself" – Damon lowered his voice. „And when she does, she will be scared, and confused, and she will blame everyone around her, you and herself included. Don't leave her alone like I left you alone. Be there for her like I was supposed to be there for you" – he had put his hand on Stefan's shoulder.

It was weird hearing Damon talk like this. Loving and being loved really changed him, really pushed him forward. Or maybe it wasn't about the sheer fact he was in love, but about who he was in love with.

Stefan raised his head. „What should I do?" – he asked desperately. One tear escaped and rolled down his cheek.

„Trust her. Help her. Listen to her. It's not about you or what you have been through. It's about her and what she shouldn't go through" – Damon said.

Stefan sighed, and when he was ready to burry his face in his hands again, Damon stretched out his hand.

„Come on, brother" – he smirked.

Stefan raised his head to look at him. He stretched out his hand to catch the hand of his brother. Damon pulled him up in a hug, tapping his back.

Bonnie looked at them and realized no matter what happens between her and Damon, he will never be alone. And whatever happens between Stefan and Elena, Stefan will never be alone. They'll always have each other.


	24. Chapter 24

Stefan came into his room and found Elena laying on his bed in his plain, blue shirt. It was reaching almost to her knees. He loved when she wore his stuff, he found that look best on her. There was something about her looking casual and natural that did it for him.

„Elena" – he yelled from the door. She jumped from the bed and looked at him curiously. „Get dressed, we're going out" – he had put a light smile on his face when he saw her face expression, like a child caught doing something they're not supposed to.

„Out?" – she asked confused. But she didn't wait for an explanation. She grabbed the bottom of the shirt and took it over her head. No matter how many times he sees her naked, he's always going to be taken away by her beauty. He's always going to look at her like he's seeing her for the first time.

„You said you want to feed, so let's go" – he turned around to hand her over her shirt and jeans.

Elena furrowed her brows. „You're allowing me to feed?" – she asked while taking her clothes from his hands.

„I'm not allowing you anything" – he laughed. He turned around and looked her in the eyes. „You can make your own decisions. If you think you should do it, I'll stand by you" – he said while curving his lips into a smile.

„Where's this sudden change in the attitude coming from?" – she asked while pulling a shirt over her head.

„I just want the best for you" – he smiled, grabbed her hand, and lead her to the door. When they were ready to leave the house, he turned around and looked at her. „But promise me you will be honest with me. That you will tell me how you feel and what's on your mind. No secrets, okay?" – he had a serious look on his face.

„No secrets" – she smiled happily and gave him a peck on the lips.

**xxxx**

Stefan and Elena came to the Grill and sat by the exact same table Stefan and Damon were sitting the night he had met Elena for the first time. He came to realize that table has the best view over the whole place.

They sat down, ordered some drinks, make themselves comfortable.

„Pick" – Stefan said after few minutes of silence.

„Pick what?" – Elena asked, although she had an idea about what he's talking about.

Stefan turned his head around to look at her. „Who you want to feed on" – he smirked.

She exhaled a silent 'oh' and turned her head from him to look around the place. It was filled with young people mostly. She knew almost everyone there, or at least she recognized them from school. With some of them she played as a kid, she went to their parties, some of these people were in her class. She knew their parents, their family, who they hang out with. They were people with lives and feelings, and she was about to pick one of them as a snack. Suddenly, a strange amount of guilt rushed over her body. She turned her head around and looked at Stefan desperately. His eyes were locked on her for the whole time.

„It's not easy, I know" – he gave her an encouraging smile. „All these people, with lives of their own, with family of their own" – he had put his hand on hers. „Try to find someone you don't know at all" – he squeezed her hand with his.

She tried to look around the place again, but all of a sudden, everyone looked familiar. Like she knew every person in there, like she knew their life stories. Then she saw a tall, blonde girl heading for the exit, and she couldn't remember seeing her anywhere.

„Her" – she got closer to Stefan and gently pointed with her finger at the girl who was heading outside.

„Let's go then" – Stefan had put his hand on her back and got up from the chair. He grabbed Elena's hand and pulled her after him.

The air was chilly outside. The girl was walking across the parking lot, she was heading to the bus station on the main street. She could hear whispers around her. She could feel cold air surrounding her, and someone's breath on her neck. But when she turned around, no one was there. When she turned her head around, she saw a tall girl, with long brown hair and dark brown eyes standing in front of her. She gasped in relief, convincing herself this girl would do her no harm.

„Don't be afraid" – Elena said with a calm and relaxed tone. Her pupil's widened as they locked with the girl's eyes.

„I'm not afraid. What will you do to me?" – the girl asked with barely any emotion in her voice.

„Nothing" – Elena murmured. She didn't know what else to say. She didn't know what to do next. She wanted to ask for the girls name, but she realized that's too personal. She was feeling lost. This is a completely new teritory for her. This is not a blood bag. This is a breathing, living person.

In that moment, Stefan stepped outside the shadows. Elena saw reassuring smile on his face.

„And don't scream" – Elena said with a serious face expression. Elena's pupil's widened again.

She looked at Stefan, who was standing in the back with his arms crossed on his chest, and he simply nodded at her. She knew what she had to do next. She looked at the girl, and black veins started circling around her eyes. They became dark. A moment later, she showed her her fangs. But there was no sign of fear in the girls eyes. Elena pressed her fangs on the the skin of the girl's neck. She could feel the tingly feelings going all the way from the top of her fangs to her brain. She couldn't wait anymore. She pierced her skin and felt blood rushing down her throat. It was warm and delicious, nothing like the blood from the bag. She could see why it would be so easy to get addicted to it. She could feel the girl's body relaxing as she drained more blood from her neck. Her heart wasn't beating as fast as it was in the beginning, it's rythm was getting slower and slower. After few moments, she could feel Stefan's hands on her shoulder. He wasn't pulling her away, he had simply put his hand on her shoulder, and she took it as a sign of him telling her to stop. She detached her fangs from the girls neck and pulled away, while Stefan catched the girl's slim and relaxed body. She was still concius, but she was barely standing on her feet. Stefan had cut his wrist open with his teeth and put it on the girls mouth. She started getting better immidiately. As soon as she was standing on her feet, Stefan cupped her face with his palms.

„You will go home, you will have a good night sleep, and you won't remember anything that happened" – Stefan told her. His pupils widened, and after they went back to normal, he lowered his look on the girls neck only to see the wounds from Elena's bite disappearing from her neck.

The girl repeated his words, nodded and smiled after doing so, and turned out to walk in the other direction.

He turned out to look at Elena, who was standing behind him, looking at the ground. He walked over to her, putting his finger under her chin and making her raise her head up. He pulled the top of his sleeve over his hand and raised it up to clear the blood that was smudged around her mouth.

„Are you okay?" – he asked, cerassing her cheek.

She raised her look and locked her eyes with his. They were wide and glassy. She thought he would hate her after seeing her like this. She thought he would hate her after seeing what kind of a monster she is. But the only thing she could read from his eyes was concern.

She nodded and put her head on his chest. He could feel tears rolling down her cheek after she exhaled one, silent sob.

„What's wrong?" – he pulled his fingers through her hair.

„I'm a monster" – she cried. She had put her hand on his shirt and crumbled it with her fingers.

Tears started rolling down her cheek and her sobs started getting louder. He pulled her closer to him and leaned his head on the top of hers.

„Do you hate me?" – she asked while trying to hold on to him harder.

He frowned. He detached her body from his while taking her by her shoulder and trying to catch her look with his. „Hate you?" – he asked in disbelief. „How could I hate you when I did this to you?" – he furrowed his brows. She could see another wave of guilt rushing thrugh his eyes.

„But you think I'm a monster now!" – she raised her voice.

He shook his head in a hurry. „I could never think you're a monster, Elena. No matter what you do" – he said honestly. „You're the most beautiful thing in this world, and having urges all the vampires have does not make you a monster" – he kissed her forehead.

She smiled at him and fell back on his chest. He had put his arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug.

„Did you like it?" – he asked after few minutes of silence.

Elena didn't raise her head from his chest. „Yes" – she said after she remembered her promise of being honest to him. „Is that bad?" – she asked.

He laughed lightly. „No, that's completely normal" – he had kissed the top of her head.

„So, the rumors are true" – they heard a muffled, female voice coming behind them. They didn't even have to turn around to know who it is. By now, both of them knew that voice well.

„Katherine" – Stefan gasped.

„Disappointed to see me?" – she asked while pouting.

And he was. He thought he had got rid of her forever. Or at least for few more centuries.

Then she moved her look to Elena, cuddled up in Stefan's hug. „I've heard your girl is a vampire now" – she raised her eyebrow while checking Elena out.

Stefan looked at her confused. How could have she possibly know that? Katherine catched his confused look and laughed.

„What?" – she giggled. „Do you really think I would leave town without leaving anyone to keep an eye on you?" – she came closer to him, but he stepped back with Elena in his arms.

„Let's go home" – he lowered his head and whispered in Elena's ear, not tearing his look away from Katherine. He could feel Elena nodding her head on his chest.

He grabbed her by her hand and started walking towards the boarding house. Soon enough, he could feel her snuggling by his side, like a scared animal. He had to smile at the fact how fearfull she really is, and how lost she still is. She will learn, somehow she will learn.

**xxxx**

„That was nice" – Bonnie said between kisses she was planting on Damon's chest – „What you did for Stefan" – she came close to his neck, but she didn't kiss it – „And Elena, of course" – he could feel her breath on his skin.

He had put his hands on her shoulders, rolled her over and placed himself on top of her. „He's my little brother" – he lowered his head down – „I have to give him some guidence" – he tried to kiss her lips, but as soon as he closed his eyes, he could feel Bonnie rolling him over and sitting on top of him.

She would never let him be in control. She liked to be the one who kept the strings in her hands.

„Also, someone once told me he's the only family I have left" – Damon said before Bonnie lowered her head down and kissed him on the lips.

He could feel her lips curving into a smile on his. „And who that wise person might be?" – Bonnie asked while smiling.

„Oh, you wouldn't know her" – Damon waved his hand.

Bonnie raised her eyebrow and smirked.

„This girl" – Damon smiled while looking Bonnie in the eyes. „She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen" – he had put his hands on her back and unhooked her bra. Then he had put his finger on his lips and made a 'shh' sound. „Don't tell her I told you that."

He watched as Bonnie's bra fell down her arms.

„Tell me more about her" – Bonnie lowered her head and started kissing his chest.

„Gosh, she's amazing. She can put a smile on my face without even trying. She's fierce. And strong. Sometimes stubborn" – Damon could feel Bonnie's nails on his back. „But that's the part of her charm" – he corrected himself while laughing. „And I'm so.." – he stopped in the middle of the sentence.

„So what?" – Bonnie raised her head to look him in the eyes.

A smirk appeared on Damon face. „So madly in love with her" – he smiled.

A wide smile appeared on Bonnie's face. She bit her lip and lowered her head and rested it on his chest.

„I love you, Damon" – she planted a kiss on his chest.

„I love you too witchy" – he said before kissing the top of her head.


	25. Chapter 25

**Replying to the person who said they think Bonnie loves Damon more than Elena loves Stefan. You have your own opinion, and I respect that, and I'm perfectly fine with that, because when I started writing this I had no intention in bringing Bamon in so I'm glad it turned out well. But, I never said Bonnie doesn't want to be a vampire. Well, she doesn't, but neither did Elena. Nobody wants to be a vampire. But Elena didn't want to lose Stefan. She didn't want to lose yet another person, someone who is that important to her. And like I pointed out in her conversation with Caroline, she didn't do it for Stefan only, she did it for herself too. She didn't want to wake up when she was 30 to have to say goodbye to Stefan, to live the rest of her life without him, and 10 years later wake up unhappy, living life she never wanted for herself. Bonnie wants to spend an eternity with Damon as much as Elena wants with Stefan, but unlike Bonnie, Elena wasn't chained to anything. Other than being a human and a girl and someone's friend, or lover, she's also a witch. And being a with is a gift, and she has to respect that gift, living her life, serving her purpose, so she can give back everything she was given to. Bonnie being with Damon is sort of a rebellion to who she is. It's there to remind her that she's not just a witch, she's also Bonnie. And being with Damon was not something a with would do, but it's something Bonnie wanted to do.**

**xxxx**

_I am a monster._

_I look myself in a mirror, and that's all I can see. A vicious, blood hungry monster._

_And if I see myself like this, he must to. He sees me as a monster. Even though he denies it every time I ask him am I a monster to him. He saw my face covered in someone else's blood, how could he not see me as a monster?_

_Sometimes I catch him staring at me. I can't read any kind of an expression on his face while he's doing so. No love, no happiness, but no pain, or regret, or disgust either. He's simply staring at me, that sometimes I think he's actually looking through me._

_I'm not the girl he fell in love with anymore. I'm not that sweet, innocent, defensless girl who was melting upon his touch that night on the parking lot in front of the Grill. I'm not that person anymore, so why would he love me? Just because I'm Elena, and just because he loved me once?_

_I'm afraid. I'm afraid of waking up one day and not finding him next to me. I'm afraid of feeling empty and lonely again. I thought I won't ever have to feel like that, now when I'm a vampire. I thought me turning will solve all of our problems. But it hasn't. It only made our problems worse and bigger._

_I couldn't imagine myself living without Stefan, but I can't imagine myself being dead without him either._

_I guess there is no me without Stefan, no matter how sad or pathetic that sounds._

_He's so close to me, but so far away. He touches me as he used to. And he kisses me as he used to. He holds me and sometimes even looks at me like he used to. But when I lean next to him and try to connect our thoughts, when I try to make our minds live in one body, I can't. Because I can't find him anywhere. He's out of my reach._

_There were times when I felt so close to him. When I would give up everything to be with him. Now I feel like I don't have anything to give anymore. Like he stripped me of everything, and left me shaking in the middle of an icy room, naked. And now when I don't have anything to give, he doesn't want me anymore. I know it's wrong to think like that, because I know he loves me. I understand that now, how powerful vampire's love is. But I can't help myself._

_I had a dream the other night. We were in a ball room, and we were the only ones there. He was wearing a tux, and I was wearing a big, white gown with sparkles on it. We were dancing for hours, but my feet didn't hurt at all. I wondered why, so I looked down and saw I wasn't dancing at all. He was carrying me. My feet were on his, and he was dancing for both of us. He looked me in the eyes, and the way he pierced into me made me melt into his arms. And in that moment, I felt closer to him than to anyone else in my whole life._

_I want that feeling back. I want to feel like he's mine, and like I'm his, and like nothing in the entire world can stand between us._

_But I'm not too hopeful of getting that feeling back. It's been a long time since I was his Elena, and since he was my Stefan, and since we felt like we had the whole world under our feet._

**xxxx**

„You got better at this" – Stefan said, while he was sitting on the bench in the park, looking at Elena slowly sucking the blood from another girl's neck.

She raised her head up to look at him. There was no blood around her mouth. It took her some time, but she learned how not to be a messy eater. Black veins around her eyes were tingling and made her eyes look darker. Or maybe they only looked like that in the dark.

„Do you mind?" – she asked with the innocent look in her eyes.

Only she could do that. Wear that face, and look innocent.

He shook his head while laughing. „No" – he smiled at her, but she didn't seem to believe him.

„Do you find me unattractive like this?" – she asked.

He frowned. He couldn't believe she would ask him something like that. Or even think about it. He couldn't remember he ever looked at her in disgust. He didn't find her unattractive at all, not even when she was sucking other people's blood. In contrary, he found it sexy. It was in the vampire's nature. Sharing blood was the most intimate act vampire's could do.

He got up from the bench and crossed his arms on his chest. She could notice the muscles of his arms tighten up as he did so.

„You're as beautiful as the first day I met you" – he smiled at her. „More, if it's even possible."

She smiled back. She could never resist his smile. It was one of her week spots. Sometimes, while they were making love, he would lower his head and press his lips on the skin around her shoulder, and she could feel his lips curving into a smile. That was one of the most beautiful things she ever experienced, knowing she could make him so happy, that in a moment like that, he had to smile.

She had bit her lower lip, raised her head up, and gestured him with her finger to come closer. „Come here, love" – she said silently.

Stefan crooked his eyebrow and came few steps closer to her. He looked at the girl in Elena's arms. She had a delightful smile on her face. Elena compelled her to enjoy this. Elena didn't like to see them in pain, or struggling, and she would never take too much from them.

Elena looked at Stefan and brought the girl closer to him. „Why don't you take some?" – she asked with a smirk on her face.

Before he could respond, she had sinked her fangs back in the girls neck. Stefan looked at her in disbelief. She raised her eyes to look at him. Veins around her eyes started moving. There was something about her that left him breathless. She adapted to well to being a vampire that it became a part of her charm. She wasn't evil, or manipulative, or a monster. She was still Elena, but there were certain parts of here that she showed more now that she was a vampire. Like her confidence, like she knew she is sexy and beautiful, and she wasn't afraid to show it. She was finally free. She acted like it, and he hoped she felt like it. She locked her eyes on his, and he could see a light smile on her face.

He came closer, put his hands on the girls hips, and sinked his fangs on the other side of the girls neck.

This is the first time he did something like this. With anyone. Ever. He could feel Elena's fingers on his arm, going up and down, until she finally reached his hand and intertwined her fingers with his. He could feel closer to Elena than he did before. Sharing this moment with her, he was sure he will never share it with anyone else again, and he didn't want to. Sharing this moment with her, it was all about her fingers intertwined with his, and the moonlight on their faces, and a smile on her lips, and fleeding moments and seconds that passed too fast.

It was about being with her and doing what she asked him to do and sharing something so intimate with her. It was about being home.

When he concluded that the girl shouldn't lose anymore blood, he took his fangs out from from her neck, and Elena followed him. He had cut his wrist open with his fangs, fed the girl his blood and sat her down on the bench he was sitting on before. He compelled her to go home and forget everything that has happened to her. Her wounds have healed quickly.

Stefan turned around to look at Elena, and she was smirking at him.

„You have blood on your lips" – he pointed in the direction of her mouth.

She raised her hand to clear her lips of blood, but in the matter of seconds Stefan appeared in front of her and grabbed her hand.

„Let me" – a huge grin appeared on his face.

He slowly lowered his head down, approaching her lips with his. She was trying to catch his look, but it was centered on her lips. She was a little stunned about what he's planning to do. Finally, his lips locked with hers, and she could feel blood from her lips disappearing in his mouth. He kissed her lips covered in blood, she couldn't stop thinking. She never thought he would do something like that.

He raised his head and looked at her, still wearing a smirk on his face. His look was piercing through her, setting her skin on fire, making her insides burn and caressing her soul. She had put her arms around his neck and kissed him. But it wasn't one of their usual pecks on the lips, it was more than that. She kissed him so hard he could feel his body tremble. He had put his arms around her waist and lifted her from the ground. In his arms, she was as light as a feather. He started carrying her, and he never wanted to let go of her. He wanted to keep her in his arms forever. They enetered the woods, and he was still carefully carrying her in his arms, and she was still kissing him. She had put her legs around his waist and cupped his face with both of her hands.

What she felt while kissing Stefan was not marely passion, although there was a lot of it. It was also love, in the purest sense imaginable. She could never be just his lover, she was his in every sense of the word. He was her lover, soulmate, best friend, a shoulder to cry on, someone she could lean on and someone who was always there for her. He was her everything.

They reached the boarding house, and Stefan pushed the front door open with his leg. He carried her all the way up to the bedroom, and in the moment he was ready to put her on the bed, she jumped from his embrace.

„No, no" – she said and shook her finger. She pulled her shirt up from her body and got herself out of her jeans in a hurry and happily jumped to the door of his room.

„This way" – she gestured him with her finger to follow her.

He had no idea what she was up to, but he was eager to find out. He will play her game. When she disappeared from the bedroom door, het got his clothes of and hurried after her. He found her panties and her bra on the hallway floor, leading to the bathroom. He could hear the water running in the shower. He stepped insine the bathroom and saw her under the shower, smiling at him and inviting him in. He smiled and got under the shower with her. She had bit her lower lip, something she did often, and put her arms around his waist. She started pulling her fingers all over his back, up and down. He lowered his head and pressed his lips on the skin of her neck, kissing it all the way through. She started bending her body in the direction of his kisses.

Their bodies were pressed close together. She could feel his strong torso pressing on her chest, and he could feel her skin burning under his touch. Water was covering their naked bodies, putting out the fire on her burning skin. He was holding his hands on her hips, pulling her closer to him.

When they were together, nothing else mattered. Nothing else existed. There were only them and the moment they shared, and they wished to freeze the time so the moment can last forever. But they had an eternity of this. An eternity of passionate kisses and sharing showers and kisses under the sun and moon and laying in each other's arms on the bed. They could have an eternity of this, and it still wouldn't be enough.

When they were together, they were complete.

**xxxx**

„You're not like the other girls" – Damon said while watching Bonnie laying on the bed. He was studying the skin on her back, following the line of her spine, a place where he planted his kisses many times before. She was turned to him, but she had her eyes closed. She smiled at his words.

„What do you mean?" – she asked with a smile on her face.

He had to smile at her smile. He always did. Because there was nothing more beautiful than seeing her smile.

„You don't care what other girls care about. You don't mind leaving the house without any make up on. And you wear the clothes you feel comfortable in. You read books, and you talk about reading books" – Damon said while getting closer to her, putting his hand on her back and pulling his finger over her spine. She opened her eyes at the tingly feeling his touch was sending down her spine. „I love when you put the music on and dance in your underwear. You look free. Like a bird. And oh, when you're eating ice cream, you have a special look on your face, and from that look I can tell you're enjoying yourself completely. And it's amazing, to see you like that. So satisfied and humble.. because something as irrelevant as ice cream can make you so happy" – he smiled at the memory of her face.

She looked up at him and smiled. Her hair was falling over her face, hiding her gorgeous brown eyes Damon loved to look at. Because every time he would look at them, he would discover a piece of Bonnie that was to that moment unknown to him.

„I remember the first time I saw you. That night, at the Grill. When my eyes locked on you, everything else in the room stopped moving, existing. Nothing else mattered. Because from that moment, I knew you're the one. You've always been the one, Bonnie" – he was trying to keep the tears from falling down his cheeks.

Bonnie looked at him with so much admiration, and he could tell that from the smile on her face. He pulled his fingers through her hair.

„No matter how many lifetimes I live, I will find you in every one of them. I will search for the body your soul was reborn into. Because I refuse to believe there is a world with no Bonnie in it" – he leaned his head down and kissed her cheek.

She burried her face in the pillow so he doesn't see the tears streaming down her face. „And I promise, I will do everything in my power to find my way back to you."


	26. Chapter 26

„Why are you back?" – Stefan asked with a high pitched tone when he entered the living room and noticed Katherine sitting on the sofa.

She rolled her eyes. „Aren't you happy to see me?" – she got up from the sofa and started walking towards him. When she got few steps closer to him, he smirked, turned around and headed to the table where they kept their scotch.

„Not at least" – he said through laughter while sipping scotch in the glass. „Want one?" – he turned around and raised his glass in the air.

„Of course" – she said while checking him out from head to toe, grinning.

He smiled and turned around to pour her a glass of scotch. „So tell me, why are you here?" – he asked calmly while giving her the drink.

She took the drink from his hand while smiling. „Heard Elena is a vampire now. Had to see it for myself" – she stired the drink in the glass, watching the scotch crashing in the sides of the glass.

„Who did tell you she's a vampire, anyway?" – Stefan furrowed his brows. He was trying to find out for days now, but with no luck. So Katherine like, always one step ahead of everyone else.

Katherine looked up at him and pulled a huge grin over her voice. „Like I'm going to tell you" – she said through a light giggle.

„You really think this thing between you and Elena is going to work?" – she asked seriously.

He looked at her and frowned. „Stop playing games, Katherine" – he warned her, but he said her name with a certain weight in his voice.

She crooked her eyebrow. „I'm actually being serious. There were times when we could talk about everything" – Katherine started daydreaming about those times. It was so long ago, but she remembered it like it was yesterday. When he sneaked into her room late at night. Pulled his fingers through her hair. Kissed her neck. Held his hands on her back, while pressing his chest strongly next to hers. Telling her about his day, how he was thinking about her, and craving for this night hours so he could visit her, so he could hold her, so he could be with her. It's hard to believe those times were real. Sometimes she curses herself for leaving him behind, because every once in a while, she misses him. And sometimes it pains her being without him. Because she misses him in the most unfortunate times. But then, she always reminds herself how probably neither of them would be alive if she didn't do what she did.

„Why wouldn't it work?" – he took a sip of his drink, waking her up from her daydreaming.

The corners of Katherine lips turned into a smile. „She'll change now when she's a vampire. She won't be the same person she was as a human."

This one was true, she did change. But it was a change Stefan liked to see in her. He would love every version of Elena there is, anyway.

When Katherine saw this is not working, she continued. „She will have to go through things you have already gone through. And I think those are things you don't want to remember. Does she even know about your past?" – Katherine asked while crooking her eyebrows.

Stefan laughed out loud while looking at the drink in his hand. „Elena knows all about my past" – he raised his look. „And I would go through much worse for her than remembering my past."

„I know, I know, you would go to hell and back for her" – she sighed, taking a sip of her drink.

„Yeah, I would" – he said seriously.

She raised her head and put the glass on the table beside the sofa. His words did stung a little. She would like him to go to hell and back for her. No one was ready to do that for her, no one ever offered to. Not even when she needed someone to do so. She always had to take care of herself. Maybe it was better like that. You can only count on yourself, anyway.

„Fine, Stefan" – she said silently. „When you end up hurt and alone, I won't tell you I told you so" – she headed to the front door. And she totally will till him that.

He kept his head lowered as she existed the room. He didn't want to face her. Not with that worried look in his eyes.

**xxxx**

„Stefan" – Elena said silently while snuggling by his side, but he didn't react. „Stefan" – she repeated his name in the same tone, putting her arm over his chest. She got closer to him and kissed him on the cheek. But he didn't react to that either. She frowned. She pulled her hand from his chest, sat on the bed and smirked. She jumped on him and yelled his name loudly.

„Stefan!" – she yelled his name through laughter while sitting on his waist.

„Elena" – he said her name with a muffled voice. „You're too loud" – he rubbed his eyes with his hands, trying to look like he's mad at her, but as soon as she lowered her head down and kissed his neck, a smiled curved in the corner of his lips.

„You have to wake up" – she kept kissing his neck.

„Why?" – he had put his hands on her back and rolled her over. Now he was on top of her, kissing her neck.

She laughed out loud, while pulling her hands under his shirt and feeling his strong torso. His skin trembeled on the top of her fingertips. „Because we promissed Damon and Bonnie" – she said through laughter.

„Let's ditch them and stay in the bed for the rest of the evening" – he said each word separately after giving her another kiss on the neck.

She cupped his face with both of her hands and made him lift his head from her neck. „I would love too" – she gave him a peck on the lips – „but we promissed them."

Somehow she squirmed from out of him and jumped from the bed on her feet. She ran to the closet, opened the closet doors, and if it were to ask Stefan, she was standing there for an hour. If it were up to her, she was standing there only five minutes. She turned around with a big smile on her face. „Get dressed" – she yelled at him, when she saw he's still laying on the bed.

He got up from the bed lazily and picked up his shirt. Then he saw her shaking her head. So he picked out another shirt.

By the time they got downstairs, Damon and Bonnie were tapping their feet on the hardwood floor in the hallway.

„Do you have to keep your hands on each other for the whole time?" – Damon snapped. Bonnie giggled.

„We weren't doing anything, Damon" – Elena rolled her eyes.

„You do forget I can hear you, sweetie" – Damon said silently.

Elena blushed, and Bonnie giggled some more. Stefan laughed and punched Damon in the shoulder.

„Where are we going, anyway?" – Stefan asked while opening the front door.

„We are taking our girls out, brother" – Damon said through laughter.

„We will have some fun, right?" – Bonnie asked while bumping into Damon.

Damon looked her in the eyes. „Baby, I promise you, this will be the night you'll never forget" – he gave her a peck on the lips while putting his hand over her shoulder.

They decided to take a shortcut through the woods that would lead them to the park. By the time they got there, the park was empty. The wind was blowing pretty hard, but it wasn't cold. It was refreshing after a hot day.

Stefan and Elena were acting like couple of teenagers. They had been teasing each other, and giggling, and giving each other peck on the lips every few minutes. They were happy, and they were ready to show that to the whole world. Bonnie and Damon were different. They were much more private on their love. Holding his hand or feeling it around her shoulder was enough for her. Sometimes she envied Elena for being so carefree, for being so open to the world. And sometimes Elena envied Bonnie for being able to keep so calm and not flaunt what she has in front of everyone. And sometimes Damon envied Stefan for staying so young at heart after so many years, and sometimes Stefan envied Damon for actually growing up. But in the end of the day, they were who they were, and that they have, they wouldn't change for anything in the world.

Stefan and Elena were walking in the front, with their hands around each other's waist. Damon and Bonnie were right behind them, and Damon still had his hand around Bonnie's shoulder. All of a sudden, Bonnie felt Damon's entire weight on her body. She could feel his body relaxing, and the weight of his whole body was on her shoulder. She turned her head around in a hurry and saw his skin going grey. He was still there, he was still concius, he was still.. alive.

„Damon?" – she asked silently, his name barely escaping her lips. Stefan and Elena weren't able to hear her. She was barely able to hear herself.

„Bon - " – was all he was able to pronaunce before falling on the ground. As he fell, Bonnie noticed a steak going through his heart, from the beck.

Stefan and Elena heard the nose, and then they heard Bonnie's screams. They turned around and saw Damon laying on the ground. Elena clinged to Stefan as she heard Bonnie's scream. But when Stefan saw Damon's lifeless face and body on the ground, he pulled his hand from her and ran to his body.

„Brother!" – he yelled, kneeling over his body with tears in his eyes.

Bonnie was not able to move. She was not able to turn around to see who did this. Is the person still there. Are the rest of them in danger too. She felt chills going through her body. She saw Elena standing there with a horrified expression on her face. She looked like she was looking through Bonnie. Or maybe she could see the person who did this.

But all Bonnie could see is the grey skin on Damon's face. Thick, black veins all over it. His parted lips that were trying to say her name before his body falling on the ground. His eyes wide open, but lifeless.

All she could think about is how right he was.

This is the night she'll never forget.


	27. Chapter 27

Bonnie had a feeling like she's trapped in a living nightmare. After few minutes of helplessly staring at Damon's body, none of this seemed real. Stefan holding Damon in his arms, tears streaming down his face. Elena standing few feet behind him, like a statue, her look pointed on something or someone behind Bonnie. She didn't look scared, but stunned. Bonnie couldn't concentrate on her, though. Her look escaped Elena's face and went back down on Damon. She wished for him to get up. To look at her with those light, blue eyes, and make her melt with his touch. To kiss her lips, to kiss her cheek, to kiss her neck, to make her feel infinite. But he didn't get up. He didn't even blink. His skin was still grey and his face looked cold. And Bonnie couldn't move. She had put each of her hands on her arms and started rubbing it. All of a sudden, she could feel the coldness of the wind. And she could still feel Damon's arm around her shoulder.

After few moments, Elena started walking towards Stefan. She kneeled next to him, and put her arm on his back. He was squeezing Damon's body in his hug, soaking his cold, hard, grey skin with his tears. From time to time, he would release a silent sob. Elena pressed her head next to his and gave him a kiss on the cheek. In that moment, his sobbing's stopped, his body relaxed and he pressed his shoulder next to hers, resting his body on hers. Elena raised her head, trying to catch Bonnie's look. But Bonnie was wandering somewhere. Her body were there, but she wasn't inside of it. After few minutes of silence, Bonnie's eyes locked on Elena's. Elena looked at her seriously, piercing into her eyes. She waved her head and looked behind her, gesturing her to turn around.

Bonnie wasn't crying. She couldn't. She wished she could. She wished she broke down, right there, right now, and cried her heart out on the ground of that empty park. But she had a feeling she has to stay strong, again. She felt like it wasn't her place to cry. She felt like that place was reserved for Stefan. So she held everything inside. Every bit of emotion, sadness, fear, pain, she held everything inside in her weak, trembling body.

Soon enough, she realized what Elena wants her to do. She inhaled deeply and slowly turned around. Behind here, there was an elderly woman. Dark skin, light brown hair, deep, brown eyes, the same as Bonnie had. Bonnie gasped. She could feel tears grouping into her eyes. She knew she can cry about this, she knew this is her time to cry.

„Grams?" – Bonnie said silently.

The woman looked at her with pain and fear and anger mixed in her eyes. But she didn't say anything. She kept starting at Bonnie, piercing through her eyes. Bonnie turned her head around and noticed Stefan and Elena raising their heads up, staring at Bonnie. She could not see the color of Stefan's eyes behind all those tears. When she turned back around to face the woman standing in front of her, a tear was rolling down her cheek.

„How could you?" – she asked in disbelief.

The woman frowned. „How could I?" – she raised her voice at Bonnie. „How could you? You disgraced us Bonnie" – she made one step closer to Bonnie. Bonnie lowered her head so she doesn't have to look her grandmother in the eyes.

„Have you forgotten who you are?" – she asked with a certain amount of disgust in her voice.

Bonnie knew to what her grandmother was aiming at. She was asking her has she forgotten that she's a witch. No, she never did. Every second of every day she knew exactly who she is, and where she comes from. But Damon reminded her that she's Bonnie. Other than being a witch, she was Bonnie. A girl. A friend. A lover.

„No" – Bonnie grinned her teeth.

„Then how could you be with that.." – the woman looked down at Damon, down at Stefan who was holding his brother in his arms – „..that thing" – she looked up at Bonnie.

Bonnie looked at her with pain in her eyes. Pain that turned into disbilief. Disbilief into fear. Fear into anger. And anger into strength. She raised her hand and wiped the tears from her face.

„He is not a thing" – Bonnie hissed. „He's a person. Someone who has a life, who has a family. Someone who loved and who was loved. You came here to kill a predator, and you killed a person. Look what you did" – she pointed down at Stefan with her finger. „You killed someone's brother. Look at the tears rolling down his cheeks, look at the pain on his face" – she raised her voice. „Look what you did to me. I love him" – the last sentence she pronaunced more silently than the previous one.

The woman laughed out loud. „You love him?" – she asked through laughter. But she couldn't hide the amount of pain in her voice. „You don't even know what love is. And neither did he. He is incapable of love" – she snapped at Bonnie.

Elena was holding Stefan by his shoulder, trying to calm him down. She was hearing words coming out of Bonnie's grandmothers mouth, and she could remember the time she was thinking the same. When she thought vampires are incapable of love. And all that she could think is how wrong she is. How Bonnie's grandmother wrong is now. And that's the only thing Bonnie could think about too.

„He can love better than half of the creatures you call humans" – Bonnie hissed.

„Bonnie" – she heard silent sobbings of her name behind her. She turned her head around and saw Stefan's face soaked in tears, looking at her like he's begging her for something. „Please, do something" – he lowered his head down to look at Damon.

Bonnie did the same. She could feel tears grouping in her eyes, prepearing to escape them every second now. She was trying to keep her voice calm and her body from trembling.

„I'm sorry Stefan" – her eyes went mellow. Elena could see the pain in Bonnie's eyes. She could also see Bonnie is trying to push that pain away.

„Can't you use magic to bring him back?" – he asked desperately.

Bonnie clinged her own nails in the skin of her fingers. „Even if I knew how, I'm not strong enough" – one tear tried to escape her eyes, but she stopped it.

Stefan catched that and a painful laugh escaped his lips. „You don't have to pretend to be strong, Bonnie" – Stefan said while raising his head to look her in the eyes.

As he said those words, everything she was keeping in, started pouring out. Tears started rolling down her face. She came few steps closer to Damon and kneeled down next to him. Stefan was still holding Damon in his arms, but when Bonnie kneeled over, he lifted his body up so he can be closer to Bonnie. Bonnie slowly lifted her hand and put the tips of her fingers on Damon's face. She could feel the coldness of his skin going through her body. The feeling was unpleasant, but she couldn't lift her hand. She couldn't will herself to detach herself from him. In that moment, she had a wish to lay next to him, and stay in that position forever. Until there is no air in her lungs, and until both of their bodies turn to dust. She remembered when her uncle died, everyone were telling her aunt how it gets better. If it gets better, how come she feels like dying? Bonnie always considered herself to be a strong person, but in that moment she didn't think she can overcome this feeling. And in that moment, every memory of Damon flashed in front of her eyes. The first moment when she saw him. When she felt his eyes on her. When she had a feeling like he had lit a flame in her feet that when all through her body to her head with his look. When she trew him on the ground and made his mind spin with her powers. How he kept being charming, and cocky afterwards. How it felt the first time when she felt his lips upon hers. And how in that moment she knew, that feeling comes only once in a lifetime. And how she spent many sleepless nights crying over the fact that one day, she'll have to say goodbye to him. And she never thought goodbye may come sooner than expected. She remembered every smile, every tear, every fight they had. She remembered the first time they slept together, and how their bodies clicked as well as their minds and their souls. That was the first time she actually believed Damon has a soul. When she felt hers reaching for his.

Bonnie was cerassing his cheek, and removing his dark, black hair from his face. And in the moment she was about to close his eyes with the palm of her hand, she came up with an idea. She looked up at Stefan, who had a confused look on his face. Confused, but hopefull.

„I can ask for help from the witches" – she said while looking in Stefan's eyes.

„Witches would never help you bring back a vampire, not even if they could" – her grandmother said.

But Bonnie didn't pay attention to her words. She looked at Elena who had tears in her eyes. Mostly from shock, Bonnie thought. Or from seeing Stefan in that condition.

„Elena, get your car" – Bonnie ordered her. In other kind of a situation, Elena would not be appreciative of her tone, but this time she nodded and ran to the boarding house as fast as she could.

Bonnie looked at Stefan, and he mouthed a thank you to her, with new bunch of tears grouping in his eyes.

In few minutes, Elena was there with a car. Bonnie sat in the back, and they had put Damon in a laying position, placing his head in Bonnie's lap. Bonnie could hear her grandmother screaming her name, but she didn't turn around. Not even once. She didn't make a sound, either. She gave Elena directions where to go. They pulled over at the old, abandoned house little outside of the town. Stefan and Elena carried Damon's body in, and Bonnie pointed them to the basement. Bonnie kneeled on the concrete, putting Damon's head on her lap. She ordered Stefan and Elena to stand in the back of the room and be quiet. She closed her eyes and concentrated. She stayed in that position for few minutes, and Elena could see veins popping on her forehead. Soon, she opened her eyes and looked in front of herself.

„Can you hear me?" – she asked hopefully.

„Yes" – she heard a response buzzing in her head.

„I need.. I need you to do me a favor" – she stuttered while patinetly looking straight.

„We already know what you're going to ask us to do" – the witches said.

Stefan and Elena couldn't hear anything or anyone but Bonnie, so they looked at each other. They didn't want to interrupt, though, so they didn't say anything.

„So can you?" – Bonnie's voice became more clear as she squeezed Damon's shoulders.

„He's our enemy, Bonnie. He's a vampire. We do not give life to the ones who take lives" – Bonnie had put her hands on the sides of her head because of the amount of buzzing that was going on in there.

„This little war you lead between each other is non existant" – Bonnie raised her voice as tears started flowing out of her eyes. „You hate each other, and you don't even remember why. But year after year, the hate keeps getting bigger, and more blood is being spilled over something that happened God knows when. And this hate, it's going to destroy us all one day. Not just them, us too" – she lowered her hand and put it on Damon's face, caressing his cheek. His eyes were closed, and he looked so peacefull. Like he's asleep. Like he's going to wake up and wiggle his nose as she presses her lips on his. But Bonnie knew better. Bonnie knew how to separate dreams and hopes from reality. Especially in these kind of situations. „It destroyed him. It's destroying me. I love him. And now I'll have to live without him. And I knew.. I knew we'll have to say goodbye to each other one day, but not now. Your hate.. it stole our days. By destroying him, you destroyed part of me" – she cried as she kept cerassing his cheek with the palm of her hand.

There was no response. For few minutes, that seemed like a lifetime to her, there was only silence.

„You love him?" – after she thought she had lost them, she heard a silent voice in her head.

„Yes" – she said through tears.

„We can't bring vampires back" – the voice from the other side became muffled.

Bonnie started crying harder as she kept lowering her head on his face.

„But we can bring Damon back" – the voice announced.

Bonnie raised her head and her loud sobs stopped. She turned her head around to look at Stefan. She looked confused.

„What is it?" – he asked worried.

„They say they can't bring vampires back, but they can bring Damon back" – she frowned. „What does that mean?"

Stefan looked as confused as Bonnie did. He repeated the sentence few times in his head. Then the muscles of his face relaxed.

„They can bring Damon back" – he repeated while looking at Bonnie. „They can bring him back as a human" – Stefan's voice became hard and his face stiffened.

Bonnie's eyes popped out.

„Yes" – she heard a voice in her head. „We can do that."

She looked at Stefan who kept lowering his head. Elena had put her hand on his back, looking at him in worry.

„Stefan?" – Bonnie asked silently. „What should I do?" – a tear fell down on her cheek.

Stefan raised his head up and looked at Bonnie. She could see the pain in his eyes. He was in between letting his brother die, right here, right now, or watching him die in years to come. Losing him, slowly. Watching him living a life he always craved for himself.

A smile appeared in the corner of his lips. „Bring him back, of course" – he told Bonnie while holding back his tears.

Bonnie smiled at him. She released a silent laugh as tears kept rolling down her face. She knew she doesn't have to tell the witches what to do, they have heared Stefan well. She turned her head back and looked at Damon. His grey skin started disappearing, and she could see his milky skin coming back to life. The veins on his face disappeared too. In few moments, he opened his eyes and inhaled. He instantly raised his head from Bonnie's lap and sat up. Bonnie got behind him and put her hands on his shoulders. He started coughing, not used to feeling the air in his lungs. After few minutes, he stopped coughing, and he looked up at Bonnie, Stefan and Elena.

„I'm alive" – he announced in disbelief.

Bonnie nodded her head while smiling.

„What happened?" – he asked confused.

Stefan got closer and kneeled next to Damon.

„You got stabbed" – Stefan pointed at his heart. Damon looked down at his shirt and saw a hole on it. „So Bonnie brought you here, and asked the witches to bring you back. But this is the only way they could" – he pointed out. He tapped his brother on the shoulder, smiled and walked over to Elena.

„I'm a human?" – he turned around to face Bonnie.

She nodded, for a moment scared he's not going to like the idea of being human. But then, a smile appeared on his face, and he pulled Bonnie into a hug.

„I love you so much" – he said through tears.

She could feel his tears on her bare shoulders. She burried her face into his hug.

„I love you too" – she said silently.

**xxxx**

Damon stepped behind Stefan, bending his upper body and putting his hands on his knees, breathing heavily.

„You know, this hill is really high" – he barely catched his breath.

Stefan laughed. „I haven't noticed" – there was a certain amount of pain in his voice.

Damon sat next to Stefan on the edge of the hill. Stefan noticed that Damon is sweaty. Something vampires don't get, especially not when they're climbing a hill. That hill was Stefan's safe place. It was there as long as he could remember. When he was a kid, that hill was there, and from the top of it, you could see the whole forrest. Lines and lines of trees. And in the end, you could see their house. He would always go there when he had something on his mind, when something was bugging him, or when he just wanted to be alone. And Damon knew he can always find him there. And he always did. Stefan was staring at the rows of trees, and to Damon it looked like he's counting them.

„Are you okay with this?" – Damon asked while furrowing his brows.

„Why wouldn't I be?" – Stefan wrinkled his forehead.

Damon shook his head. He knew how much Stefan misses being a human. Because he remembers how much he missed being a human.

„How is it?" – Stefan finally asked.

„Being human?" – Damon asked.

Stefan simply nodded his head.

„You're not missing much, little brother" – he tapped his back.

That wasn't true, but Damon couldn't tell Stefan how much the food tastes better. And how differently you see people when you're one of them. And how after almost two centuries being ordinary feels good. And how it feels good to have air in your lungs. And how amazing is to feel the beat of your heart. And how there is no pain, at least it's not as big as when you're a vampire. Love stays the same, but it's not so hightened. It doesn't create that painful feeling in your chest, but sometimes it hurts in your stomach. And you can find happiness in the smallest things.

Stefan looked at his brother. He knew he was lying. And he appreciated that.

„Are you happy?" – Stefan asked.

„Immensely" – a smiled appeared on Damon's face.

„Then I'm happy too" – Stefan smiled back. He turned his head back around and went back to looking at the rows of trees.

„You know I love you, right little brother?" – Damon asked in all seriousnes.

„I know" – Stefan nodded his head. „I love you too, big brother."

In that moment, nothing else existed but them. They were Damon and Stefan, sitting on the same place they were sitting when they were kids. And that was almost two centuries ago, but they could remember it like it was yesterday. They had a feeling like they're sitting on the edge of the world, and like they have the whole world under their feet. And they had, for some time, they had. They saw things, and they created memories. None of that is going away. Those memories will die with Damon and live with Stefan. And he knew Damon is going to have a great life. Him and Bonnie, they will create their own memories. And they will live and die as it was intended, and they will leave a mark on this world as big as someone who lived a lot longer than all of them combined. Because Stefan knew Damon and Bonnie are meant to be, just as him and Elena are. And both of them lived so long, waiting for other half of them to be born. Because ever since they were human, both of them had a feeling a part of them is missing. And they found that part in Bonnie and Elena. Him and his brother had different fates, a fates they are gratefull on, because after all this time they feel complete.

And Stefan didn't want to think about how in some years to come, Damon will leave him. And how he'll have to spend an eternity without his brother. Because he was happy for Damon and for the life that was given to him, because after all the pain that was caused to him, he deserved nothing less. And he knew even when Damon leaves this planet, he will never leave him. They're brothers, bonded for life. They have the same blood, they have the same spirit, and they have the same soul. As much as he loves Elena, and as much as Damon loves Bonnie, they knew they will never find better soulmates than each other.

And Stefan didn't feel jealous, or sad. He would rather have his brother die in happiness than live in sorrow.


	28. Chapter 28

„That's a good sound" – Bonnie said as she stretched her arm over Damon's chest. She had put her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, while her face was bathing in the light of the moon. By the smile on her face you could see she's enjoying herself.

Damon smiled and lowered his head to kiss the top of hers. „What is?" – he asked curiously while pulling his finger all over her back.

„The sound of your heart beating" – she said through laughter. „Boom, boom, boom" – she placed her fingers on the place where his heart is and started tapping on it. Damon smiled before planting another kiss on the top of her head.

„I love you" – he said while playing with her hair.

She pressed her lips on his chest to give him a kiss, and he could feel her lips forming into a smile.

„I mean, I'm so in love with you" – he laughed out loud.

The only person he was in love before was Katherine. And even with her, it was different. With her, he never felt still, he never felt like he belonged. With Bonnie, he feels like he's home. Wherever she is, that's where his home is.

She raised her head and touched his nose with hers. „I'm in love with you too, silly" – she smiled before kissing his lips.

**xxxx**

It was a warm night. Too warm, in Elena's opinion. She kept throwing covers from her body, and if she didn't fear of going to the kitchen for water and forgetting to put her clothes on, she would sleep naked. Before going to sleep, Stefan had put his arms around her, but as soon as he fell asleep, she squirmed out of his hug. Since then, he was sleeping like a baby, not opening his eyes once.

But Elena couldn't sleep. She kept throwing herself around the bed, and her skin kept tingling. She had to scratch it every few minutes because she thought something is biting her.

After an hour of trying to fall asleep, she gave up, put her light, summer dress on and sneaked out of the room while trying not to wake Stefan up. She headed to the woods, since she thought it would be more refreshing there.

And it was. She could feel wind going thrugh her hair, and making her skin tremble. It was a delight after being trapped on a hot bed in an even hotter room. She stopped walking, and decided to stand in one spot, with her eyes closed. The wind was crashing on her, and a smile appeared on her face.

But other than refreshment, wind brought something else. The smell of blood. She opened her eyes in an instant, as soon as she felt the tingly feeling on her fangs. She thought some poor, defenseless animal fell into a trap, so she started moving towards the smell of the blood.

After few feets she made a right turn and behind a tree she saw a young man trying to wipe the blood of his arm. The man heard foliage and brenches cracking under her feet, so he raised his head up.

„Hello" – he smiled at her. „I hope I didn't scare you" – the look on his face became serious.

Elena had to laugh at the irony of the situation, since she would probably end up scaring him. „No" – she shook her head in laughter.

„You're probably wondering what am I doing here by myself in the middle of the night, right?" – he smiled at her again. He had a charming smile. He couldn't be older than 25. He was also very well built, but his hair was too yellow for Elena's taste. And his eyes were too brown. And when she thought about it, he wasn't attractive at all. He wasn't Stefan. „I was jogging, fell over something and cut my arm" – he pointed at the bloody napkin on his arm with his look. Elena looked at his sport clothes, so she concluded it's safe to say he really was jogging, which was quite understandable, since it's so warm.

Elena slowly nodded her head at him.

„The better question is, what are you doing here at the middle of the night?" – he smirked.

„I was taking a walk. I live nearby, and it was so hot" – she rolled her eyes when she remembered how hot it was inside.

„Yeah, tell me about it" – he said before taking the napkin of his arm.

The smell of blood went up her nostrills. She could feel her fangs piercing through the skin of her lips. His wound was wide open and Elena's look was fixated on it.

„Are you okay?" – he asked, waking her up from a strong trans she was in.

When she raised her head, dark, black veins were circling around her eyes. And before he could scream, before he could even peep a sound, her fangs were in his neck.

These urges she felt were different from the ones she felt before. She wasn't only hungry, she knew she's killing the man, she could feel his heart stopping, but part of her didn't care. Part of her was telling her to let go, but part of her didn't care does the man live or die. Part of her wanted him to die. She sank her fangs deeper, and in that moment, she could feel his heart stopping, and his breath disappearing. His body relaxed in her arms, and when she felt him falling on her with all of his body weight, she detached her fangs from his neck. His body fell on the ground, and Elena's eyes widened as she realized what she did.

„No, no, no" – she started crying as she fell on her knees, next to the mans body. „Please don't be dead, please don't be dead" – she raised her voice, like her being loud is going to wake him up.

„Bad Elena" – she heard a voice coming up behind her. A voice followed by loud laughter.

Elena turned around in tears and saw Katherine standing behind her.

„Help me, please" – she begged Katherine with tears in her eyes.

„Nothing can bring the dead back to life, Elena. Unless he died with your blood in his system" – Katherine smirked. Part of her was taking pity of Elena, and the other part enjoyed seeing her like this.

Elena started crying harder upon hearing Katherine's words. Katherine rolled her eyes, annoyed with Elena's cries.

„Get up" – she said calmly, but Elena wouldn't listen. „Get up!" – she yelled at her.

Elena stopped crying and turned her head around. She saw the fierce look in Katherine's eyes, so she stood up. When she faced her, Katherine smirked at her.

„There's blood all over your face" – Katherine looked at her in disgust. Elena raised her hand and tried to wipe some blood of her face. She looked back at her hand and saw it's all bloody. She could feel tears filling her eyes.

„My, my, what would Stefan say to you now" – a huge grin appeared on Katherine's face.

Stefan. She hadn't even think about what would Stefan say, or do.

„He would.. he would help me" – she stuttered, not completely believing in her own words.

Katherine laughed out loud. „Why do you think he would want to go through this all over again?"

„Becuase he loves me" – Elena said determined.

„Oh sweetheart" – Katherine said that like she's pitying her – „There are things far more important than love. Also, Stefan could never get over you killing somebody. He fell in love with you because you're pure, and innocent.. because you're not like us."

She was right. Stefan would never forgive her. He wouldn't be able to look at her after what she did. Feeding of someone is one thing, killing them is something completely different.

„What should I do?" – Elena asked desperately.

„Run. As fast as you can, as far as you can" – Katherine said in all seriousness.

„Run?" – Elena gasped. How could she possibly run? This is were her home is, this is where her family and friends are.

„Yes. You can come back in a decade or so, when everything is forgotten" – Katherine shrugged.

„Where should I go?" – Elena asked through tears.

„Wherever you want to" – Katherine smirked. „You have the whole world under your feet."

Light smile appeared on Elena's face. She nodded at Katherine and turned around.

„Will you.. will you tell Stefan that I'm sorry? And that I love him?" – she asked over her shoulder.

„Of course" – Katherine smiled. She never did tell him.

And Elena started running. She ran all through the forrest, and when she reached the clearing, she started running faster. She didn't know how smart it was from her to listen to Katherine, but she didn't know to whom else to listen. And she had no idea is running away from your problems the best move, because she had no experience in these kind of situations. She didn't know anything at all.

She just run. And never looked back.


	29. Chapter 29

_„People always leave. I should have remembered that. If there's anything I've learned in almost two centuries I've spent in this world, it's that sooner or later people leave, with our without their own free will. Actually, that is the only thing that is consistant, and that is the only thing you can be sure of. No matter how fulfilled and complete you feel one moment, the other you can feel completely different. People always leave, but I thought she's here to stay._

_I'll never forget waking up that morning and not finding her by my side. Not feeling her kisses on my skin, or her body pressing next to mine. I remember how scared I was, not finding her there. She would never wander off without me. She would never leave the bed without waking me up first. I called her name, but there was no answer. I called it few times, but she didn't make a sound. I said that if this is some kind of a game she's playing, it's not funny. But she didn't respond, or giggle, or make her presence known. There was only silence. That's when I screamed her name, louder and louder every time. Damon ran up to my room, asking me what's wrong. ''Elena. She's gone'' – I barely said that sentence without my voice cracking. We looked for her everywhere. Bonnie and Caroline joined us, so did Tyler, and even Matt. She wasn't at her old house, she wasn't in the park, she wasn't at college or in her old school, she wasn't in the Grill or the woods. She wasn't anywhere. When we got back inside, Katherine was waiting there, with a serious face expression, something she didn't wear often. She said that she saw Elena early in the morning in the woods, with blood smudged around her mouth, and that when she noticed her, she started running. Katherine said that she hid the body she found near where she had seen Elena. I didn't believe Katherine. I will never believe another word that comes out of her mouth. But in that moment, I didn't care was she telling the truth or not. I only wanted to find Elena._

_But I never did find her. It's like she disappeared from the face of the Earth. And as much as I was mad at her for leaving, I was scared for her more. I've spend so many sleepless nights, asking myself is she well, is she alive, is she protected, is she with someone else? And some of the answers to those questions scared me. More than I would like to admit._

_You can't find someone who doesn't want to be found. But why did she leave me? Why did she leave all of us? Why did she think we wouldn't help her, or forgive her? Why was she so afraid? It hurts me, thinking about her. Because no matter how much time it passes, she is always going to be first and the last thing on my mind. I can still feel her near me. And that gives me hope that she's alive. And that one day, I'll see her again. If it's meant to be, we'll meet again, sometime in the future."_

**xxxx**

**8 years later**

„Anyone home?" – Stefan asked as he shut the front door.

„Uncle Stefan!" – he heard a familiar voice coming from the kitchen.

Soon enough, he could see a little girl with wild, dark brown hair running at him down the hallway, looking at him with her big, blue eyes and smiling. She rushed at him, clinging to his legs. He smiled down at her, bent over and picked her up in his arms. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and put her hands around his neck.

Bonnie and Damon got married five years ago, when Bonnie got pregnant with their daughter, Elizabeth. They were a real family now. Damon got a job, and Bonnie is just about to get her diploma, since she had to get some time of when she had Elizabeth. Stefan helped around the baby as much as he could, but not as much as Caroline. Caroline was something special to her. That girl owned her heart, and if it were up to her, she would spend every second of every day with her. But as much as she loved her, spending so much time with her wasn't so good for Caroline. Sometimes Stefan would find her, crying over the fact she's never going to have children of her own. And nothing could calm her down, nothing but Elizabeth's arms around her neck.

Bonnie's grandmother refused to speak to her for years, even when Bonnie was ready to speak to her. She finally gave in when Elizabeth was born. Bonnie's mom used to tell her that's because her grandmother forgot how is it to be in love.

Elizabeth pulled her hands from Stefan's neck and looked him in the eyes. When he looked into her eyes, all that he could see was Damon. „Have you found aunt Elena?" – she asked hopefully.

„No baby girl, I have haven't" – he smiled at her.

He never gave up on finding her. He was searching all over the world for her. And he wouldn't hear anything about her not being alive, or about her not wanting to come home. He knew she's somewhere out there, waiting for him to find her.

„Oh" – she said while lowering her head down. „I'm sorry" – she gave him another kiss on the cheek.

„Eliza, are you bugging your uncle Stefan?" – Damon came out of the kitchen with a mop on his shoulder.

Elizabeth shook her head. „I'm only welcoming him back home" – she said as Damon took her in his arms.

Damon was a great dad. He knew how to handle Elizabeth better than Bonnie did. Bonnie always said the two of them have some kind of a special connection. Maybe that's why every time Stefan would look into her eyes all he could see would be Damon.

„Welcome home, brother" – Damon had put his hand on Stefan's shoulder and smiled at him. „Now, let's go and help mommy in the kitchen" – Damon turned his head to Elizabeth who was playing with the ends of his hair. She nodded and smiled at him.

Elizabeth didn't know anything about vampires and witches and werewolves. She was too young, although both Bonnie and Damon were aware she will find out sooner or later. They had no intention of keeping who some of the closest people to her are, but they're going to tell her when she's old enough to understand that some things are meant to be kept as a secret. She didn't know what happened to Elena either. All that Stefan told her is that Elena loved all of them very much, but that one day she got really sad and went away, and now she doesn't know how to come back home, so Stefan has to find her and bring her back. Which wasn't that far away from the truth.

„Stefan! You're back!" – he saw Caroline coming down the stairs. She ran into him and put her arms around his neck, giving him and kiss on the cheek. „Any luck?" – she asked silently. Stefan shook his head.

Caroline lowered her look to the floor. Caroline missed Elena, very much. She was her best friend. She was the person Caroline could tell everything to. And then one day, she just disappeared. Without even saying goodbye.

„One day, you will find her" – she took him by the hand.

In the past 8 years, Stefan and Caroline really got closer. Especially after her and Tyler broke up. They simply couldn't find a way to make it work, with her being a vampire. They couldn't see a future together, and that was too painful for Caroline. She couldn't just stand there and wait for the time for him to disappear from her life one day. But she never.. she never did stop loving him. Even now, when he's engaged to some girl he had met at college, she never did stop loving him. Stefan said that's because he's the love of her life. As much as Caroline liked the thought of that, she found it sad, since she would never get the chance to spend her life with him. Sadder was the thought of her never loving another person like she loved Tyler. Stefan was really there for her when she and Tyler broke up, and spending time together became a daily routine for them. He became a person she can tell everything to, and when he was with her, he wouldn't think about Elena as much. He would miss her all the same, but she wouldn't be on his mind as much.

„You know what Damon says, you can't find someone who doesn't want to be found" – a painful smile appeared on his face.

„And you know what I say?" – she raised her head up to look at him.

„No" – he said while shaking his head.

She looked around herself. „That 90% of the time, Damon has no idea what he's talking about" – she said silently.

Stefan laughed out loud. In these past 8 years, her and Elizabeth were the only people who could make him smile.

„Now let's go to join our friends" – she pulled him by the hand in the kitchen.

They sat by the table and Damon had put food on it. That's the only thing Damon could do in the kitchen, set the table, because he had no idea how to cook. Bonnie often joked Elizabeth is a better cook than Damon.

Elizabeth sat in the chair between Stefan and Caroline. „Uncle Stefan, mommy and daddy won't tell me how they met. Will you tell me?" – she looked at him with her bright blue eyes, lowering her head on the table.

Stefan raised his look up at Bonnie and Damon who were already looking at him. Bonnie shook her head.

„Please" – she said with a soft voice, putting her hand on his.

How could he say no to that? Caroline smiled because she knew Elizabeth knew exactly what to do to get what she wants.

„Well.." – Stefan started talking. „Me and your daddy just came to the town, so we decided to go out to meet people. We went to the Grill and that's where they met" – Stefan smiled at her, satasfied with how he handled the situation.

„Did they like each other from the beginning?" – Elizabeth asked excidetly, happy she's finally hearing the story.

„No, your daddy was full of himself" – Caroline said before Stefan even got a chance to open his mouth. Damon kicked Caroline with his leg under the table. Bonnie gave Damon and Caroline an eye, Elizabeth looked shocked at her father and Stefan laughed out loud. Damon moved his look at him. It was good to see his brother laugh.

„Mommy showed me a picture of aunt Elena" – Elizabeth said looking at Stefan. Stefan stopped laughing and looked down at her. „She is pretty" – a smile curved up in the corners of her lips.

„She's the most beautiful girl in the world" – Stefan said silently.

Elizabeth frowned. „What about aunt Caroline?" – she asked. Damon chocked on his dinner.

A huge grin appeared on Caroline's face. „Yes Stefan, what about aunt Caroline?" – she winked at him, letting him know that she's teasing him.

Stefan felt like he's being trapped. He looked over at Damon who was smirking. „Caroline is beautiful, too. And one day, she's going to find someone who will love her so much that to him, she's going to be the most beautiful girl in the world" – he looked over to Caroline who was smiling at him.

But Elizabeth wouldn't give up. She raised her eyebrow. „But you already think she's beautiful, so why don't the two of you get married and have a baby so I can have someone to play with?" – she kept looking Stefan in the eyes.

He looked over at Caroline who was stunned. He feared Caroline would burst into tears at the thought of her having a child, but she bit her lower lip and held it in.

When the situation became awkward, Damon stepped in. „Because that's not how it works. Now eat your dinner" – he ordered her.

She frowned. „Even the peas?" – she poked the pea with her fork.

„Even the peas" – Damon said seriously.

And she listened to him. She would always listen to him. When the silence in the room became awkward, they heard a doorbell ring.

„I'll get it" – Damon said, getting up from his chair in a hurry.

„Stefan" – they heard Damon's voice from the front door after few seconds.

Stefan looked at Bonnie, then at Caroline, and both of them looked back at him, confused. He got up from the chair and headed to the front door. When he stepped into the hallway, he raised his head up, and stopped walking. He looked at the opened front door, stunned.

„Elena" – he whispered.


	30. Chapter 30

_„Blood on my hands. Blood around my mouth. Blood everywhere._

_I ran through the woods. And when I came to the road, I ran faster, in the direction opposite of Mystic Falls. The road was empty. And I just ran, without the thought on my mind. Not knowing why I'm running and where I'm running to. I must have been running for 15 minutes without a pause before I heard a creek near the road. When I came to the creek, I fell down on my knees and drowned my face and hands in it, trying to clean every drop of blood off my skin. I started rubbing my skin, until it was spotlessly clean. Until my skin looked like it never had blood on it. I raised my head and stared in my reflection in the water._

_How stupid of me, to listen to Katherine. One person who wanted to take my happiness away since the day I met her. How stupid of me to believe in her words. But in the moment I looked into my reflection in the water, all I could see is the face of a killer. Someone who shouldn't be loved or surrounded by people, someone who shouldn't be forgiven. I was afraid, appearing in front of their faces to tell them I killed someone. That I took someone's life. I was afraid of the looks they would give me and of the whispers I would hear coming from their bedrooms._

_Stefan. His name instantly went through my mind, as did his face. How could I ever look him in the eyes again? How could he ever forgive me what I did?_

_Sometimes, love is not enough._

_So I started running again, not knowing where I'm running to, and confused about what I'm running from. But I kept running anyway. And I went everywhere. Places I never thought I would see in my life. Things I didn't even know exist. After few months, I realized how stupid it was from me to listen to Katherine. How she took a moment of weakness and fear, and filled my head with things I wouldn't normally believe in. I spent nights crying and blaming myself for listening to her, for believing in her words, for being so damn stupid. And I wanted to go home, so many times. Few times I even came close to Mystic Falls, but I could never urge myself to going back to them. Too much time has passed, I thought. Maybe they're mad, maybe they moved on, maybe they forgot about me by now. At least, that's what I kept telling myself to feel better._

_I got by pretty easy. Through compulsion, I would get everything I needed. And the whole time I kept thinking how Stefan would not approve of what I'm doing, and that made things easier for me, because I thought I'm turning into someone he didn't fell in love with. Into a girl he could never love, and if he could never love me, he could never miss me either. Although that didn't stop me from missing him as much as I did._

_One day I was walking through park, and I saw a young couple, holding hands and kissing. And they reminded me of us. They reminded me of how happy we were. And then I realized, Stefan doesn't know if I have changed or not. He doesn't even know if I'm alive or well, or fell in love with someone else. And I knew he thinks about those things. And I realized he probably still misses me._

_So I decided to go back home. And ringing that bell was probably the hardest thing I had to do in my life."_

**xxxx**

Elena heard Stefan whispering her name. But it wasn't the whisper that broke her heart, it was the look in his eyes. Surprise mixed with anger, and happiness, and she knew feeling like that is killing him inside.

„Hi" – she replied in the same voice tone. Her voice almost cracked under the preassure of saying anything.

Stefan furrowed his brows. He coughed and looked into his brother, who was staring right at him.

„Damon, could you leave us alone?" – Stefan asked his brother, eyeing him.

Damon looked at Elena, then back at Stefan, and nodded his head. He left the front door open, heading back to the kitchen.

Stefan came closer, leaning against the door. His look has changed now. There was no surprise or anger or happines in his eyes. They were empty.

„What are you doing here?" – he asked her with a cold voice. He was trying to keep himself together, but inside, he was shaking. His entire being was trembling. All he wanted was to hug her, to take her in his arms, to twirl her around the house, to kiss her on all the places she likes to be kissed, to make love to her, to spend and eternity with her. But he wouldn't let himself. Not without an explanation. Not without a good explanation. And not until some time has passed, until he gets comfortable with opening himself to the idea of getting hurt again.

„I.. I came back.. back home" – she stutered, taken back by the coldness of his voice. She doesn't deserve anything else, she thought.

Stefan laughed a little. „Home?" – he asked her, in all seriousness.

She simply nodded, not being able to pronaunce a word.

„You used to say home is wherever I am" – he looked at her painfully.

„It.. it is" – she said silently, almost whispering.

He laughed again. But in a second, he switched back to serious. „Then I guess you don't have a home anymore."

She thought he's going to slam the door in her face. She thought he's going to leave her out there, on her own. She thought.. she didn't know what the hell to think. And she had no idea what to expect either. She was being stupid, thinking he's going to be happy seeing her home. But it's been 8 years. He hasn't seen her for 8 years, he hasn't heard from her for 8 years. All that he knew, she could have been dead. He bit his lower lip, but in that moment Caroline appeared in the hallway. And Bonnie was standing right behind her.

„Elena?" – Caroline yelled.

That made Stefan turn around and frown his eyebrows. Caroline started walking towards Elena, but Bonnie kept standing in the place. Caroline looked up at Stefan, then back at Elena. She couldn't even imagine how Stefan must feel right now, but all the anger she held against Elena faded away when she saw her standing on the front door. She really did miss her. So she swung her hands and put them around Elena's neck and pulled her into a hug. Elena had put her hands on Caroline's back, fell into her hug and closed her eyes. Stefan smiled and started walking away.

Caroline had heard his footsteps, releasing Elena from her hug and turning back around. „Stefan!" – she furrowed her eyebrows. „Salvatore, come back this instant!" – she yelled after him, frustrated.

„She can stay in the guest room" – he said before disappearing upstairs.

All they could hear was how hard he had shut his door and how hard he had punched the wall.

**xxxx**

Elena was sitting on her bed, painting her toenails. Not her bed, the only bed that was hers in that house was the one in Stefan's room, and now she had lost that priviledge.

She had been there for a week and Stefan hasn't said a word to her. She hadn't seen much of him, but when they did found each other near, he would ignore her. Bonnie hasn't talked to her much either, she always had some excuse. Caroline and Damon talked to her the most. She was mostly stuck with Damon, because Caroline was spending so much time with Stefan. Elena knew she had no reason to complain, though.

„You can come in" – she said when she saw Elizabeth peaking into her room.

Elizabeth slowly came into the room, carefully examening what Elena is doing. She got closer to her and furrowed her brows.

„Aunt Caroline always uses the color red for her toenails. She says they make her look more passionate" – Elizabeth said, although she had no idea how the color of someones nail can make them more passionate. But as Caroline told her so, she believed her.

Elena laughed as she had pulled the brush of her baby pink nailpolish on her toenail. „I know" – she nodded.

Elizabeth crooked her lips. „Do you love uncle Stefan?" – Elizabeth sat on the bed next to her.

Elena had put the brush back and raised her head to look at Elizabeth, who was patiently waiting for her answer. „Yes, I do" – a smile curved in the corners of Elena's lips.

Elizabeth frowned. „Then why did you leave him? Mommy says we never leave the ones we love behind" – she said proudly.

Elena smiled lightly. That sounded like something Bonnie would say. „I made a mistake" – she said.

That answer seemed to satisfy Elizabeth. She understood that people make mistakes. And she also understood that Elena made a big mistake, since she had never seen Stefan treating someone like he had treated Elena. Elizabeth got up from the bed and walked over to the dresser. She picked up a picture of Elena and Caroline from the dresser. She smiled at how Caroline hadn't changed a bit all these years.

„Aunt Caroline is very pretty, don't you think?" – Elizabeth asked while studying the picture.

„Yes" – Elena nodded while looking at Elizabeth.

„The other day I told aunt Caroline and uncle Stefan that they should get married and have a baby so I have a cousin to play with, but then all of them became serious and daddy made me eat my peas" – Elizabeth raised her head from the picture to look at Elena who was looking at her shocked.

Stefan? Caroline? Their names were mixing up in her head, crashing with each other.

„Are Stefan and Caroline together?" – Elena asked as innocently as she could.

Elizabeth giggled and shook her head. „No silly. But uncle Stefan has been so sad for as long as I can remember, and aunt Caroline was the only one who could make him laugh. Well, except me, of course. And sometimes I would hear aunt Caroline crying, and uncle Stefan would comfort her, and after they would laugh. So I thought maybe they could stop being sad together, if they make each other happy" – Elizabeth said while shrugging her shoulders.

Elena had almost shed a tear. It was hard imagening Stefan, someone who had always been wearing a smile around her, not smiling at all. She knew he had probably been hurt, but not.. desperate. Sometimes, she forgot how much he loves her.

„I have to go now. Uncle Stefan is taking me out for ice cream" – she smiled as she hopped to the bedroom door.

When she reached the door, she turned around to look at Elena. „Don't be sad aunt Elena, uncle Stefan loves you too. He told me you're the most beautiful girl in the world" – Elizabeth smiled before she disappeared from the entrance.


	31. Chapter 31

Bonnie was sitting in the living room, with a pile of papers in her hands, surounded by books. She was only few exams away from getting her diploma is psychology, and she was determined to rock every one of those exams. When Elizabeth was born, Bonnie took a time out from the university. When Elizabeth was three, Damon convinced Bonnie she's going to be fine in the day care centre for few hours, and that he's going to visit her during his lunch breaks, and will pick her up as soon as he finishes with work. Both Stefan and Caroline were more than glad to watch over her until Bonnie or Damon come home, but Bonnie didn't want to put that kind of a preassure on them, and Damon thought it would be good for Elizabeth to socialize with other children. But every now and then Damon would come to pick Elizabeth up, only for them to tell him Caroline or Stefan already picked her up hours ago. In the beginning, Damon wasn't glad about that, but soon it became a habit, and when he saw things are not going to change, he got over it.

Bonnie had put her crooked eyeglasses in place, and turned another page while releasing a loud sigh. She had a feeling like she's studying for days, when it's only been few hours. Damon was at work, Elizabeth was at the day care center, and Stefan and Caroline were nowhere to be found, so there was a big chance Elizabeth is not in a day care center, but enjoying her ice cream at the mall, or having fun in the jumping castle.

„You wear glasses?" – Bonnie heard familiar voice coming from the hallway. She raised her head up and saw Elena standing leaned on the door frame.

Bonnie nodded. „Got them few years ago" – she said uninterested. She loved Elena, from the bottom of her heart. And she had missed her like crazy. But all that missing made Bonnie bitter, and her resentment grew bigger day by day Elena was gone. And the fact she didn't understand her actions made her more angry. She didn't want to talk to Elena. At least not yet.

„It seems that a lot has changed" – Elena was trying to keep the converstion alive.

„Mhm" – Bonnie said while concetrating on the book. She hoped Elena would take a hint and leave. But she knew Elena is not so good at taking hints.

„Elizabeth is beautiful. And so kind. She really is wonderful, Bonnie. She reminds me of you" – Elena tried to start a conversation when she saw that her friend is ignoring her once again.

A smile curved up in the corners of Bonnie's lips. „Thank you" – she said with a warm voice. „She's a lot like Damon, though" – Bonnie laughed lightly.

Elena smiled. „I didn't have a chance to talk to you properly" – she furrowed her brows, sitting on the chair across Bonnie.

Bonnie frowned. „Well, as you can see, I'm a little bit busy" – she snapped at her, but Elena decided to ignore that.

„It seems like you have been avoiding me" – Elena sighed.

Bonnie raised her look from the book to look Elena in the eyes. „And how did you expect me to react?" – she snapped once again.

Elena wasn't used to such hostility in her friends voice. Bonnie knew to be angry at her or annoyed with her, but she was never mean, and she never used that cold voice tone while talking to her. Not until now.

Elena didn't know how to answer that. It's like she forgot all the words, or like her mind was too crowded with thoughts for her to form one into words.

„You were gone for 8 years. And you went away without saying goodbye. We didn't know where you are, are you alive, are you trapped somewhere, or are you living a fulfilled life. I tried to do a locators spell with Jeremy's blood, but that didn't work since you're technically not alive anymore. So it really felt like you don't exist anymore. And after some time, it was easier to pretend you don't" – Bonnie could feel tears coming to her eyes. One tear rolled down her cheek as she pronaunced the last word.

„I went to visit Jeremy. And Alaric" – Elena didn't know what else to say. But she had a feeling like she should tell Bonnie she didn't forget anyone.

„And how did they react?" – Bonnie asked, although she knew exactly how they reacted. Jeremy acted like a little brother, mad at his sister for leaving without an explanation, and Alaric played protective fatherly figure.

„Not well" – Elena admitted while lowering her head. The truth was, they reacted better than Elena had expected.

„Stefan is not the only one you have to explain yourself to, you know?" – Bonnie asked with a judgemental tone of voice.

Elena nodded. „I know" – she kept her head lowered, not being able to look Bonnie in the eyes.

„Although he was the only one who didn't try to pretend like you're not out there. It only did him harm, and he knew that, but he did it anyway. Day by day, hope that you'll come home destroyed him. It was easier for us, we had our own lives to deal with. Caroline had Tyler, I had Damon and Elizabeth, Jeremy went to university and Alaric had his job. Stefan was the only one standing still. I guess that's the problem when the other person is your whole world. When they go away, you have a feeling like you don't exist either. I haven't seen Stefan truly smile in ages. Not like he did when he was with you. Caroline makes him smile, but sometimes I have a feeling like he fells he owes it to her. Because he makes her smile too. And Elizabeth makes him smile, but that's not that kind of a smile from which you can see he's completely happy" – Bonnie kept gazing at Elena who had her head lowered the whole time. She was worried about Stefan, because no one should be so sad, especially not for an eternity.

„I thought.. I thought he won't be able to forgive me. That neither of you will" – Elena raised her head, and that is when Bonnie saw tears streaming down her face.

Bonnie frowned. „So instead of coming to us, you listened to Katherine?" – Bonnie raised her voice.

Elena didn't know what else to say. She wanted to say so many things, she wanted to present Bonnie her point of view and her thoughts, but she wasn't able to. It wouldn't make a difference anyway. It wouldn't make up for the past 8 years.

„I never believed in her words" – Bonnie said as she furrowed her brows, bringing them closer to each other. „She tried to get Stefan all for herself. She's smart, and she was patient. But he was too fucked up because of you, even she had seen that. I talked to her few times. Sometimes, she seemed so normal, you know? Not like someone who tried to destroy your life, or who succeeded in doing so. I hated her for what she did to Damon, for how she made him feel, but I think Stefan was the only consistan thing in her life. I think he's the only thing she can hold on to, and if she ever made a mistake, it was letting him go. At least that was an impression I got from her. But even she knew that he's not going to let you got that easily, probably because she hasn't let go of him for all these years" – Bonnie said with a pitiful voice.

Elena kept looking at Bonnie with tears in her eyes. What Katherine did, it made sense. She scared Elena off so she could have Stefan all for herself. She should have known. Katherine always had some sort of an agenda. She tried to blame it on Katherine, but she knew it was all her fault. No one made her listen to Katherine, and no one made her run away. Katherine manipulated her, but she had let her manipulate her.

„I'm sorry, Bonnie" – Elena finally said, locking her eyes on Bonnie's face.

„Yeah, one sorry doesn't make up for the 8 years you've been gone" – Bonnie looked her in the eye, keeping a light smile on her face, not wanting to sound too harsh. She was tired of sounding harsh, and she was tired of being angry. She wasn't in a forgiving mode, but she wasn't looking for an argument either.

„Can you leave me alone now? I really need to go back to my studying before Elizabeth comes home" – Bonnie asked her silently.

Elena raised her hand and cleaned the tears from her face. „Sure" – she got up from the chair and left the room, leaving Bonnie buried deep into her book.

**xxxx**

Elena was sitting on her bed, bored out of her mind, thinking about the conversation she had with Bonnie earlier. Thinking about how she fucked everything up. Everything was perfect. She had an amazing life. Her family was fine. What was left of them, anyway. They were safe, they were healthy, they were happy. She enjoyed the company of her friends, and she had the love of her life by her side. And then she had lost it all. And she had no one to blame but herself.

„Hey there" – she heard a friendly voice as she opened her eyes and sat up on the bed. She saw Caroline standing on the entrance, smiling at her.

„Hey" – Elena answered, gesturing for Caroline to come in the room.

Caroline slowly sat on the bed next to her, picking up on her saddness. Caroline knew that whatever she says or does for Elena right now, it won't help. Nothing will change how she feels, and nothing will change how other people feel about her. She watched her friends being mad at Elena, she watched Stefan getting madder and madder at her over the years, but she couldn't be mad at her. Because all the time she was thinking about how Elena must feel. She remembered how scared she was when she had hurt somebody for the first time. And how she wasn't able to tell anyone, not even her closest friends. And how lost she was. And she knew exactly how Elena felt in that moment. And she was sure, if Katherine wasn't there, Elena would come straight back home. Maybe she wouldn't tell anyone about what happened, but she wouldn't run away. She was feeling lost, and Katherine filled her head with the thoughts Elena was most afraid of. And it all just became too much, so she ran. Because running made her forget.

„It will get easier" – Caroline had put the palm of her hand on Elena's back.

Elena turned her head around to look at Caroline. Tears started grouping in her eyes once again. „I don't think so" – first tear fell down Elena's cheek, going straight down, and then disappearing on her lips.

Caroline tilted her head. „He was looking for you, you know? He came back from another quest the day you showed up. He never gave up. None of us did. But he didn't even want to hear about the possibility of you being gone forever. So he was gathering cluess, asking people all over the world have they seen you. I think he looked in every corner of this Earth, that he peaked into every hole. And it was so hard, seeing his disappointed face expression every time he came back home without you" – Caroline sighed, remembering all of the times she had caught him crying.

„I know. I know that he was looking for me" – Elena admitted, clearing her face from tears with her hand.

Caroline furrowed her brows. „You do?"

Elena nodded while looking Caroline in the eyes. „I've heard about it. So every time I heard he's close, I would go somewhere else" – another group of tears started rolling down her face.

„You kept avoiding him?" – Caroline raised her voice, annoyed with Elena for the first time since she left, and came back.

„I couldn't.. I couldn't see.. him" – Elena started stuttering again, while tears were covering her lips.

There was silence between them. Caroline had pulled her hand from Elena's back and sat calmly on the bed beside her.

„Was he ever with someone else?" – Elena was the first one to break the awkward silence in the room after few minutes.

Caroline turned her head around to look at her, and laughed out loud at the idea of Stefan being with anyone else than Elena. Then she saw Elena was being serious, so she shook her head. „No" – Caroline said in a hurry – „He was looking for you. He was searching for you. He didn't have time to be with anyone else. I don't think he ever wanted, or would want, to be with anyone else. He was mostly.. sad" – she said, still amused at the thought of Stefan being with someone else. She was more amused with the fact Elena would think so, though. „Were you with anyone else?"

Elena turned her head around in a hurry and looked at Caroline, shocked. She was surprised Caroline would even ask her that, but after a moment she realized she has a completely good reason. She had no idea where Elena was or what she was going.

Elena shook her head. „No" – she replied silently, almost through whisper. „When I was in France, there was this guy in a coffee shop, sitting by the table next to mine. He had messy blonde hair, big blue eyes and a huge smile over his face. He kept smiling at me, and I smiled back. And he seemed nice, and attractive, but he wasn't.." – Elena stopped at the end of the sentence, not being able to think of the word which he wasn't.

„He wasn't Stefan" – Caroline finished her sentence for her.

„Yeah" – Elena nodded. „No one ever will be" – she laughed with a cute, fun laugh, but Caroline could sense a certain amount of sadness and regret in that laugh. Elena turned her head around again to face Caroline. „Did something happen between you and Stefan?"

Caroline looked at her with a shocked face expression. Elena felt guilty for asking, because it was none of her business. She was the one who left, and if they wanted to be with each other, they had a full right to. Part of her didn't want to know the answer, but the other part of her had to know. „No" – Caroline shook her head in laughter. „When me and Tyler broke up, he was there for me. So was Bonnie, but I had a feeling like Stefan understands me better. In that matter, I had a feeling like no one understands me better than him. But nothing ever happened" – she frowned.

Elena was interested in her face expression while she was saying that. „Have you ever wanted something to happen?" – she asked cueriously.

„Sometimes" – Caroline said without thinking, looking her in the eyes, not even blinking.

„So then how come nothing happened?"

„Because I knew he would wait for you forever" – Caroline said while moving her look away from her face. „Also, I never loved him that way. I love him as a friend, like I always did. But sometimes, I was lonely, and I thought how good he would be for me. But I never felt anything more than friendship for him" – she explain. She had a feeling like she has to justify herself to Elena, because she was her friend, and because no matter how many years she was gone, she had Stefan's heart on the palm of her hand and always will have.

Elena smiled at her, relieved to hear that, although she didn't show exactly how relieved she was.

„Anyway, I have to go to meet my mom now" – Caroline said while putting her arm around Elena's shoulder and pulling her into a hug. „But I will come back, and we'll do something fun, just the two of us" – she promised.

„Sounds like fun" – Elena said as she watched Caroline wave and leave the room.

When she left, Elena was left alone with her thoughts. And she was thinking about Caroline's words. About how Stefan would wait forever for her. And that made her feel ever more guilty for leaving.

**xxxx**

**Well, this chapter didn't have any direct Stelena interaction, and I'm sorry for that. But I felt like other people in Elena's life, especially her two best friends that she grew up with, have something to say about all this, and that their opinions and outlook on what Elena did is important. So I hope you enjoyed the chapter although there was no Stelena, and be sure to tell me your opinion in reviews! Thanks!**


	32. Chapter 32

„Nothing has changed" – Stefan heard a familiar voice behind him as he was putting one of the books on it's place on the shelf. He turned around and saw Elena leaning on the door frame of his bedroom and looking around the room with a light smile on her face.

He just stared at her for a moment, because she was the same as she was when she left. Her straight, brown hair was still falling all over her back, moving alongside her body. Her big, chestnut eyes were still wandering like child's, capturing every detial of whatever got her attention. She still had that little perky nose of hers, and full, red lips. And for a moment there, he had a feeling like nothing has changed. Like five minutes ago she had been in his arms, and like she's still his. Like he can kiss her and hug her whenever he wants. It took him a while to realize that things are not the same. That she's not the same old Elena, and that she's not his anymore.

„Nothing in my room ever changes" – he replied coldly, giving her the notion that things have changed, and that they can't go back to what they were before.

„Are we going to spend an eternity like this?" – she said with a sobbing voice, voice that had cut him so deep that he had to turn around and look her in the eyes just to make sure she's not really crying. And she wasn't. But her eyes looked like they're carrying all the guilt of the world.

„You tell me" – he said as he walked towards her, locking his look on hers. Her body became stiff. All of a sudden, every thought she had and every word she planned to say disappeared from her head when he came so close to her.

„Tell you what?" – she swalloved.

„Let's start with why you left" – he raised his voice, unintentionally.

She kept looking at him, speechless. She tried to remember everything she wanted to tell him, but words just wouldn't come out of her mouth. She started trembling as he was standing only few steps away from her. He noticed her trembling, so he smiled lightly and lowered his head.

„I thought you won't be able to forgive me" – she stuttered, not being able to stop shaking in his presence.

He raised his head to look at her. „Forgive you what?" – he asked confused.

„Me killing that man" – she said, catching breath after every pronounced word.

He laughed out loud, but she didn't understand why did he find this so amusing. „There's nothing to forgive Elena" – he said through laughter while she looked at him in shock. „You're a vampire. It was bound to happen sooner or later. I just don't understand why did you listen to Katherine, out of all people" – his face expression became serious as he frowned.

„I.. I don't know" – she said as she lowered her head in embarassment.

„Yeah" – Stefan laughed silently as he lowered his head.

There was an awkward silence between them, with both of them looking at the the floor. After few minutes he noticed a tear drop falling on the hardwood floor from her face. He raised his head, but hers was still lowered. He wanted to remove the hair from her face, he wanted to caress her cheek and take her pain away with his kisses.

„Don't you love me anymore?" – she raised her head and he couldn't see the color of her eyes behind all those tears.

How could she even ask him that. Doesn't she know that he will always love her?

„I love you. I just can't be with you" – he said as he tried to touch the skin of her arm, but she twitched when he raised his hand to move it to her.

„Why?" – she asked through tears.

„Why?" – he laughed out loud, asking her in disbelief. But she simply nodded while tears were streaming down her face. „I could ask you the same question. Where were you for the past eight years when I wanted to be with you? Why didn't you come back home? Why did you leave me alone?" – a tear rolled down his cheek, but he wiped it off before she could notice him crying. „I can't be with you, because for the past eight years I've been looking for you, and you have been running away from me" – he swalloved, stepped behind her and went out of the room.

That night she fell asleep thinking he hates her. But she didn't knew how much he wanted to kiss her, touch her. She didn't knew how much he wanted to be with her.

And she didn't knew that that night, tears were keeping him from falling asleep.

**xxxx**

Stefan came in the living room to pour himself a glass of whiskey. He found Damon sitting on the sofa, reading a book.

„Well, you and Elena had and interesting conversation" – Damon commented without raising his look from the book.

„Eavesdropping much?" – Stefan pouted while pouring whiskey from the bottle to the glass.

„Loud much?" – Damon replied. But Stefan didn't comment, he simply smirked and sat on the sofa next to Damon. Damon raised his look from the book and threw a glance at his brother's face. He had the same look in his eyes when Elena left. Look that was screaming despair. „You're not planning on forgiving her, are you?" – Damon frowned as he closed the book and left it on the table.

„I don't know" – Stefan took a sip of his drink, then stirred it in the glass, watching whiskey crashing from one side of the glass to another.

Damon was not happy with his brother not knowing. Not because he didn't like Elena, but because he was worried about Stefan.

„Let me ask you this" – he started although he knew Stefan is not up for discussion – „What if she leaves again?" – he asked.

Stefan turned his head around to look at his brother and furrowed his brows. He was worked up partly because Damon was suggesting something like that, partly because he didn't think about that himself. „I don't know, Damon" – he went back to staring at his drink.

„Well, you better figure it out" – he said as he grabbed the book from the table and walked over to the shelf to put it in it's place.

„Screw you, Damon" – Stefan pouted – „I'm sorry if my problems are getting in the way of your perfectly figured life" – he raised his voice, almost yelling.

„Stefan" – Damon pronounced his name in shock.

„You think I don't realize how pathetic I look? For loving her after all these years. For even thinking about forgiving her. I would give anything to have what you have, but I don't. I can't have what you have. But I can have her. And she's enough for me" – Stefan took the last sip of his drink and put the glass on the table, getting up from the sofa in a hurry and leaving the room.

Damon had put his palm on his forehead, made an angry face expression and threw the books across the room.

**xxxx**

„Hey" – Damon greeted Bonnie as he came into their bedroom.

„Hey yourself" – Bonnie replied. She closed her psychology textbook and took off her glasses as she watched Damon take off his daily clothes and slip into his nightwear.

„So, you and Stefan.." – Bonnie said while watching him pulling a grey sleeveless shirt over his strong torso.

„You weren't supposed to hear that" – he laid on the bed next to her, kissing her cheek.

„Then maybe you should't talk so loud" – Bonnie smiled and made herself comfortable in his arms. „Why don't you think he should forgive her?" – Bonnie furrowed her brows.

„Did you forgive her?"

Bonnie shook her head. „Not yet. Not completely."

„Then why should I advice me brother to do so if you can't do it yourself?" – Damon frowned, pulling his finger up and down her arm.

Bonnie sighed. „Because it's different for them. Me and Elena are used to being mad at each other. And both me and her know that eventually, I'll stop being mad. But those two.. one day, they're going to be left alone, all by themselves. They need each other. Forever is an awfully long time to be alone" – Bonnie said while cuddling her head to Damon's chest.

„I know. And one day, I'm not going to be here for him.." – Damon said sadly while pulling his fingers through Bonnie's hair.

„Does that really bug you?" – Bonnie asked curiously.

Damon nodded his head. „I don't want him to be alone. Not even for a second" – he replied.

Bonnie smiled, raised her head and kissed Damon on the lips. „He won't be" – and it sounded like a promise.

They stayed in that position for few minutes, until Bonnie spoke again. „Today, Elizabeth asked me are we going to give her a brother or sister or will she have to buy one for herself" – Bonnie laughed as she pressed her hand to Damon's chest.

A wide grin appeared on Damon's face. „Then maybe we should give her one" – he said through laughter.

Bonnie pouted. „We can talk about that when I get my diploma and find a steady job" – she said.

„And until then, we can practice" – he lowered his head to kiss Bonnie on the lips before pulling a blanket over their heads.

**xxxx**

**Just wanted to let you know there are only two more chapters of this story left. But good news is, I'm going to write another one. I'll publish the first chapter probably the same day when I end this one, or the day after. It's going to be AU, all human, all drama, all heartbreak, so be sure to tune in ;)**


	33. Chapter 33

Elena was standing on the ladders in front of the big bookshelf in her room, trying to reach the book from the top.

„Need a hand?" – she heard Stefan's voice behind her. She turned her head around to face him. He was leaning on the door frame, smirking at her. She smiled at him before turning her head around. She looked adorable, in her little white shorts and big, baggy gray shirt that was lingering from her body. He wondered was that one of his shirts, since he knew Elena doesn't own that kind of clothes. He didn't mind, his shirts had fit her better than him anyway.

„No, I got it" – she stretched out her hand to reach the book that was on the very top of the bookshelf. As she had put her fingers on the top of the book, she slipped on the ladders and fell of them. She prepared herself to fall on her back, but instead of falling on the old hardwood floor, she fell into Stefan's arms.

She opened her eyes and found him staring at her, with a serious face expression. No, he was more stunned than serious. And he was stunned. It was like he forgot how beautiful she is. Over the time, true beauty of her face started fading away in his mind. And this was the first time he really looked at her since she came back. This was the first time he studied the lines of her face and the way her hair was falling over her back and how bright her big, brown eyes were shinning. He remembered how is it to hold her and to feel her touch on his skin. And he realized that after all this time, he still feels the same. That a lot of things have changed, but that some never will.

He had carefully let go of her when she stood on her own two feet. She left, he remembered. And no one can guarantee she won't leave again. Not even she herself. And if she does, he'll have to go thorugh everything again, and the second time around he wouldn't make it out alive. The pain would crush him.

„Thank you" – she said silently, keeping her look locked on his.

Screw it.

It's about taking risks, and taking chances, and it's about gambling. If you never try, you'll never know, it's too hard living a life asking yourself 'what if' for an eternity.

And he loves her. He loves her more than anything in this whole messed up world.

He cupped her face with both of his hands, and she closed her eyes, leaning on his palms, enjoying his touch. And then, he surprised her with a kiss. Nothing more than a simple peck on the lips, peck that only left both of them wanting more. So as soon as he detached his lips from hers, she got on the tip of her toes, and kissed him passionately. And she kept on kissing him until both of their lips became dry and until both of their throats stiffened.

„I'm so sorry, I'll never leave again" – she clutched to his shirt with the fingers of both of her hands and leaned her head on his chest.

„You promise?" – he leaned his head to rest on the top of hers.

„I swear with everything that is dear to me. I swear with my life" – she said while pressing her head in his chest, vowing to herself she will never even think about leaving. She raised her head to look him in the eyes. „Forgive me?" – she asked silently.

He smiled, looking down at her. „I forgave you the moment I saw you on my doorstep" - he lowered his head to give her a peck on the lips. As soon as she smiled at him, he had took her in his arms, lifted from the ground and twirled her around the room. Something he wanted to do from the moment he saw her. And he enjoyed her giggle as he did so.

He had put her gently on the bed and placed himself on top of her. He started planting kisses on her cheek, moving on to her lips, and down her neck. She released a silent moan as she bent her body in the direction of his kisses.

It's been 8 years since they were together. It's been 8 years since they were with anyone. And when their bodies were close to each other, it felt like home.

He slowly lowered his hands and unbuttoned her shorts, pulling them down while kissing her neck. When she felt his fingers going over her panties, she released a silent moan that was stuck in his ear. He got up and helped her take off her shirt too, leaving her in nothing but her bra and panties, which he was eager to take off too.

She had put her hands on the top of his head and pulled his head down. She could feel a smile curving up in the corners of his lips as he pressed his mouth on the skin of her stomach. He continued planting kisses on her stomach, going down and kissing her over her panties and her inner thighs. As his kisses burned her skin, she moaned. And when they became too much, she pulled him up by his shoulders. In shock, he fell on the other side of the bed, as she rolled over on the top of him. In a hurry, she took off his shirt and his pants, leaving him in nothing but his boxers, grinning against him.

„I missed this so much" – she said as she lowered her head to kiss his chest. She kissed and she bit him and even scratched him a little. She couldn't stop even if she wanted to.

She felt his hands on her back, and soon enough he rolled her over and found himself on the top of her again. He unhooked her bra, slowly rolled the braces down her arms and threw it somewhere behind him. He went back to kissing her bare chest.

„I forgot how good you feel" – he murmured between kisses. She giggled as she felt his fingers on the top of her panties, slowly pulling them down. When she felt them on the bottom of her feet, she threw them of the bed.

He raised his head to smile at her, and she bit her lower lip.

The next thing she could feel is him slowly entering into her, kissing her colar bone, and she slowly pantered into his ear, gently scratching the skin on his back.

And it was as simple as that. All questions answered, all worries gone, all the regret and guilt shaken away. Their minds were empty and their bodies became one.

Because in the end of the day love is all you need. And love can make you do stupid things. Like forgive those who don't deserve forgivness, and love those who don't deserve to be loved, and give second chances to those who already blew so many chances away. Love can make you look like a fool. But there's also no greater feeling than love, because it includes all. Happiness, passion, pleasure. All of those emotions can destroy you standing alone. But when you mix them together and when you add love in the mixture, there's not grater feeling in the world.

And suddenly everything makes sense. And nothing else matters. And we're all people who make mistakes and who from time to time feel like our heart will stop beating. And sometimes we would rather listen to our minds than our hearts, but our heart has mind of it's own and our mind doesn't have a heart of it's own.

And forgiving is what makes us human. And not forgiving is what makes us determined. But there's a difference between people you can't live without and people who you don't want to live without.

And they kept laying in each other's arms long after they were done. And they laughed and smiled and kissed and hugged and tickled. And both of them knew there's a long fall down from the cloud nine they were currently on.

But love is a risk.

And if they're going to fall, they're going to fall together.


	34. Chapter 34

**Epilogue**

**60 years later**

Elena and Stefan were standing on the top of the hill that was near the edge of the town. The sun was setting down, and Stefan was standing behind Elena, holding his arms around her waist and planting kisses on her cheek every now and then. Elena was so peaceful in his hug, and even after all these years she felt like the day she felt when she found herself in his arms for the first time. That sensation she got every time when she found herself near him didn't disappear. Because she had found her soulmate, her best friend, the love of her life, and she's going to be with him forever. As long as there's world, there's going to be them too.

They were standing on the edge of the town, prepared to leave it. Because all of the people they loved left too.

Alaric eventually got married to another teacher from their school. They moved to Georgia, where she originally was from, when her mother got sick. Only few years later Jeremy got a phone call about Alaric being in a car crash and dying on his way to a hospital. It was tragic, and both Jeremy and Elena regretted not being near him, the last parent they had. They attended the funeral only to find out his wife is expecting, which made the whole thing more heartbreaking than it already was. Alaric would make such a great dad, and he's never going to know his child.

Eventually, Jeremy moved to California and married. He has two daughters, and Elena promised him she's going to visit him often. His wife died few years ago, and since he told her he's not going to make it any longer either, Elena has been crying every day in Stefan's arms.

After Tyler and Caroline broke up, in college he met Allison, his bride to be. They got married after being engaged for 5 years. Some say Tyler found hard to commit, and then others say he never got over Caroline. One thing was for sure, Caroline never got over him. She never did stop loving him. The fact she never loved anyone else during 60 years time was the proof. Stefan was probably right when he said Tyler was the love of her love. And Elena always admired her strength, since she had to watch them every day, happy, living a human life. They never had any children, but both of them had successful careers, but as we know it, every human life has to end sooner or later. Tyler died from his second heart attack. They said stress had run him down since he was always worred about his firm. When he was on his death bed, with his heart barely beating, and with his eyes half closed, he didn't call for his wife, he called for Caroline. And she came, the same as he remembers her. Silky skin, full red lips, little perky nose, light smile on her face, light blue eyes and bouncy blonde curls on her shoulders. And with his last breath he told her he loves her and that he will be waiting for her in another life.

And Damon and Bonnie? They had children, and their children had children. Other than Elizabeth, they had another girl, Suzanne and a boy, Stefan. Damon picked a name for his son, so the name of his brother would officially live for a long time. And it seemed that Stefan lived in the boy too, because his son reminded Damon of his brother when he was a child, a human. And he could have only hoped his son will grow up to be as half of a man as his brother is. Bonnie got cancer. Damon begged her to do something about it, to ask the supernatural world to heal her, but Bonnie refused, saying she had a perfect life. That she married the love of her life and that she loved another human being even when he wasn't a human more than she ever thought it's possible. And that that man gave her three perfect children who were the spitten image of him, and that she couldn't be more glad about that fact. And that if it's her time to go, then be it. So after some time, Damon accepted that and let his love go. And he made her last few months on this Earth as comfortable as he could. Bonnie did fight, she was taking treatment, but unfortunatelly, her cancer was already too developed when they discovered it, so they couldn't do much about it. She stopped the treatment and she survived only two months without it, but everyone made sure those two months were worth living for. Damon died two weeks after Bonnie. From a broken heart, everyone said.

Elena, Stefan and Caroline watched their friends live their life. They watched the whole town grow up, people they've seen around, people they were once friends with, people they didn't even know. And what a sight it was. A sight that made them happy, and that made them sad too from time to time. It made them wish for everything they can't have, like kids, and careers and new friends, but the fact that after everyone are gone they're not going to be alone made them through it. Fact they are not alone made them through it.

„I'm here" – they heard Caroline from behind them. They turned around and she smiled at them as she applied her cherry lip gloss on her mouth.

Elena raised her head to look up at Stefan. „What now?"

They all looked at each other.

„Can we go to Italy?" – Caroline asked excited.

Stefan laughed out loud. „Yes Caroline, we can go to Italy" – as she promissed her they would.

And they went to Italy, and France, and the whole Europe actually. Eventually, the whole world. And they went to visit Jeremy and they said their goodbyes to him and Elena still kept calling him kid. Just like Damon kept calling Stefan little brother until the very end.

Speaking about Damon, Stefan found a letter adressed to him on Damon's bed table after he died.

„Little brother,

life is a journey. No matter how long it lasts, 10 or 90 years, or like in your case, more than two centuries, life is a journey, and you learn something new every day. Life tests you and it teaches you and it throws you around like you're a piece of nothing by the side of the road. It takes away people you love and it gives you other people to love only to take them away from you later. Other than that, life is pretty great. Sex is great. Beer is great. Happines and pleasure and passion are more than great. But the best thing is love. And I'm not only talking about love a man feels for a woman and vice versa, I'm talking about love in general. Love that child feels for their parents and love that parents feel for their children, a love that siblings feel for each other. Because I do love you brother, and I do know you know that. But we spent two centuries on this Earth, and I feel like I haven't said that enough to you. I know you love me, you don't have to spend an eternity worrying did I die not knowing you love me, because I do know. And I remember everything we did together. I remember you as a little boy, when we tackled and played catch, and how you blushed around girls and how I was the one to protect you against the bullies. I was your older brother, after all. I am your older brother, and always going to be. And I blamed you for so many things. Things you weren't guilty of, and my hate partly drove you to be who you were. I left you on your own, my little brother, because I was blinded by both hate and love. And I made your life miserable for a while. But after some time I decided I do not want to hurt my flesh and blood, so I helped you fix the mess I was partly resposible for. And I was a lucky man, having my brother by my side my whole life. And I'm sorry you didn't have this, life you have been craving for. But I know you don't regret it, as long as you have Elena by your side, because she is the piece you have been missing all these years. And I watched you help my wife, and play with my children, and I realized that you may have been the most important person in my life. And it's hard saying who you love more, because the love I feel for you and the love I feel for my wife and my children and very different kinds of love. So I think you're the one who taught me it's pointless to say who you love more or who you love better because love is love and love is equal. And I often felt silly, because you're my little brother and I was supposed to teach you things, not the other way around. But the way you loved Elena, unconditionally and selflessly, and how you loved Caroline, like you never had a friend before, and how you loved me, like a brother and like a best friend, and still had place in your heart to love my wife and my children made me realize that. That love has no boundries. And if you can't save all the people you love from the burning house, you burn with them. And if you can save them, you save them before you save yourself. So thank you little brother, thank you for being part of my life, and thank you for teaching me. And I know that one day we will meet again. Maybe I didn't agree with our father much, but now I do believe in Heaven. And I do believe that's where all of us will be going, and you and me, we will play catch there, and I will kick your little sorry ass like I did when we were kids. And until then, go brother, take your girl and live your life, or as many lives as you want. Take a journey.

Love, Damon"

And what a journey it was. What a journey it's going to be.

**xxxx**

**Well, this is the end. First of all, thank you who have been reading my fan fiction, and thank you for all of your wonderful reviews. Second of all, I'm sorry you had to endure all of my grammar mistakes, I do apologize for that as English is not my first language, so I did my best. I really had fun writing this, and I hope you had fun reading it as well. Tomorrow I will publish the first chapter of my new fan fiction, so if you want, tune in on that one too!**

**Love you all.**


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